Why would they forget? Sitter and friend take care of the pets together.
@jmccloud Please discuss this before confirming future sitters. Itāll save you some angst.
We are HOs and sitters. When we, as HOs, are having a video chat with a prospective sitter, this is always one of the topics on our list of items to discuss.
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For people who think itās not appropriate for a sitter to ask about this, I just want to point out that this is supposed to be a mutual exchange, itās an exchange of equals. If one side canāt even ask about an adjustment to the agreement, the relationship is not equal.
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Kudos to you. Well done.
For the sake of argument: Kids and teenagers often ābring a friendā to activities, especially those organized by parents. Maybe young adults do it too sometimes, out of habit. But I donāt believe that adults bring a friend ājust like that.ā There must be another reason. And last minute? Yes, something came up at the last minute. Your sitter found out last minute that a friend is coming to town and would love to catch up ā¦ and asked right away for your permission for him/her to spend a night or two at your place ā¦ because your dog cannot be left alone for more than 1 hour (or so). 
@pietkuip My response was more about the sitter requesting to bring a friend, perhaps for the whole duration if the sit, and putting the host on the spot.
I asked for details as it was not completely clear.
If it was just a matter of inviting a good friend over for dinner I would feel OK asking at the last minute, even on-sit if it was a spontaneous idea- like your example of a friend hearing you are in the country.
If I know in advance I would also ask in advance. In all cases Iād be open to the host saying no - but none ever have.
A host might well be open to a dinner but not to an overnight. Staying the whole sit is an enturely different matter.
Try to put yourself in the host shoes.
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I cannot know their mind without asking them.
Unless they put it in the listing. Or in the welcome guide. Or they had brought it up in conversation.
So far, every HO who spoke to me about guests spontaneously has said that guests were ok.
@jmccloud i understand your concern that maybe the friend could distract your sitter away from their primary responsibilities on the sit. Maybe you even feel a little taken advantage of?- a free holiday for the sitters friend. In that case I would understand your wish to āmeetā the sitter. If you like & trust your sitter and express your concerns and can be reassured the friend is a fellow animal lover and will actually be an asset on the sit then it could all work great. Happy sitter happy pets!
I hope it all works out well!
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True. But the irony of it all is that statements like that can be, and are, judged by others. But why talk about others? I myself ignore listings stating āno guests are welcome,ā yet I donāt even bring any guests/friends (so why wake up sleeping bear - odds that someone asks for permission to bring friends are pretty small )
For me it depends, I might apply.
The chance that I would have a guest depends on where I am. High in countries where I have family or friends, low in countries where I donāt speak the language.
So far it has just been coffee and cake on a few occasions in Groningen.
But it seems from the comments, it not unusual for a sitter to bring a guest!
When a sitter is marketing themselves as a Solo traveler, then request for a friend to bit for the 90% of the sit - is called inconsiderate.
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It would be unusual to make the sitter āsignā something. The sitter should not be putting you in a spot by making this last minute request. If everything else about the sitter seems good ā including previous reviews ā you could decide to say yes after seeing some additional bonafides for the extra guest ā linkedin and/or a mention on a work website, or other social media. You could also ask to meet the person via video chat.
You could also say no outright, but the problem is ā What is to prevent the sitter from having the person there anyway? The sitter might also cancel or you might mutually agree to cancelā¦ You could also cancel if you now have a bad feeling about the whole thing.
In any case, you should not do anything you arenāt comfortable with.
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Is that how you see us?
āMarketing themselvesā sounds like a job. Sometimes solo sitters sometimes travel with others ā friends, parents, siblings,partners. The issue to me isnāt that the sitter is asking to bring a guest. This issue is that the sitter is asking to bring a guest a week before the sit and after it has been agreed on. The sitter is asking to change the terms. Thatās big.
If a solo sitter wants to bring a guest, this should be mentioned in the application. If the decision is made after the application but before the sit is confirmed, it should be mentioned before the sit is confirmed. If the friend/partner/parent/sibling idea happens after the sit is confirmed, the sitter should check with the homeowner to make sure it would be okay with the understanding that the sit is still on if itās not.
If I invited my friend Beth in Colorado to visit me for a few days, and she announced a few days before the visit that sheād like to take her new beau Doug. Iād suggest they just get a room and Iāll meet them for dinner.
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@jmccloud - it is not common practice for sitters to bring a guest. Your agreement is with the sitter and it should never be assumed that they can bring family or friends into your home.
Occasionally a sitter may ask but I feel that should be done prior to confirming the sit - not with less than a week to go.
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I have even asked after I arrived on the sit.
For the life of me, I donāt understand why it would be āterribly inconsiderateā to ask. Why it would cause stress. Why HOs would feel awkward.
HOs: Just write it in your listing that you donāt want to get requests. And I will leave you in peace.
Yes I agree with you. As a sitter I would never ask to invite a friend to join me for a new sit.
I have a lot of longterm repeat sits now, so the HOs and I know each other, and theyāve often said Iād be welcome have friends/family to stay. Itās a different thing if youāve never met/had experience of the sitter. I certainly wouldnāt want that in my own home.
It might help if you put in your listing something like āIād rather sitters didnāt invite guests to my homeā. If you have a desirable listing, you will still get applicants and it will avoid this situation in the future. Itās not unusual to see this kind of stipulation in a listing.
Speaking personally, Iām all for clear boundaries on both sides. Itās a relationship, after all.
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Apples and pears. Beth would be coming specifically to visit you and not to take care of your pet, so that you could travel somewhere else without her.
@pietkuip
I donāt understand either why people wouldnāt ask. A question is a question, it can be answered with yes or no. If someone guards their house like a fortress and is suspicious of anyone entering it who hasnāt been thoroughly vetted, I donāt want to pet sit for them or even meet them. I thought this whole concept was about trust, but when I read a lot of posts here, some people feel that it is about being perfect and mind reading and having no needs of your own, as a sitter.
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@jmccloud No, it is not usual (or the norm) for a sitter to bring a guest or bring guests into your home once the sit commences. We are sitters, too, and have never had guests in the home during our sits.
THSās āthird partyā policy touches on this issue, which impacts both HOs and sitters.
Sitters do sometimes have guests, as posts in this thread tell us.
Whether it commonly occurs or not isnāt the issue.
What matters is how you, the homeowner, think and feel about it. Itās your home, your pets.
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