I’m struggling with the ‘five star’ review system. I’d so much rather avoid the stars and just write feedback, but there is no way to do that, and I sense that sitters get offended if they don’t get a five. But the fact is, some sitters are much better than others and it’s hard to separate what you feel about the personalities, from the way they did the job itself. We’ve just had sitters who were competent with the pets, left the house at least superficially tidy and didn’t do anything wrong. They communicated regularly, if not very warmly. But: their manners weren’t great, and they had a sulky teenage son who didn’t speak to us and who didn’t know the words ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ He ignored us when we came back into our own home, and the 2 kids had to be asked to strip their beds. One of the adults broke a champagne glass at our handover dinner, which was fine, that happens, and we waved it away. But they didn’t do what I would do, which is say ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, could I replace that? I feel really bad.’ They just said nothing. They didn’t really thank us properly for leaving them a range of snacks, a large box of chocolates and a bottle of champagne. You can’t help feeling that you don’t want them back, even though they clearly loved the cats and were competent. We absolutely loved some of our sitters and have become friends with them, and we’ve had several back, but I don’t want to see these people again. I felt they were just a bit ill-mannered and insensitive, though I see that that’s just the way they are. When we came in, they were sitting at our table eating snacks, and didn’t jump up to offer to help. How am I supposed to rate this kind of sitter and differentiate them from the lovely people who go the extra mile and really think about how you feel?
I don’t treat the star system as a character or lifestyle review. 5* to me means there was nothing unexpected and the sit was as described. I start removing stars if there’s a significant issue. So I’d remove a star for a poorly behaved pet if I didn’t know in advance, or if the home wasn’t clean on arrival. I don’t expect to like the HOs, if I do it’s a great bonus but doesn’t impact my star ratings at all unless their behaviour or communications impacted my sit experience. Look you never have to see these sitters again, just be truthful and descriptive of their competency so that other HOs have trust in them. Don’t compare them, it’s not a ranking system….
Yes, it doesn’t seem like they deserve to have any stars docked (at least I cannot think of any way to squish a sulky teenager into any of the categories). Thus, you will need to get your meaning across in the written portion of the review. A non-effusive review with descriptors such as they were ‘competent’ (your word) should be sufficient. Also skipping the ‘we would welcome them back’ statement speaks volumes.
I totally understand because as a sitter there are personalities and ways of doing things I find in some PP that are off putting. I don’t take that into account in my review. The review is for pets, accuracy of description, cleanliness, etc. I wouldn’t return but I still gave them 5 stars because they have met 5 stars in each category listed.
This is really helpful - I see that, and of course it’s better to take the emotion out of it. I think I’ll feel calmer about it in a few days.
Agreed and thank you, this is helpful.
I’m taking all this on board. I guess I knew that, but I was venting a bit, as I felt pretty uncomfortable.
The review system doesn’t ask you to rate sitters on a scale of 1 to 5 as to how much you liked them. We’ll all have personal preferences, but best advice is to keep your review objective and consider how well/badly sitters have cared for your home and pets, not whether you’ll be adding them to your Christmas card list.
Selecting a number of stars is compulsory but for most of us what really matters is the wording, so somehow you can “deactivate” the star system by writing a factual review.
Last year, I had a difficult sit and I really didn’t know how to rate it or even the categories because there were contradictory facts in almost all the fields but I knew I had to be honest and factual so I chose 5* but started by saying “this has not been a 5* sit for me” and then wrote a long, factual description of the positive aspects and most of the negative ones.
In your case, I agree with others that there’s no category where you can fairly deduct stars. I have seen some cases of 5* in all categories and a general 4* but you could come across as nitpicky.
I agree that I would not like to welcome people with those manners in my home and if I were in your position, I would give a subtle hint to other HOs. I like @MaggieUU suggestion.
Perhaps you can use the words you used here.
If you give 5* across but just write two lines with that info it will probably be enough. If they sit as a family, HOs will probably put two and two together. In almost every positive review that I have read for families there was some mention of how well behaved the children were and/or how they bonded with the pets. If they are not mentioned at all, it will probably be taken as a sign of some sort of shortcoming.
I know it’s not a personal rating and I understand that you are reviewing the job someone has done. But there’s a world of difference between a charming polite house sitter and one who lacks manners which you can’t express through the star system. If you’re inviting people into your home, these things matter. It’s not just like hiring a window cleaner. We make dinner for our sitters and spend time with them, so the personal interaction is part of the deal, and we make that clear in our advertisements. However, a couple of replies I have had on this forum have helped me understand that it is better to view five stars as a starting point, and that you only subtract stars if something has gone wrong. That’s very helpful to me, as I had been viewing five stars was something you awarded to the best sitter. In fact, I’ve never given fewer than five stars, because I’m too embarrassed to do so, once I’ve met a sitter, and I realise they’re usually doing their best.
I agree with 5 stars but noting some issues with their manners in the review.
You can also mention they had a ‘typical teenager’ and ‘like many kids they needed a gentle reminder to strip the sheets before leaving’.
I can see the struggle as a HO. You have great advice already. As a HO i USED to think that the Cleanliness category would receive a 5* ONLY if the sitter left it AS CLEAN as I handed it over (I use a cleaning lady, I have pretty high cleaning standards). But I NOW have adjusted my mindset after spending time on this forum and been through 6 sitters. The MOST important thing to me is that my pets are cared for per the instructions given, and they made effort to leave the house as they found it. There have been non wiped counters (quartz counters with glittery speckles make it hard to see the smears unless you tilt your heard and have the sun shine right 
), a little grease spatter on the stovetop, a sideways comforter after remaking the bed. All dumb little things that I didnt dock any stars for. Everyone was pleasant and took good care of the pets and house overall and with agreed upon communication. Regarding connecting on a personal level or “liking” the sitters, if you are not conducting video inro chats before choosing sitter, start now. Ask for BOTH sitters to be on the chat, you cant judge the adult sitters by kids so dont worry about them. I can do “freeform” video chats, others cannot. If you can’t, then write down some questions. Here are a few applicable to me to give you examples: I see you have been to Mexico before, how many times and where have you been? Tell me about how you got into gardening? How to you cope with running into loose dogs on a dog walk? We have an alarm system, are you comfy with managing that? We prefer whatsapp as our communication platform during site, can you use that for us?
Video chats are SOOO important IMO. Not everyone uses them but it seems you would benefit from them based on your post. Good luck with the next sit! And overall, I am glad your sit went well by the requirements on paper.
Totally agree. I am a bit OCD in the house, and sitters never leave it the way I would. I generally accept that for the reasons you give ( though I was a bit narked at having to clean one sitter’s hair out of hoover and plughole for several days after the sit!) I ALWAYS do a video chat, with both sitters - we have been using THS now for several years - but the mistake I made this time was to go for a family against my better judgement. We were a bit short of time so I went for it, but of course it’s way harder work - 3 sets of bed linen and towels to wash (including stinky teenagers’) and you’re outnumbered in your own house whereas with another couple, it’s more equal and they’re not focusing so much on their kids, but on your needs. But I do think the star rating is unhelpful for people like us who socialise with our sitters. We have to do this because we have a big place and we need to do a proper handover - plus, we want to know the people who are doing the job. But it’s really awkward ‘scoring’ people you’ve met and had dinner with - so I’d prefer a system where you just leave a review, not ‘stars’. It’s particularly daft if you’re expected to leave 5 stars - this is a problem on sites like Etsy and EBay where you’re supposed to pretend you ‘LOVE’ a cushion cover - or the seller gets downgraded - when in fact you just think it’s OK!
Thanks for this. I just feel so embarrassed doing this - seems nasty when you’ve hosted people - though it is exactly what I think!
This is really helpful, thanks. I will do that - keep it short and not too glowing.
It’s completely understandable. I would have been put off by a sulky teenager who didn’t speak to me too!
Good communication is vital for a successful sit. It’s a mystery to me why, unlike hosts, sitters aren’t rated on their communication.
If you think it would be helpful for future hosts, there’s nothing stopping you from commenting on it—just keep it factual and non-emotional.
I completely relate to that. As a sitter, that’s one of my favourite parts about sitting and it’s wonderful when we chat away as though we were old friends. When this have been special, both HOs and myself have spontaneously mentioned it in our review, which just confirms that it was mutual. When people read the reviews that I have written, they can notice these differences, so even if all were 5*, they can still tell the difference between an OK sit and an excellent one.
I like this idea
And I find such a comment totally acceptable because manners are very important to me. Others might think that you would do better showing more grace. But I can see that you’re really struggling
So just do what feels right for you, other HOs will read between the lines if they do their due diligence.
I’m glad you have realized it doesn’t work like that. There’s no comparison between sitters or HOs. Members are assessed in different categories and globally and the standard set is what have been agreed on by both parties. They don’t have to excell, just keep their part of the agreement.
Agreed. To me, it would be unreasonable to expect strangers from all walks of life, experience, backgrounds, cultures, with different personalities, to automatically match. And then their kids have to match as well? Good grief.
It’s great to be able to connect and build relationships, to hit it off, but that’s icing. The key things are: Are pets well taken care of? Are homes returned in good condition?
Personally, if I know that certain hosts automatically expect that we’d all hit it off and become friends, I’d avoid their sits. How can anyone promise that? That seems super forced and unrealistic. And to give someone stars or not based on that? Yikes.