This is so funny and also very true … having been a GD Rescuer
HOW TO PREPARE YOUR HOME & FAMILY FOR A GREAT DANE
- Lift a 200 lb bag of wet sand up and down the stairs
- Push a 200 lb bag of wet sand into your car
- Smear hair gel all over your walls and throw it on the ceiling and TV, while you’re at it, smear the lower half of all windows, curtains and glass
- Rub fur and gel into the roof of your vehicle
- At least twice daily, drop that 200 lb bag of wet sand on your bare foot
- Shake balls of fur, mulch, and a bucket of dirt all over your house daily (add water for rainy days)
- Practice repeating “Great Dane”, about 160 pounds…4-6 cups a day…"no, I don’t have a saddle” over and over with a smile
8 ) Volunteer at the zoo to help wash the large animals and clean up their deposits
- Invite your friends over and have them all try to get in the bathroom while you are using it
- Practice telling people that your husband/ boyfriend does NOT beat you, that those bruises are from your dog!
- Take a nice long piece of rubber hose and go around smacking all the coffee mugs off the end-tables and hit any close male where he doesn’t like to be hit and smack your own legs a few times too
- Have someone operate a chain saw at the foot of your bed all night…record this and play it every night close to your ear
- Have your kids, husband, wife, significant other & even friends continuously and randomly lick your face and spit on you
- Practice sitting & on the floor as well as other hard surfaces as you will most likely have no room on your sofa. Your behind needs to toughen up
- Sleep with at least 2 people in your bed because 1 Dane in your bed is equivalent to 2 people that constantly toss, turn and hit you in the head multiple times a night.
Prepare for total unconditional love.