Housestitter drank all my booze

Owner Questions, Advice & Chat
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I really don’t know what to do. I came home on Saturday after a 2 week vacation and a sitter from this site. She “disclosed” to me that she had “a shot of (my) bourbon on one day and another today” which already bothered me. But now I went downstairs to get a glass of wine and it appears she drained BOTH my bourbon bottle AND my high-end tequila that I bought last year in Mexico. I don’t know what to do.

I gave her a good review even though she was nowhere near perfect because I was afraid that she would give me a negative review and hurt my chances for future sits. But this is beyond the pale.

I also can tell that she locked my dogs out of the house at times (scratching at the door) and locked them in my bedroom (same evidence). It’s so upsetting. But this site doesn’t make an owner feel safe calling out a bad sitter without retribution in terms of deterring other sitters.

What can i do? I’m apoplectic.

BTW, my one dog who she claims was a “Bad boy” clearly has PTSD from this sit. What the heck can i do>???

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It’s unfortunate that you already gave her a review. With the blind review system you can now be honest with your review because the sitter will not see the review until either they’ve left a review or it’s too late to do so. Assuming she’s left yours already, I would contact her and let her know that what happened was unacceptable and the only reason you didn’t mention it is because you didn’t notice it prior to leaving a review. In the future I’d put away or call out anything you don’t want sitters to consume. IMO they shouldn’t consume anything you don’t specifically invite them to use, but some people really make themselves at home. Also definitely do a full review of your home before writing a review in the future.

I’m sorry your booze is gone but I’m nostly sorry that your doggo was mistreated. No dog should be locked away like that unless it’s part of their training/normal routine. If I were you I’d probably raise a dispute with THS and provide photos of the scratches. This sitter should be on their radar for behavior like that.

FWIW, I’m a sitter.

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I’m very sorry that you had that experience. As Creaturecuddler says the review is blind so no reason not to leave a factual review. I second contacting THS. If you have documentation do raise a members dispute. I believe you will need to use the words members dispute in order for THS to treat is as such, as it is a certain way those should be handled. A members dispute can lead to getting a warning or also getting locked out of the platform. If you have messages etc that confirm do take a screenshot of it before you raise the dispute.

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As the previous members asked, why give her a good review?
I have to admit given the new “blind review” system, don’t understand?
This system ONLY works if we are honest in our reviews.
Now, I do think we should be kind and respectful.
And we cannot complain about anything known ahead of time…
But that’s not your story!

Re your concern about being honest in your review of the sitter detering other sitters?
You WANT to deter any sitter who thinks locking up a dog that way or draining the liquor cabinet is acceptable behaviour.

We HAVE heard similar stories from HO who were nervous on booking another THS sitter: it was obvious to us they were nice, normal people and in our Video Chat we as Sitters and they as HO quickly knew we were all “nice people” and all would be good. (Worst story we heard? HO had 300 bottles in their wine cellar drunk!)

We were HO first, Sitters second. That gave us an advantage in how we approach sits. Almost every HO we’ve encountered has been welcoming & generous, but we respect all HO rules re home & pets. From posts in this Forum, our own experience as HOs and what others have told us privately, the vast majority of Sitters generally use staples (cooking oil, spices perishables) or only what they’ve been encouraged to have & even then, minimally.

BUT what you’re citing (esp about your dog’s care) IS beyond the plale.

You don’t say in the post: were these two virtually full bottles?
A single person drank 1.5 liters of hard alcohol in two weeks? Pretty shocking.
Now, if you had 20% in each bottle = 300 ml drunk = a shot a day isn’t quite the same picture, BUT still completely unacceptable since you hadn’t said, “Drink up!”

MUCH bigger issue is that the dog was locked up and that it was SO obvious from damage to the doors. THAT would have me aploplectic. And THAT sitter should NOT be entrusted to care for future HO’s pets.

To be fair to future HO considering this sitter, you should have made that clear in your review - I’m sure if you had read another HO’s review of this sitter which told this story, you would never have agreed to have them take care of your dog.

You could and should have taken pix both of the bottles and the doors and submitted them to THS Customer Service. Then, posted a review of the sitter noting your two concerns as clearly but as fairly as possible.

Thankfully the new “blind review” system means HO can take time to consider what to say, and say it fairly/honestly in the two-week review period,

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‘I gave her a good review even though she was nowhere near perfect because I was afraid that she would give me a negative review and hurt my chances for future sits. But this is beyond the pale.’

The review you left is entirely incongruent with your experience, which isn’t helpful for anyone. If she’s house sitting for you and having a boozy party for one with your liquor…would you want to other home owners to experience this? If she left your poor dog traumatised due to maltreatment, would you want other home owners to experience this? Because, in leaving her a good review, they likely will.

The review process is now such that you can post a review safely in the knowledge there will be no comeback. Yes, she might be angry and post a defensive response, but at least you have accurately represented her behaviour.

I’m afraid there isn’t much that can be done at this stage, unless you feel comfortable addressing the above points with her directly, but it’s likely you’ll be on the receiving end of a vitriolic response, or will be blocked. My advice would be to look out for sitters in the future who specify they do not drink!

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strawberryjent Bingo. IMHO this HO has really let down future HO who need to know what they’d be getting with this Sitter: someone who is cruel to their beloved dog and completely disrespectful of their things .

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Garfield - From what i’ve read in the Forum, at most it might be a warning. But yes, if a Sitter or a HO gets several “warnings” it should lead to being blocked from the platform.

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I agree with the other posters that this is unacceptable behaviour. As a sitter, I never dare touch anything that has not been specifically offered and, even then, minimally or I replace it.

The dogs issue is more important and I am really sorry they were distressed when you returned.

Unfortunately, I am not so sure about the dispute. You will need to put quite a lot of energy into it and the result is quite unpredictable. From your description, all you have as proof is a picture of the scratches on the doors but, unless you have pictures pre and post sit, the sitter can always say that they were there before. The fact that you have already written a positive review before you noticed these issues doesn’t help either. You would also need to be prepared to have a dispute raised against you. Sometimes this is easily settled when there’s no ground for it but it may not be an easy process.

Of course, it’s up to you. It depends on whether you have the strength to go ahead or just want to move on and concentrate in getting your dogs happy and back to normal. You can also do both.

Good luck

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@ASASG @strawberryjen The HO said they were worried that the sitter would give THEM a bad review in retaliation and hurt their chances with getting sitters in the future. This is how it used to work before the blind reviews so my guess is that this is an longer-term HO who doesn’t realize the review system has changed and they can be honest now. While it would have been ideal for them to have been honest to help out future HOs, that fear still lingers from the past so it’s understandable why they were afraid to if they didn’t understand how it works.

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Ah, I misread this and believed it to mean the home owner was afraid of affecting the sitter’s chances in the future. Yes, there were flaws in the old system and fortunately, this is no longer a concern. I guess there is nothing that can be done to amend the review now, other than contacting THS, but at least the home owner knows how it now works.

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You made a big mistake giving her a good review, didn’t you know about the blind review system? You can’t read each others reviews until both have left one. So no retaliatory reviews,
unfortunately you don’t really have a leg to stand on now. No proof, it’s just he said, she said.

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@emilygcohen
The moral of this story is only give honest reviews.

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If people do not give honest reviews then the Trusted in TrustedHouseSitters loses its meaning.

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@emilygcohen unfortunately it’s too late to change your review of your sitter . However, it’s not too late to address your concerns this with the sitter .

If she doesn’t know that you were unhappy with this behaviour and you have already given her a good review she will likely continue to behave this way .( and might even tell future hosts the last host didn’t mind / was happy with it - she gave me a good review )

You could tell her that after writing the review you noticed the empty bottles and that you are not happy with her emptying your bourbon and high-end tequila. She may apologise, offer to reimburse you , or at least think twice about doing this on future sits .

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I think people are being too hard on the HO. Yes, honest reviews are important, but that’s only been possible for a relatively short period of time. This user seems to have been around since back when you couldn’t be honest because then you’d get a nasty review in return. Someone who doesn’t use the site or this forum regularly would not necessarily know that it’s changed and would still be worried about that. People need to have a bit more patience for us old timers who aren’t up on all the newfangled tools that have been implemented and therefore make a mistake. Presumably she’ll now know that she can be honest in her reviews going forward so it won’t be an issue again (hopefully it won’t be an issue regardless) and I’d still encourage her to reach out to the sitter to let them know the problem (assuming the sitter has already left a review, otherwise there is still a chance at a revenge review) so that the sitter knows it is unacceptable.

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CreatureCuddler -
Very nicely put: in retrosect I did make assumptions in my response.

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Sharp eye, CreatureCuddler - Agree 100% now that I’ve reread it and admire you proviing that clarification to both the HO and those of us who posted without considering she may not have realized the new system in time!

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Admittedly my post was written before I realised this. I read the thread in light of the new system, as I’m sure many of us did, and so the posts may seem a little harsh in this light, which was entirely unintentional on my part and likely several others.

I have every sympathy for the OP and her conundrum, given she was unaware of the change to the review system. As @Colin so accurately put it, the best way to avoid such eventualities is to leave honest reviews.

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There is nothing you can do now. Next time, wait a few days and get the lay of the land and then write your review. As for your dog, just treat him well, and if you are worried maybe call in a pro-trainer, or try socializing him more with other humans so he won’t panic next time you leave. Next time before a sit, try to vet more carefully and realize that many homeowners (like you) may avoid telling hard truths in their reviews, so ask some tough questions – open ended “what if” type questions – on your chat and make sure you are super comfortable with your sitters. (Maybe hide the good liquor!)

You can open a dispute with THS, but I’m not sure what you could prove, but it might mean they’ll watch the sitter more closely.

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The reviews are blind so no chance of a retaliatory review. You could still raise concerns with member services. They may be able to follow up with the sitter.