Every time I’ve done a video chat, I’ve landed the sit (except when I’ve withdrawn, because I didn’t trust or like the host).
The pattern tends to be: I don’t ask a bunch of Qs, nor do the hosts. That’s because I’ve already screened for compatibility via the listings and ruled out many hosts — ones who are micromanaging, entitled, think they’re hiring, etc.
I ask only dealbreaker Qs, and only when I think necessary.
I always consider myself an equal to hosts and note in my application that I’m happy to chat and see whether there’s a mutual fit.
Note: I approach that way even with employers who pay me, so why wouldn’t when I’m doing something entirely voluntarily? Why doesn’t everyone? (Some sitters actually think or behave in inferior ways because of what they think are great sits. To me, I don’t compromise on my equality, no matter how great a sit might be. That’s a choice we all get to make. Some people give away their agency and power and are more likely to be taken advantage of.)
My sitter profile also is robust, aimed at addressing hosts’ concerns. I’ve already put myself in their place and answered Qs that haven’t been asked, so there are few things left to ask.
As for overall process: I’ve earned a healthy living via the written word over decades and have done a lot of hiring, so I screen that way better than many. I also can get a good read when I video or phone chat with folks. If I hadn’t figured out how, my livelihood wouldn’t have gone well enough to allow me to comfortably sit via THS.
I’ve also observed power dynamics and human psychology since I was a kid. I’ve put decades of reading and observations to use.
Of course, I continue to learn and observe. That’s a large part of why forums, sitting and traveling are fun.
One key thing that’s been super valuable to me in life: If it’s not life or death, very few things are that important. If so, don’t over invest or over think. Control what you can within reason and let things unfold.
To me, sitting is icing, so I’m not going to sweat it.