Question changing mind after confirming

Is it possible to change your mind after you have confirmed a sitter?


I’m sure it happens but it would be very upsetting for the sitter. Why would you change your mind? Have you confirmed someone without properly considering whether the sitter was a good fit? If you’ve properly read their application, asked lots of questions and got relevant questions back from the sitter, had a video call with them, considered it afterwards before confirming them and used your gut instinct then why would you change your mind?
This question you’ve posed would make me very wary about applying to sit for you tbh


Hi @Lemire can you please give us more context around you changing your mind about the sitter to be better able to answer your question?


@Lemire - could you give us more information on why you have changed your mind? To be honest, I am struggling to think of any situation where it would be acceptable.
Your sitter may have paid for travel /hotels, or already arranged other sits to fit around yours.
Cancelling because of an unexpected emergency - Possibly
Cancelling because you have changed your mind - Never

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Agree with the above. But if they haven’t made travel plans yet and the sit is still far in advance, e.g. 2 months off, then I guess you could discuss a cancellation with your sitter.

I had just confirmed someone and soon after received another application with a lot of reviews which felt more comfortable but will stick with the first person


Good to hear @Lemire as that would not be nice to cancel a sitter for that reason, and it would be a breach of THS rules.


They hadn’t confirmed on their side

Then you are free to look for other sitters until they do. It has to be :100: both sides and good, clear communication for it to work well


@Lemire How did you get another applicant after you’d confirmed someone?

@Lemire Forget my question. Just saw your later comment!


Yes, you should stick with the first person because you were obviously satisfied at the time. You shouldn’t have received another application in the meantime unless perhaps the confirmed sitter hadn’t, at that stage, accepted. (Edit after, I see they hadn’t)
Just because a sitter has more reviews doesn’t mean they’ll be any better than a sitter with fewer. We’ve all had to start without reviews and build them up. I’ll be forever grateful to the HO who selected me when I started this wonderful lifestyle when I had no reviews but a few references.


My first reaction was to go with the majority & agree thats it’s not best practise to cancel a confirmed sitter, this should also work both ways with sitters not cancelling after confirming either.
However, after reading further in your post, you say that the 1st agreed sitter hasn’t confirmed their side & this explains how you were still able to receive further applications.
I do think that you need to check with your this 1st sitter as to why they haven’t confirmed the sit. Its possible that they aren’t aware they need to do this, especially if they are new. On the other hand they may also have changed their minds but not thought to let you know and in this case it would be a shame to miss out on the sitter you seem to prefer.
I think gut feeling says alot & it may work that the 2nd applicant is the one you are drawn to.
Do let us know how you get on.


@Lemire: I kinda agree with @Gina. There’s a big difference between 1) only you confirming a sitter and 2) the sitter confirming back. That’s because sometimes, the sitter doesn’t confirm back.

For many, the sitter’s confirmation should just be a formality, because you both should have gone through all the steps (video call, etc.). I always like to sleep on a final confirm to the PP, but I let them know the timing.

So yes, I’d be frank with the 1st sitter if they still haven’t confirmed, and let them know how you feel, tactfully. Like, “Hi __. I noticed you haven’t confirmed the sit yet. I wonder if we could chat again, because another sitter applied and I would like to consider them as well.”

Again, this is just based on what you said: the 2nd applicant feels more comfortable to you, and the 1st applicant hasn’t confirmed yet.

Conversely, suppose the 1st sitter had confirmed, and then you got a PM or something from a 2nd sitter who you are more comfortable with. Canceling in that case would be … at a minimum … a violation of the TH code of conduct. Moreover, I think many would call it improper. But that’s a different story.



I feel it’s not “official” until the sitter has confirmed by clicking “agree to sit.”

As a sitter once I confirm the sit I advise the HO that’ll be booking flights or trains etc. I usually do this within days of the confirmation and send the HO copies of my flight details. So from my point of view it would be costly at this point to cancel the sit.

My sitter hadn’t confirmed yet and I would never consider cancelling once it was firmed up.