We have a confirmed repeat sit for a lovely old lady cat, starting on Wednesday, so just 4 days from now. This will be our third sit for these PPs and we love the cat, who is 19 years old and has renal problems (has been on a renal diet for some time, and certainly for the two occasions we’ve looked after her over the past year). On Thursday, the PP messaged to inform us that kitty is struggling to use her back legs, can no longer jump onto the sofa - even with a step - and is confused. She has been to the vet, who had ruled out blood clots and neurological issues, and has given an anti-inflammatory injection and painkillers. The PPs have decided to see how she is over the weekend, before deciding whether to continue with their planned month-long trip. We’re aware that inability to walk is a symptom of end stage renal failure. Although unspoken, I’m guessing they are also considering whether her time has come and if they should assist her in leaving this earth.
We have the utmost empathy for their situation but are also considering how this may potentially impact on us. If the kitty potentially improves, it seems highly likely that we might find ourselves dealing with her worsening illness and potential death during the month-long sit. If she does not improve, or the PPs decide to cancel their trip, the clock is ticking for us to find another sit (we are currently sitting full time) and we obviously cannot apply for anything whilst this sit remains confirmed. There has been no mention of us being still able to continue the sit if this sweet cat dies or is put to sleep.
We know the PPs pretty well but don’t want to make things worse for them by asking questions whilst things are so difficult and upsetting. We do, however, have some concerns about what this means for us. So, my question is, who has found themselves in a similar situation, and how did you handle it? This is an unfortunate dilemma, so any other thoughts and ideas should be appreciated. We can self-fund other accommodation if necessary, but would obviously prefer not to.
My neighbour looked after my 20+ cat who had long term renal failure when I was out of the country on holiday many years ago, and my cat died during my holiday. It was sudden, but always a possibility. She took care of the burial in my back garden, which was very kind of her.
It is a difficult situation for you, but I think you have to ask the 2 questions, What should happen if the cat dies?, and will you require me to move out?
I am surprised that the pet owner hasn’t considered this, but understandably they are upset and not thinking straight.
Agreed that you should ask. If you’re not up to that, then you’ll need to be prepared to pay for housing and/or scramble last minute to get another sit(s).
Shortly before a sit ( confirmed 11 months ahead ) PP messaged us that pet’s health had declined since the sit was confirmed, so we arranged a chat with them .
We had a kind chat ( in our case video call ) showing concern ( PP was very distraught) and gently asking about the additional care needed (transpired that the pet now needed help with eating and climbing steps ) we asked what would be their wishes if their pet’s health declined further or if the worst happened during the sit.
At the end of the conversation the PP expressed that it had been helpful to talk things through . Also that through the process of talking it through they had come to the realisation that they needed to make some important decisions - ( cancel holiday or not / EOL care for pet / decide what they want to do if pet died ) which understandably they had been putting off . They also said in talking it through that they realised it would be too much to expect of a sitter to care for their pet whilst so poorly , with the prognosis uncertain but certainly not going to improve.
So I think suggesting a phone call where you gently ask about their wishes about care of the sick cat, what would be their wishes if the cat’s health declines further during the sit or if the cat dies . This is a good starting point to help the PP realise that they need to have plans in place when the inevitable happens ( whether that is before, during or after the sit ) .
I think we need to know what we want to happen here, too. I’m dithering because, I feel the stakes of something bad happening if the sit goes ahead have significantly increased. We’ve previously looked after a little dog who entered end-stage renal failure during the sit and it was heartbreaking, so I know what to expect and would prefer not to potentially have to nurse a very sick cat or deal with her death (however that might occur). But, it does seem insensitive to say that right now.
@Happypets - it’s possible that the PP are not cancelling their holiday because they don’t want to let you down - so have a conversation ( phone call if possible ) asap .
I immediately told them not to worry about us, and to focus on what works best for them. Then realised that actually, we need to know ASAP whether we need to make alternative plans .
I think the way @Silversitters describe how they handled it is both considerate and a good way to clarify the sit, whether it will take place or not. For sure it would help the pet parents collect their thoughts and what they want and need.
I think suggesting a conversation would not necessarily mean you are not letting them focus on what’s best for them, on the contrary, it may help them (and you) figure out the best possible solution.
A friendly chat, focusing on the cat’s health and prognosis, possible steps where you might participate and whether both parties would agree that’s a good arrangement, would probably help bring out a solution.
You were absolutely right, @Silversitters . The PPs did want to cancel the sit due to the uncertainty about their darling cat’s health, and were happy that we proposed that possibility. We have been invited to stay with them until we find another sit. What lovely generosity.
During a few days of each other, we had 2 sits cancel, in both cases they sadly lost an elderly dog, one of them was due to start within 1 week, the other was due to start directly after, ie 3 weeks later.
Within 3 days we managed to fill the whole 9 week period. However, that was is late spring, so obviously there were more people wanting to take holidays, unlike at this time of year.
The one thing that I think helped us, is rather than asking the HO’s to cancel on THS (because obviously they were distraught, and I didn’t want to put extra things on their minds), I directly message @support to explain what had happened and asked them to read the messages between us, and asked them remove/delete the confirmationed sits because I didn’t want to disturb the HO’s in their time of grief, and within around 4 hours they said they totally understood and confirmed they had done what I had asked and cancelled it, and they also explained the HO would receive an automatic message to say things were cancelled too.
I know this doesn’t help you right now, because you don’t know what’s going on right now, but I’m glad I just contacted @support to cancel it, instead of asking the owners to do it, when they had other things naturally on their mind.
@Happypets, what a challenging situation.
+1 for @Silversitters great advice.
Seems that evolving situation.
We’ve experienced several housesits with pets in their later years. Some easy, some definitely sad. One repeat housesit (not THS) was booked for a lovely dog but pet alas passed - Pet Parents reflected and asked that we come anyway as our presence at the property (no other pets, one month sit) gave them comfort.
Finally, as you mention premium membership then encourage that you become familiar with THS Sit Cancellation Insurance. We have successfully used this insurance on one occasion. Policy coverage has quirks and may not apply e.g. if there are alternative housesits in local geography of current housesit. But worth checking as, when policy coverage applies and if you follow permitted terms, then it may be very helpful to you.
I fully understand how you must be feeling @Happypets as twice with elderly cats this has happened to me. Both cats I had cared for previously. The owners were in full communication with me leading up to the sits (like yours are) and made the decision to have their beautiful cats put to sleep. The sits still went ahead as they also had a dog. One of the cats I had looked after either 4 or 5 times and was very attached to her. I had the privilege whilst on that sit to receive her ashes for the owners.
Twelve months ago, we arrived at a sit to discover the elderly Labrador’s back legs were giving way and that he was also having fits. We had not been informed of this. All we were aware of was that he required medication for anxiety, especially if there were storms coming. The house was two storeys and the dog accessed the house from the back stairs. We really should have said no on arrival, but we honoured the sit. It was very stressful for both the dog and us. The night visit out for toileting was so difficult to get him downstairs and, of course, he was frightened too. He was a beautiful dog and not his fault at all. I discussed our experience with the owners on their arrival home and did mention it in the review.
Yours is a long sit compared to mine and you really need to know what happens if/when the puss passes during your time there. You’re travelling and outlaying money to do it which hopefully the owners are taking into account. You must have a good relationship with them where it is a repeat sit so I think you need to be having a conversation to clarify the “what if” situations. Thinking of you as it’s not an easy decision to make.
I’m closing this thread to new replies at the request of the OP as you know we like to leave posts open wherever possible, but this discussion is very specific to OP’s situation and they’re ready to wrap up the conversation.
Thanks to everyone who popped on to give advice and support!