Real-life practical example (at least several housesits) … we arrive at pet parent property and pet parent quietly confesses that they give pet (often dog) human food and/or allow the pet to ‘pre-wash’ human dinner plates before they get placed in dishwasher. This makes us comfortable.
But we’ve come to respect that pets are housesit are not our pets. No judgement. No argument. Not big deal. We do not say ‘no’ to this request as not dealbreaker to housesit. But, unless clear related medical need (none so far), we will simply replace the uncomfortable pet parent request with a substitute action … in this case, we displace pet parent actions with increased quantity of kibble to provide equivalent calories.
I completely agree with this analysis. I’m willing to deal with the unexpected but I would also hate to have routine requirements sprung up last minute so I try to avoid listings which are inconsistent, unclear or too vague.
Sorry, @Jenny, this probably doesn’t answer your question because I don’t like saying “no” and I tend to prevent situations that would take me by surprise. When I am (it’s only happened once in a sit), I do say “no” but try to offer an alternative. Something like “sorry, I can’t do that, what I could do is…”
I think offering an alternative is a great way to soften a “no” - it’d be great to hear more examples of where this has worked for people! It’s a great way of softly setting boundaries and a bit of compromise.
I just had this issue, and I had no problems with it. The daughter had to move things out of the parents’ home (where I was sitting), and she and her partner were only here for one night. There was no problem whatsoever.
I wasn’t suggesting requests like this should always be refused — every situation is different.
(depending on sleeping arrangements, shared bathrooms, the length of the sit, and the age of the daughter)We wouldn’t refuse a daughter coming home, we’d be happy to move out at short notice if needed.
My point was simply to offer a suggestion for how a sitter could politely but firmly decline if they aren’t comfortable with a request for any reason.
I was asked something after I arrived which made me feel uncomfortable, she wanted me to drive her to the airport the next morning, in my car. I was traveling cross country, so I had to unload before I could fit her luggage in. Red flag. She complained that I used a all purpose cleaner o her furniture. Her furniture tables were plastic. (acrylic) I fully vacuumed, picked up a full garbage bag of dog hair, then said I didn’t sweep and mop the floors. I did clean the floors, not where I didn’t go. So when they ask, leave…
This morning we had a video call with a first time host (in UK) who was planning to speak to another couple later. She asked a couple of questions
Firstly -if we got on well for this short sit would we be available to sit for them over Christmas too? We said No as we always spend the winter in warm countries! She also asked if we could pay them a pre-sit visit. As this would be a 2 hour round trip from the sit we’d be at prior we said No to that too. After checking in with the other host, we were able to offer to drive early enough on the day to have a short in-person handover before they left.
We figured if either issue was a deal breaker she’d choose the other sitters and that would be OK. Its always good to be clear about needs & boundaries but also to be flexible where possible.
I learned a lesson when one homeowner at the end of our video meeting, after we both had agreed to the sit, casually said, “and I will expect you to take me to the airport”. I didn’t say anything, but I was shocked the way she dropped it in the convo and knew it wouldn’t work for me. I really wanted to do the sit and was worried that would be a dealbreaker for her.
So the next day I sent her an overly explanatory message about why I couldn’t do that. She responded “No is always an answer.“ And she had a friend take her.
I don’t think she handled the request properly, but I also learned that some people aren’t as entitled as they may sound and that a simple “no” can work just fine. She turned out to be a lovely person that I had a nice evening with when I arrived for the sit
