Manners When Rejecting!

So write it in the listing! And then I would know that I need not apply.


I am just wondering if some HOs are not quite understanding the concept of THS that is then leading to ‘automated’ rejections.

I have now seen a couple of these kind of comments on Trustpilot that indicate the HO believes THS is ‘sending’ them suitable applicants for them to choose from.

"Lamia took time and patience to talk us thru the set up procedures and took time to follow up and provide 2 suitable sitters at ‘non obvious ‘ dates .
We’re very impressed with Lamia and her service . "

They select one and confirm without considering that the others are ‘rejected’ directly as THS just sends them applicants to choose from.

Another person on Trustpilot said they were sent 5 applicants by THS to choose from. Clearly they didn’t realise that they just reached the 5 limit quickly.


piekuip- yes I do have that written in my information but I still get sitters that apply

@gloriaas1 I hear you. One can be very clear in the listing – such as a sit not being suitable for children or please do not bring other animals – but we always get applications from families or sitters who travel with pets of their own.

So obviously they’re declined immediately, with a quick note thanking them for their interest, but reminding them what our listing clearly states. :roll_eyes:

We believe that it is prudent for both PS and HO not to burn bridges. For PS to accept declines graciously and HO to reject PS that you might want to use in the future, with a positive message.

We recently applied for a sit and got a curt rejection. A week later, the sit was relisted with same dates. Obviously, we couldnt/wouldn’t apply.

Another time , we acceped a sit and messaged another HO to advise her that although we really wanted her sit, wd had been offered another over the same dates. But when the confirmed sit started to um and arr about departure date and length of sit, we asked her to cancel us- she did- we messaged the other HO, asking could we reapply- we got our dream sit. Shetland Isles!


I feel it is rude to just send an auto decline. Manners do vary be culture and I think even by generation. But, as with all communications, it’s important to consider how that communication will be perceived by it’s recipient. To me, manners are about showing respect to others and when sitters have spent time writing an application it’s just good manners to send a note when declining. That note does not need to provide a reason. It can just be something along the lines of ‘thank you for your application, we’ve decided to go with another sitter for this sit.’

However, if someone has multiple good applicants, that is a great opportunity to make connections with good sitters. Most HOs are not just using the platform once. By sending an auto-decline with no message, they are ignoring an opportunity to connect with sitters for future sits. I received a rejection a couple days ago with a very nice message indicating that a previous sitter was available so they were going with her for that sit, but that they really liked my profile and would love to have me sit in the future. I responded saying I’m in their area frequently and will definitely apply for future dates. That decline resulted in a nice exchange and made it even more likely that I will apply to their future dates.

An auto decline with no message tells me that they are not interested in me ever sitting for them, which is completely fine and I would never apply for future sits with that HO. But I have had a couple times where HOs have reached out to me after the sitter they chose cancelled. If their initial decline did not involve a polite message, my answer is no.


@systaran many hosts don’t realise that the moment they confirm a sitter all the other applicants immediately get an auto decline msg from THS. Ofcourse this does not prevent them from sending a personal decline note as well! But many don’t bother, it seems, which is very discourteous.
I once wrote and complained to the host of a sit we’d really wanted and had made a big effort to apply for. I felt really annoyed to be dismissed so easily. This had happened a few times before but this time it was the last straw! The host wrote back immediately- mortified that we’d received that auto message from THS. She didn’t know about it. She said she actually loved our profile but had chosen someone closer as we were still on the other side of the world at the time. We had a great back & forth dialogue, both learned something new about the site, and promised to stay in touch. About 3 weeks later she wrote inviting us for a 3 week sit several months later. We accepted and it was a wonderful sit!
Its definitely a good idea for hosts to keep the door open to great sitters for future! I too would not sit for someone who’d so casually declined us in the past!


Just out of interest for interests sake, regarding rejection responses, this was the reply my sister received from a sitter that applied to her listing. NOTE… It wasn’t on THS but I have read many times on THS of homeowners receiving similar rude replies. My sister also specifically listed for a couple and the rejected sitter here specifically stated she wasn’t interested in short sits (this one was five days). The reply to the sitter was very kind also and my sister sincerely stated if she was looking for a longer sit going forward, she would be happy to chat again. Everything goes both ways :wink:

Eeek! Great that this sitter was avoided! Reminds me of a rant from “Baby Reindeer” on Netflix if anyone’s seen it!


Well that’s the nail in the coffin then dear Pauline :flushed::rofl::raised_hands:t3: Bullet dodged for your sister @ziggy and yes Baby Reindeer all over @avocadotoast #peopleareweird


Oooh Baby Reindeer like :flushed::flushed::crazy_face:

We were creeped out by Baby Reindeer. :face_with_peeking_eye:


My goodness, what a rude reply. They dodged a bullet there.

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I maybe haven’t had time to read all the responses so if I am repeating what has been said, I apologise. I like to reply to all the applicants I feel I have to reject for whatever reason. However, when you get down to 2 or 3 and you have one you have really chosen you have to make your offer before you reject the last possible few - who might be perfectly fitted. Unfortunately, what happens is as soon as I send my chosen person/s an offer THS automatically sends out a rejection to any I have sitting in my in box. Shame as, what if the chosen person said no for some reason, then I would have no fallback position and I would have like to have contacted the ones I have not gone with. I don’t know how polite or succinct the THS reply is but I hope it is not just a NO.

Not sure if I have been clear on how this works but it is a shame I cannot be left to my own devices to say sorry to those I have not been able to choose.

@frenchlife I may be wrong but when you hit the confirm button to a sitter, the automatic decline email is sent only AFTER the sitter has pressed the agree to sit button. I have explained this to owners and given them time to respond to other applicants before I “agree” which they have appreciated. I’m not sure whether a listing goes into “reviewing applications” when an owner has pressed that confirm button.


@frenchlife I think someone from membership services needs to confirm this…but logic would suggest that the decline message- which reads ‘Sorry (name), you were not chosen this time’ - is sent out only once the chosen sitter has actually confirmed the sit. The sit remains open until someone hits the confirm button. Then the listing will show ‘Currently not in need of a sitter’
What you could do- to spare sensitive sitters feelings!- is to send them a private decline message before they receive the THS auto decline. So what we do sometimes is make the verbal agreement to the sit and suggest the host sends out their decline msg before we officially confirm on the site.