Hello all. I am currently doing a sitting where I’ve been asked an unusual request.
The HOs are on holidays and they asked me to search for some specific items in the house that they would like to lend to a friend for a wedding and take photographs of these.
So I did it.
I am then asked to send some of these items on the post, buy the material for the wrapping and postage.
I am told that I’ll be reimbursed, but I feel quite uncomfortable on this request.
I have been told them to let them know if I think it is not fair for them to ask me and I would like to say a big YES. However, please let me know if there is anything on THS regarding expenses to be anticipated by sitters and/or perhaps you could advise on some diplomatic message that I could send to them?
As far as expenses incurred by a sitter, the terms and conditions do state that should a sitter lay out expenses for pet care or home repair, the host should reimburse them within 14 days.
As far as I know there is nothing that outright prohibits a host asking a sitter to lay out money for anything so if you were looking to point to some aspect of the terms and conditions that you could use as a ‘shield’ for denying their request, that doesn’t seem to be a possibility. There is nothing in the terms and conditions that suggest a sitter would be responsible for covering this sort of cost so in refusing you aren’t breaking any sort of rule.
In your position, I probably would do them this favor, but what sitters consider to be ‘out of bounds’ as far as anything that falls outside the scope of their ‘official’
responsibilities varies among us.
Based on what you are saying here, it sounds like your discomfort specifically stems from worry you will not be reimbursed. So one thing could be saying you are happy to do it if they are able to send you the necessary funds right away.
Or you can outright say you aren’t comfortable doing it, especially since they specifically said to tell them you don’t want to.
But if you are worried that saying you don’t want to help them with this–which it seems like you are-- may influence how they review you (which it shouldn’t) or you are afraid of creating awkwardness between you, it is important to own your choice to do something you would rather not do. I know from reading the forum that sitters have sometimes found themselves in a position where they have done things they really didn’t want to do but were afraid to say no.
And that’s okay…at the end of the day we can do whatever we want for whatever reasons we want. But it is important to take ownership of the choice rather than feel resentful of being put in an uncomfortable position, and being too uncomfortable to speak up.
I’ve sometimes asked for money for emergencies before the owners leave, so that might be worth thinking about in future. Money has also been left for me without my request.
On this occasion how about asking them to forward money to your account, most people do online banking now, that would cover or more than cover the cost? Keep receipts and leave the change for them. I’m sure if they’re decent people they would do that.
I agree with Smiley regarding having them forward money to your account first. I don’t agree with TH policy of sitters even paying for Vet care and homeowner reimbursing. I make sure there is a credit card on file with the Vet. I will not pay anything out of my pocket for their pet care. I would only do this favor for the PP if they put money in my account first, if I had my car with me and the post office was only a few blocks away. My policy is if it wasn’t agreed to before the sit I am not obligated to do it.
Depending how much the packaging and postage I would do it. But as some others have pointed out we all have different thoughts on tasks and expenses.
For example. Every host tells us to eat up any perishables in the refrigerator, use the herbs and spices and most tell us to choose wine or beer from the store. I always message them asking if they want anything left for their return. It’s usually bread and milk but I have had other requests. I would never think about asking for reimbursement for those items. It’s a fair exchange
Thank you @KC1102 I appreciate your honest and transparent view on this matter.
I’d say that if the money was anticipated, it would be a different story and I’d do the favour. However kind of expecting to do it and pay upfront, it could 5 euro it could be 50, it is a matter for principle for me and I wouldn’t do it.
If it was me, I wouldn’t even dare to ask. And as someone mentioned on the same topic, but in a different forum page, there is always a possibility of a friendly neighbour or a relative who could do it and as a matter of fact there is. I don’t know then why I’ve been asked.
For the moment I am just ignoring the request taking the “opportunity” as the pet is feeling a little unwell today and I’d say that there are other priorities at the moment. I’ll see if they come back again on this request.. I’ll probably suggest to organize a courier and I’ll then drop the parcel at some centre.
Another alternative that might be worth considering: In some countries, there are wrap and send services — they come pick up, wrap and send whatever you’ve got. In such a case, the owner could organize everything and pay, and all you’d do is be there for pick up. You could Google for such services and point the hosts to them.
Personally, I’ll do extras if the hosts have shown great hospitality and it’s not a big inconvenience to me. If asked for more than I want to do, I’d just say, unfortunately, I can’t do that. (If there’s an alternative I’d be willing to do, then I frame it as, unfortunately, I can’t do X, but could do X.) Anything I agree to, I own that choice. I wouldn’t do X if I’d resent it after, because that’s part of agency.
I think this cross the line for treating a sitter as a personal assistent. They could probably easily have someone pop over, get the stuff, take photos, spend on their behalf, send it.
It would depend on the other circumstances of your sit whether it is part of a «mutual exchange» and not «treating you as staff».
Have they been very hospitable towards me in other matters is something I would take into account. I have unfortunately experienced being very hospitable to exchange guests, and then seen nothing to what they would do. So I am not more generous than what I would happily do if they don’t hold up their part of the bargain.
I think you are still generous with your time if you say you would be happy to help and send it when you have received :approx.amount:
@Smiley , as I said, some sitters may be on tight budgets, in which case they should say so - personally , I’d be happy to stand it. Its an extremely slim chance of not getting repaid.
You’re in their house, something come up, and they’ve asked you for some help.
Do you not want to help (tell them so they can make another plan), is it too difficult to help (if you can’t get it to a shop to wrap and send - tell them), do you not have the money to help (tell them and ask for some money up front)
Personally I’d wrap the stuff up, ship it, and send them a picture of the receipt for the packaging and postage and the uber and include my paypal address. I have a UPS dropoff 50 steps from me and they sell packaging, and a post office 5 minutes walk away.
If you have to go out and buy the materials, package the goods and then make another trip to the post, it seems like a lot. You could just say you have limited funds and credit and you don’t know if you can cover total expenses.
My nephew had to send some stuff and asked UPS to wrap it and it cost $500. Seriously. It is not cheap for them to do the packaging. It was for work, so he did it, but the CFO was pretty upset that he didn’t do the packaging.