I was here at the beginning when there was full context. I don’t know why it was moderated but my guess is that the actual OP was too detailed so the owner clearly would have recognized themself and this is why it was changed to the general. Given the actual text that I saw, I don’t think there was any gaslighting going on. There may have been legit languate/culture issues or maybe weirdness from the homeowner. The sitter was annoyed, not sure how to handle it, and anticipating more issues. This involved two people of the same gender, one of whom was oversharing at that point via text as they were away. While leaving the sit might have been one solution, setting a clear boundary seemed like a legit step to try before it would come to that. Not gaslighting.
Hi - another one came through. I just ignored it. Hoping to stay out of it. I posted additional details, and the moderator removed them again. Thanks to everyone here for chiming in!
Oh it’s a cross between a soap opera with the suspense of a murder mystery 
Nope. I said nothing about “overreacting”. I just said that misunderstandings happen all too easily. One person can read a situation differently from another - for example, thinking that a friendship has been created when it hasn’t (and I’ve been on both sides of that one!). It can lead to discomfort and embarrassment on either side. It’s also possible to “over-share”, with no malicious intent at all. (I’ve done that, too!)
Thing is, we’ve been told almost nothing about what actually happened. So there’s not much we can contribute, other than “Hope it gets resolved”.
The mod edited out details. Let’s just say it was “not safe for work”, way outside of appropriate for a non confidential relationship and could be humiliating if neighbors found out. So why tell a sitter? I am not a intimate (romantic relationship) therapist. The person was extremely inappropriate
This thing that occurred well before the sit began is called a red flag…and a reason to cancel the sit while there’s still time for the HO to find another sitter. I’m saying this not to shame you but to point out to that all sitters need to listen to these warnings. Things don’t get better after a red flag. They usually get worse.
No it is not.
It is a sign to resolve it. As cancelling a sit within 14 days of the start causes issues, especially to a responsible person who adheres to policies and manages to resolve matters.
And I am far from irresponsible. Nor would I risk an expensive ticket.
Your suggestion is rash, with little room for appropriate and realistic resolution.
Implying that I don’t listen is insulting at best, and inappropriate for this forum at worst.
Shame has no place on this thread.
Hello everyone,
First, thanks to @GentleSitter for raising this. I can see that @Mark_B recommended reaching out to Membership Services, which is the right move, and I’ll check in with you via DM about this.
A point of clarification, since I know the edits made things confusing… we removed details from the original post to protect the anonymity of everyone involved, including people who aren’t on this forum and can’t speak for themselves. I appreciate that it left later readers debating a situation they couldn’t fully see.
To set a baseline: the original message described conduct that goes beyond friendly small talk, and contacting Membership Services was an appropriate and proportionate step.
On the broader discussion, there are a couple of things I wanted to mention…
It’s always okay to report. A few replies suggested weighing a report against the risk of a bad review. We understand the instinct, but please don’t let review worries stop you from flagging a safety or conduct concern; that’s exactly what Membership Services is for.
When someone shares a concern, lead with support. People can read the same situation differently, but a member telling us they feel uncomfortable or unsafe, particularly mid-sit, alone, deserves the benefit of the doubt. There’s good practical advice in this thread (video chats before confirming, having a backup plan); let’s keep that and avoid any second-guessing.
@DieFledermaus - if your post was moderated, you should have received a DM explaining why. If you can’t see one, drop me a DM, as I’m happy to look into that further for you. 
I’m closing the thread now, but I really want to emphasise for future readers, if something like this happens to you, please report it to Membership Services, and leave a factual review after the sit has ended.
Thanks,
Jenny