Working as I do in pet bereavement support there are words I hear so often, “I didn’t think it would hurt this much” “No one understands” the following article share will resonate with many of our community as every pet family and pet lover will inevitably experience the pain and heartbreak of losing a pet but there is help and support available, no one needs to go through the grief on their own.
Jill S. Cohen, a family grief counselor, explains how the relationship between an animal and a human can be more fulfilling than a human and a human:
“There is an unconditional love that a pet provides, where often a human relationship does not necessarily provide that. Also, a pet is reliable and has provided the security and stability through the owner’s life which often transcends other relationships. Children may leave home, a spouse may leave or be absent for a period of time. Parents may die. Friendships may drift. But the pet is always there — a source of comfort, a source of continuity in life, of constant companionship, a way for the owner to show love to a living being. A pet also provides a sense of routine for its owner. This may give the owner some consistency in life — feeding, walking, caring for the dog, tending to the pet’s needs. The bond between a human and a pet can sometimes be like none other.”
Thank you Angela, speaking as someone who has been through more pet bereavements in my life than l care to count, from Guinea pigs and ferrets up to shire horses and everything in between, it never gets any easier but I would never be without pets, I have so many years of love and joy from them that it makes the sadness when they go more bearable.
Every time we say goodbye to a cat it is indeed very hard. But we go through it again because the 15-20 years we have with them are filled with affection and wonderful moments.
few days ago I received a grave news from my husband that one of our cats refused to eat and losing energy. He was also vomiting. He was sent to the clinic a day later but no improvement. This morning he bring the cat to another vet, who later come to a conclusion that our cat is in pain, and dying.
I’m alone, crying as I watch from my phone that our cat being put to sleep. Yet next to me are three lively cats, and one actually looks so much alike my beloved cat. I am still confused, heart broken and not sure how to grief.
My little 7 years old niece, Olivia just lost her dear doggy Zira, an 11 years old mix-breed.
Her mom explained to her that Zera was gone to the dog’s paradise. But Olivia insisted she was in a a retired home like her grandma was. And she wrote a word to Zera to be given to her.
( she is a french speaker, who is learning English).
Thank you for sharing this important message about the deep emotional bond that exists between pets and their owners, and the pain and grief that can arise from losing a beloved animal companion. It’s true that the loss of a pet can be just as profound as the loss of a human loved one, and it’s important that people are taken seriously when they grieve the death of a pet. Seeking support from others who understand the unique bond between pets and their owners can be very helpful in the grieving process. Thank you also for providing resources and support for those who may be struggling with pet loss.
@anawilliam850 thank you for commenting in such a thoughtful and insightful way.
I work as a Pet Bereavement Support Volunteer and cannot agree with you more.
Grieving for a pet family member can be a very lonely place.
When a human family member passes away if they are close at hand, friends and family provide support and comfort immediately and for as long as needed.
Pet loss can be such a different experience and that’s not to lay blame or make judgement.
There may be thoughts expressed such as “it was just a dog” plus the expectations for those grieving to “get over it” quickly, either by themselves or others is high and unrealistic. Grief is grief and we all grieve differently.
There is no right or wrong way, just our own way.
We should talk about this more after all every pet parent/owners will go through their own pet loss one day, we all have that in common and we should share the pain and celebrate our pet’s live more than we do.
The pet parent of a dog I’ve sat numerous times over the past few years through TH and really bonded with just let me know he passed away unexpectedly. I am so heartbroken, been crying for days. It didn’t really occur to me until now that as a dogsitter, I am going to suffer the repeated grief of pets’ deaths. He is the first. I am grateful for all those days I spent with that dogger and the 100’s of photos I took of him. You really bond with the pets when you stay alone with them in their home, sometimes for weeks. I’d visit him when I was in that city, even if it wasn’t for a sit because his owners and I became friends and I just loved that dog so much, and I like to think he loved me. In fact, I was going to be seeing them next week. On that note, I’m wondering if there’s anything thoughtful that I can bring them along with a condolence card? Thanks.
Hello @ChristineH I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved friend and how heartbroken you are but I do understand as will many sitter members.
The pet family members we care for become just like our own for the time we are with them, and long afterwards. Often we are with them more than once and I expect you experienced that welcome we enjoy when walking back into their lives again. I know that feeling too, I have returned to many pets and their human families over and over.
Your words are so true .
I have no doubt that he did love you … for the time we are with them they return the love because they know we are there for them.
We become their person but not a replacement as we discover when their humans return … their joy is often off the scale and that’s exactly how it should be. Although I’m sure we secretly hope that some of that tali wagging and joy is ours too. Loving the pets we care for is why we do what we do and do it so well.
We are also privileged because we get to know them in the same way as their families do and because of that I have been able to help support pet parents who become good friends through their grief simply because we connected with their pets in the same way.
From knowing all of their little habits (or big ones) what they liked, didn’t like, their fav toy, walk, food, tummy rubs or not, the need to spell W-A-L-K-I-E-S because saying the word will make them do off the scale zoomies, when to open the fridge quietly and exactly how many times we open and close the garden door.
A card with one of your 100’s of pictures or even frame one for them and write a message from the heart. Anything to celebrate his life and your time together. Knowing you care in his loss and that you cared for him in his life as his friend and sitter will mean more than anything to them.
Our thoughts are with you and his family at this very sad time. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to Direct Message me.
Thank you for your kindness, compassion and sitter love.
It’s never easy losing our beloved pets. What a beautiful note from your little niece.
