So we have a sitter who is supposed to be staying until the Wed 29th, and she just sent us the following message āaskingā whether she can leave on the Sat 25th instead, due to bad planning.
We havenāt replied to her yet, just wondering what others thoughts would be?
Hello I have a small dilemmaā¦ I just realised I have an important workshop back home in Manchester this Sunday that I had booked a long time ago and its been paid for, which I hadnāt saved in my calendar. I also understand and appreciate ive made a commitment to you and I want to honour that. it would be so helpful to know if leaving a few days early (sat afternoon) is possibleā¦if perhaps the neighbours could feed bluey and speedy? If not, i can try and find a way around it, it would be really helpful if we can figure something out! sorry for this inconvenience!
I guess thereās a few things to consider for you to make an informed decision. They have asked nicely, however itās only a few days away to find cover. You can absolutely say no and thatās that. How far is Manchester from where you are & could they do the workshop as a day trip and you find a daytime solution as a compromise? You could simply say it will cause too much upheaval and stress for the pets & you guys so unfortunately they need to stay and miss the workshop. (You canāt force them but theyāll clearly get a terrible review if they then bail). How inconvenient would it be? Are your pets dogs or cats? Do you think itās genuine or they are pulling a card on you? Difficult to give definitive advice without knowing all the facts but do what makes you comfortable. You donāt have to flex but you do want happy & safe animals. #bestofluck
Thanks so much for your reply. Manchester is 4hr 30 mins drive, or 4hrs by public transport, so not that practical for a day trip.
Our pets are indoor cats, one is an 8 month kitten so needs a bit more attention and play time, so we wouldnāt be happy to just have the neighbours pop in to give food.
Iāll say that we would rather she stays and tries to rearrange her workshop as it would be too inconvenient for her to just disappear 4 days early.
It is asking nicely, and if it was me I would honor that in the sense that I would see if it was possible to work something out. After all, this is a voluntary service and both parties pay membership fees to get mutual matches as equals. Someone could also claim to be ill or other emergency. I do think being honest should get some credit.
Cuttlefish suggest a possible solution, depending on distance and so does the sitter. It seems it is Sunday only (?) but donāt know if that is doable - maybe it is to far away. One question could also be if it is possible for the sitter to ask the workshop if one could be moved to another date, but that might not be possible.
I am sorry youāre in a difficult position.
As @Cuttlefish and @Garfield have said, she has asked nicely and it seems sheās being honest, otherwise she would have invoked some kind of emergency.
It is also true thatās not easy to force someone to stay against their will, even though this lack of organization is their fault.
If I were you, I would refer to their message
and say itās really inconvenient for you as X is too young to be left alone that long, add that it would really be helpful if she could move the seminar or find another solution, perhaps spend just one night outside ?
Ask the petsitter what would be her āwork-aroundā. Maybe she already has a good alternative.
Ask if she can find a reliable replacement herself (f.e. a family member/ friend of hers she trusts, who also maybe already can come on Friday to make the handover better).
Re-list the sit as soon as possible and if someone suitable applies, offer the petsitter to leave after a good handover.
(You have to cancel this pending sit first)
Maybe she can go home Saturday evening late, do the workshop on Sunday and return on Sunday evening late.
Or go home on Sunday morning early, do the workshop and come back Sunday evening late/ Monday morning.
And you will ask neighbours to step in for the Sunday to feed the cats.
Or the petsitter could book a paid sitter for the days left?
I know she does this for free, she asked nicely and it is a 4 hours long trip for her, but since it is her planning that went wrong, it is (also) her responsibility to come with a good solution for the pets and you (and herself).
@Jamesandpie, seems some great ideas from the community.
Iād highlight #4 solution by @1MA ā¦ perhaps this may be just a one-day workaround?
From you post, it seems that housesitter has workshop on Sunday 26th but that the active housesit is scheduled to finish on Wednesday 29th.
Changes to housesits seems a bad development. But it does happen. From both parties. Weāve had two Pet Parents cancel housesits at the last minute, ugh. Sometimes itās a matter of determining best-bad-solution; recognize situation as atypical; and moving forwards.
Perhaps someone (friend, neighbour, family) could cover pet(s) for Sunday and housesitter reasonably minimize time away. Their honesty and proactive offer to āfigure something outā gives hope for a reasonable solution.
This isnāt an emergency. This isnāt an unforeseen change. This is the sitter messing up their schedule. IMO, she should have offered you several options none of which would have involved much work or your changing your plans before she appoached you. The approach should have been to acknowledge and minimize your inconvenience. I donāt see her approach as in the spirit of honesty and cooperation. I see it as kind of guilt tripping you if you force her to miss her event. Her other options would be to try to cancel or get a future credit on the workshop and not even mentioning it. She could have looked for a friend or family member to cover for two days and presented that to you as an option. There are many things she could have chosen to do that wouldnāt have involved making it your problem.
Hi @Jamesandpie. Do you know much about this workshop re title/content? I would be going online to check it out as these often go on a ātourā of an area. You could see if there are alternative dates and locations for the sitter. If she cannot get a refund, she could consider selling/gifting her spot to someone else. Her poor planning really isnāt your responsibility.
All of this involves getting the host to do the work. The sitter is the one who messed up. The host shouldnāt be scrambling to āsolveā the problem. These are things the sitter should be doing.
I am too. But here is the thing, sometimes if wer are ānatural problem-solversā we take on problem-solving to the point of doing someone elseās work for them. The sitter has a dilemna. The sitter realized sheād booked a workshop in 4.5 hours away five days before the end of a sit. Somehow the sitter has made this the hostās problem and the host in scrambling has turned to a whole bunch of probelm-solvers. The host didnāt ask the forum to solve the problem. The host asked for āthoughts.ā My thought is the host shouldnāt have to work this hard to solve the sitterās problem.
I did a sit once where I had to leave for a couple days in the middle. Of course, this was known from the start. It was a 6-week sit and I had a family event that I would need to be gone for a weekend. My host arranged for a friend to fill in for that Fri to Sun and then I returned to finish the sit. Different scenario of course, since I put it at the beginning of my application and said just to decline my app if it wasnāt something that could be worked out. Iāll be returning to sit for them again for their next 6 week trip that starts next month (uninterrupted this time). Sometimes things might not be ideal, but solutions can be found.
It is quite easy to give advice on what others should or shouldnāt have done in the past. Hindsight is often clearest. Maybe you and we are more experienced and more able to think clearly and find options than this sitter - Ā«natural problemsolversĀ» as you say. We are all in the privileged position that we are not the one in a tight spot and can take our time to figure things out before we share our nuggets of golden advice online. It is what it is. The host was asked.
I find the sitterās request quite unreasonable, and I agree that this shouldnāt become your problem as the homeowner. If the workshop is as important as she claims, itās very odd that she managed to completely forget about it, especially since it was pre-paid. To me, this detail feels intentionally emphasized to put pressure on you, making you feel guilty or compelled to accommodate her request.
Ultimately, this situation stems from her poor planning, and itās unfair that she now expects you to adjust your plans to fix her mistake. Her suggestion to involve your neighbors in feeding Bluey and Speedy also shows a lack of responsibility. Thatās not what you agreed to when you entrusted her with the care of your pets. This is a clear violation of the sitterās responsibility, and you shouldnāt have to deal with the consequences of her oversight.
If I were in your position, I would politely but firmly decline her request. By doing so, you make it clear that the commitment she agreed to must be honored. Allowing her to leave early would not only inconvenience you but also set a bad precedent for sitters in general, encouraging similar behavior in the future.
Ultimately, sitters need to understand that a pet sit isnāt a flexible arrangement they can change to suit their needs. Itās a serious responsibility, and they should be fully prepared to follow through on the dates they agreed to.
People are really harsh on here, no one has ever made a mistake. Itās fairly common for HOs to make mistakes on their dates and expect the sitter to accommodate them. Next time an HO needs to change their dates, I will just say thatās too bad, you shouldnāt be so irresponsible.
Obviously the sitter made a mistake and has politely reached out to see if a solution can be found that works for both the sitter and the HO. A sitter canāt make alternate arrangements in a city they donāt live in or know people, so a solution does have to involve the HO. If something can be worked out that would be best. If not, the HO can just say no.
I have a small dilemmaā¦ I just realised I have an important workshop back home in Manchester this Sunday that I had booked a long time ago and its been paid for, which I hadnāt saved in my calendar. I also understand and appreciate ive made a commitment to you and I want to honour that. it would be so helpful to know if leaving a few days early (sat afternoon) is possibleā¦if perhaps the neighbours could feed bluey and speedy? If not, i can try and find a way around it, it would be really helpful if we can figure something out! sorry for this inconvenience! 
It is what it is. The host was asked.