Sitters applying then cancelling or adding 'kids' to the house stay

sounds like tit for tat @kimshady if you’d sent a reply explaining why you weren’t able to do the sit, the owner might learn an invaluable lesson in clear concise communication.

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I could not do that. In my mind, that is seven times worse that declining without a text. Because there you got the information that you needed: no sit. And the system message took care of the niceties.

But you kept someone hanging.

Totally disagree. An automated message is not a “nicety”.
I would probably have written back to the owner in @kimshady 's case, as she had explained why she hadn’t responded. But I don’t think that it’s rude not to respond, after the owner had already said no.

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@kimshady
When thats happened to me, I’ve gone completely the other way and responded with a ridiculously polite message with a decline at the end of it.
Then they didnt reply to that either !

I’ve realised now that some folk just do not know how to communicate well online.

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There are a few points that need addressed in this topic but the most important - politeness costs nothing. Even though a sitter receives an automated rejection it is polite to leave a message thanking them for reading the application and wishing them the best possible experience using THS. Pet parents should follow up any automated message by a personalised one saying sorry but not this time. It doesn’t take long as at the most five people applied.
I apply for all sits that interest me even though the dates are the same or overlapping. I would miss out on some fantastic opportunities if I did them one at a time, waiting for a reply before I applied for the next. Fastest fingers/ decision maker wins and I withdraw from the rest of the sits that conflict with a polite short note.
I have only ever cancelled one confirmed sit because of a tragic family emergency. The house sitter was gracious and we worked together, along with THS, to find a replacement. I don’t think I or anyone else should have to face repercussions because of this. Some serial cancellationers, yes, but if there is a genuine reason, no.

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Wow! Seven times!
I agree with @andrealovesanimals. I don’t think it is worse or rude. The owner did not communicate directly with @kimshady until they needed their help. I think I would have answered politely like @Louise7 but I think it is totally fair to follow the owner’s communication style. People just shouldn’t expect things to work just one way. Their way!

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My ego is not that fragile (as people may have noticed). When someone asks a question (with a apology!), I give a timely response. Maybe by clicking a box, but then they know what they need to know.

I have taken at least one sit where I was second choice, where they asked if I was still available. I really don’t remember if they had declined with a message or not. Why should that bother me?

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It shouldn’t! Not at all! I don’t want you bothered. I have no intention of judging your communication style or other people’s on this forum.

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@Gabba not tit for tat at all. I had no additional commentary to add to that conversation and therefore did not respond. I’d already confirmed a sit in Almaty by the time she reached out to me. Actually her declining my application was the best thing that happened to me if she had offered the sit I might have confirmed and missed out on my Almaty sit that’s been in my favorites since last year.

@pietkuip ”seven times worse” is highly over exaggerated. I did not have any additional commentary to add to that conversation and simply chose not to respond as I’d already accepted a sit in Almaty by the time she reached out to me.

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I have a sit coming up, where it started with one 5 year old dog, to then including a 5 month old large puppy. The sit has changed significantly, but the dates and location worked and then my daughter could not move into her into her campus apt until much later than we expected, so they are letting her stay with me one week out of the two. Which actually makes the sit easier with the puppy. So sometimes the adjustments work out.

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That quite often happens, don’t you find? It’s easy to feel disappointed when you don’t get a sit you particularly want, but then inevitably something comes along which makes for an even nicer sit experience.

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If we were auto-declined without a short message (which we consider rude, given that we’ve taken the time to craft a person-centred application) then the pet parent got back to us after being let down, we’d simply send an auto decline. It’s not tit-for-tat, but about recognising a poor communicator / potentially entitled host, which we definitely try to avoid.

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Absolutely, its happened to me before.
One door closed and many windows of light opened in its place.

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It is the best thing ever in the world of pet sitting. :heart_eyes_cat:

Wow, @Huronbase that is really nice of you to go ahead with a sit after the HO added a puppy!

You surely did not have to, since it was a significant change from the agreement you all agreed to originally.

I hope they know how very lucky they were that you went ahead with the sit. :slight_smile:

Going to sit. Starts in a couple of weeks. I needed to be in LA area for a certain period of time. I got back to back sits that work perfectly for time and location. So I wasn’t going to lose that for a large puppy. And then, when my daughter’s ability to move into her campus housing, changed, they are allowing her to stay, so my daughter can manage the puppy…especially when we go to the beach. My daughter is part fish–professional diver, so she can help me out with the two dogs .

I was going back and forth with someone, she was going to interview me, then declined without the interview. I wrote back, Thank you, I hope your dogs (I named them) will love their sitter. And she wrote back. I am sure they will. Which I thought was rather rude. So the sit looked good, but maybe I escaped. I ended up with a sit, better dates, but instead of one small dog, 2 large ones and 2 cats. So don’t think I got the better sit, but maybe she was an annoying HO.

This thread is entertaining. I keep checking it. But the OP vanished into thin air. We’ll never know if it was a cancellation or just a withdrawal. My money is on withdrawal. I think Sitter no show is going in the same direction except that this one is kept alive and the other one is dying out.
Sometimes this forum feels like a serial drama but then we’re left hanging in the middle of an episode. So much for pulp fiction! :crazy_face:
Fortunately, we seem to be able to develop entertaining side plots. :grinning:

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All these tiresome complaints about rudeness… not answering is rude, responding is rude, some say the silent treatment is appropriate… sigh.

Maybe she thought that your message felt slightly passive aggressive

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