Why is your sexual orientation even relevant? You’re going to be house sitting and/or petsitting. Frankly, if I thought it was relevant to the sitter, I’d probably turn them down because their focus is not where I want it–on my house and my animals.
@rosawoodsii Someone’s sexual orientation (or gender identity or many other things) shouldn’t be relevant. However, many people discriminate against others on these grounds, so they judge even if it’s irrelevant.
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To clarify, in response to a few otherwise well-meaning comments, sexual preference/orientation is separate from gender identity.
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Hi Rachel, it is still such a shame you have to actually ask that question but you are obviously a very caring and honest person who respects everyone’s opinion.
As long as you would love my pet and home, I would never have an issue with whatever someone’s choice is in their choice of identifying themselves, religion they are or race/cultural background. I am an LGBTQI+ ally and very supportive of the community.
And, congratulations on your outstanding time in marriage. That’s lovely to hear.
Kind regards Nathalie
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Hi @Nathalie. Welcome to our community here in the forum. Thanks for jumping in to the conversation with your supportive and caring words. You and the many others who’ve written in support of Rachel are what the world needs more of. Thank you for being part of our community!
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My point was, why bring it up to begin with? How would anyone know? When you bring up the subject, you’re making it relevant and it shouldn’t be.
Exactly. Someone who raises the issue raises red flags for me. I want someone to take care of my home and pets, not an activist.
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Homeowners would know they they were a same-s$x (actual word not allowed) couple from the applications. A video chat before confirming might also show that the OP is trans.
I’m a straight, cis-gender, woman who has no experience to compare with what the OP has encountered, but I am sure that she has excellent reasons for her concern.
Also, I don’t think that being an activist and a caring petsitter are mutually exclusive.
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Respectfully, I think people “raise the issue” because they want to know they will be safe and respected. If you haven’t lived life as part of a marginalized population, it’s easy to say “it’s not an issue”, if you have, and have faced discrimination, it’s a reasonable question to ask.
To the original poster, I think in general this is a pretty welcoming community, and I hope you give it at a chance and have a great time! one of the neat things I’ve experienced as a sitter is meeting folks from different walks of life than me that I wouldn’t normally meet, as we all seem to, to some degree, live in our own little bubbles. People will mostly surprise you with their kindness in this community I think. I wish you a wonderful time!
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@rosawoodsii While I agree that a persons gender identity or sexuality has nothing to do with their ability to care for pets or homes, I wonder if you could change the perspective you are looking at this question with and feel grateful that you have not had to discuss such a personal matter. Not everyone is so lucky.
Many people who face discrimination have to take such precautions for their own comfort and safety. Doing does not necessarily make them an “activist”, but your insinuation that it does is a good example of just one of the myriad of micro aggressions many people in the trans community face on a daily basis.
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@rosawoodsii - Not wanting to put yourself in a situation where you may be insulted/abused/attacked does not make you an activist.
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This is a very important subject but let’s all remember to be kind and courteous with our responses to each other. Different perspectives and different cultures can lead to different meanings and sayings.
Per our Community Guidelines Be kind and courteous
We’re all in this space together to create a welcoming environment for both existing and potential members of TrustedHousesitters. We should treat each other with respect. Healthy debate is encouraged however kindness is required - rudeness, personal insults, or judgments will not be permitted. If a member has taken the time to comment on a question, please take the time to thank, acknowledge or reply to them.
We are continuing to receive somewhat stormy post so if this continues we will be forced to close the topic.
First, I am not an activist for any cause. I asked the question to gauge the risks I might face. I am from Colorado and am in a very safe state. I am cautious about less progressive states. Also, I want to visit and sit in other countries. If I travel to Europe or south America, I want to feel safe. I also don’t want to be rejected at the door when I meet the ho. I hope that helps. Look at my profile picture to get a better point of view. I can blend in most places but I am never going to look as good as cis-woman.
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On the button. Why raise the subject, just what has it to do with looking after pets? This person wants to know if she will be safe!!! If anyone goes around advertising traits that some disagree with of course their will , from time to time, be a problem.
*Post moderated to adhere to our Community Guidelines Be kind and courteous
@RachelTG I have been a sitter since October 2021. I have found the HOs I’ve sat for and the community over all to be very open minded . I have this feeling from conversations I’ve had and sometimes I just know. I think you will find plenty of HOs that you will feel comfortable sitting for.
Ann Marie
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Thanks for the comments. I have just completed two on-site pre-visits and both ho’s were very nice to me. I don’t mention my being transgender but I don’t/can’t hide who I am. I do believe that the vast majority of owners will not care. My op was to just get a sense of the best way to handle my situation. I now feel that letting my reviews, interviews and any on-site visits speak for themselves.
Rachel
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