I’d like to know what other siters do when they apply for a sit? Would you do a video call before you’re accepted?
I made the mistake of doing just that for a sitter request in Spain. The HO said she’d looked at my profile and said I would be a great fit as we had the same views on pets in the house and keeping houses clean! She told me to look at flights and then asked for a video chat. When we chatted she confirmed that they wanted me and said she would check with her husband and then I could book the flights.
I then received a message saying that she had spoken to another sitter and decided to go with them just because they were interested in the same hobby🤨
Needless to say, I was quite disappointed as I had wasted my time looking at flights just to be let down.
To not even tell me face to face and give such a silly reason is absolutely unbelievable and unacceptable.
This site never ceases to amaze me!!!
Hi @Beetherapy
I can completely understand your disappointment after your video call when you were given the impression you were accepted but the owner obviously hadn’t confirmed you at that stage and is well within her rights to pick someone else, for whatever reason. She probably found it difficult to tell you in a video call that she didn’t think you were the one. You can’t blame the site for that. Think of it that the sit may not have been right for you either and that a better one is in the wings.
I always request a video conversation although have been selected without one before, which is unusual. It really is the best way for owners and sitters to decide whether you’re a good fit for each other and for the sitter to have a glimpse of the house and pets to see if it will be comfortable/suitable.
On with the next application and don’t despair. It’s happened to us all.
Hi @Beetherapy . It’s not the site - it’s the human race! - It is disappointing but as @Smiley says - she had not confirmed so didn’t really do anything wrong.
Luckily, you did all the right things and didn’t book any flights before the sit was officially confirmed so you can give yourself a pat on the back for that.
Hopefully, good Karma will kick in and you will soon find another great sit to take its place.
Thanks very much for the feedback/input. I did actually contact the HO as advised by THS mediator to let her know she hadn’t been open and honest with me as she thought I was in my profile. That’s why she said we were a good fit when speaking to me in the video chat.
She actually apologised saying she thought she had told me she had another applicant to speak with but had obviously got that mixed up with a November sit. She also apologised for upsetting me and said that wasn’t her intention and she would take my comments on board.
I think it is always good to be open and honest with people and it actually works both ways.
I actually think the sit would have been great for us but unfortunately, not to be.
I will definitely use this as a learning curve 
Based on what you wrote here, it sounds like she had pretty much decided to offer you the sit pending confirmation from her husband. That is different than telling someone they sound like a great fit but they are interviewing other people as well…so I understand your frustration about that. But ultimately, if nothing was officially confirmed, the HO reserves the right to change their mind.
We have accepted many sits without doing any sort of interview prior and we have never had an issue with that.
If someone requests to do a call before, we are happy to do that, and for international sits especially, we would actually prefer to connect beforehand rather than just accept straight away since there are more things we would like to know about compared to a domestic sit. In my experience, most owners seem to want to connect beforehand, and that is understandable.
Based on what you wrote, if you are asking whether it is okay to say you don’t do video calls, and want owners to just offer you the sit based on written communication on the platform, you could say that. But I imagine this wouldn’t go over well with most homeowners.
There have been many times where based on what the HO said, I got the impression we were the only people they were considering for the sit, but then once the interview was done, they mentioned they were talking to someone else. I was surprised, but it didn’t bother me, and it isn’t something I asked about, so can’t fault them for that.
Whether or not they are considering other applicants beside us isn’t something that really factors in, unless of course, they were to tell me they weren’t making a decision for at least several days. Then I may be inclined to let them know we would possibly apply for other sits with similar dates–not going to pass up other good opportunities waiting on a sit we may not get. But in these cases, they almost always make a decision within a day or so.
With the exception of a few times, we have always been offered the sit when multiple applicants were being considered.
If knowing whether the HO is interviewing other people besides you is important, that is something you can ask, as for some sitters, they may be inclined to put in applications for other sits with similar dates since they may not get that one.
Like other people have said, this situation has nothing to do with the site. THS definitely offers a lot more than other housesitting sites as far as support,etc… But at the end of the day, they are nothing more than a platform to connect people wanting a service with those willing to offer it.
I dont think that’s a waste of time - I think that’s a good use of time! As a home-owner, I’d like to be sure the sitter can actually get to me and that the timings line up (and if they dont do we then need to adjust the dates to get a fit). I find that easiest to do in a phone/video call.
Nothing is confirmed until it is confirmed!
In my opinion it’s just a waste of time to get upset about someone not choosing you or someone not communicating the way you would like them to. If a sit works out, wonderful. If not, on to the next opportunity!
Kc1102
Thanks for your input and information
I’ve had the same thing happen to me twice. On the video call and chat, HO’s told me my family would be perfect and would love for us to petsit. Then I’m waiting for the confirm sit request and then it doesn’t come. Eventually getting a message that they went with someone else. NEXT!!!
Edited to meet posting guidelines
Hello Beetherapy ~ I completely understand your feeling stung. It is a high stakes game here. One minute, one has a sense of being welcome, wanted, even, with “Roof over head, secure and safe, comforted,” and then, nope!..
(or, for hosts, "Pets sorted with loving, caring, clean sitter, and for some, sitter is a no-show, rarely, but, ugh!). This is all a very big deal; home, beloved animals, and trust.
I am beginning to see how best to care for myself emotionally; I will be gentle with myself and communicate well until I have a confirmation, and then pray all goes smoothly for all concerned. It’s a wiggly world.
For three weeks, as a brand new sitter, I had one “confirmed sit” for 2 weeks,
and another, by host’s invitation, 2 weeks stay. I was a Big Smiling Yes to both.
I was very happy to stay, and then, on the same day, 2 days ago, they both seemed to evaporate. That is one month of Sits gone:
One host profile was “inactive.”
The other host missed two of our Zoom calls, with no notice,
and then cancelled our confirmed sit.
Stung.
One host had invited me 3 weeks ago, because I FAVORITED their profile, and asked me to be patient for our Zoom call (while they had a big party, and then travelled to family). I was happy to wait. I am here to support happy, full and festive lives.
Today, same Host was resurrected; replied and answered my query about her travels, and the reply had no info about our Zoom call I have waited 2 weeks to have. Puzzling, but, again, “full lives”…I understand, and I am going to navigate every step with all my skills employed.
My confirmed sit was cancelled, with a maybe if we can meet up in person, someday, possibly. I am ever-hopeful.
Moving on…big smile at the ready. Someone is going to love us staying!
I wish you well. I am going to relish growing in patience, clear communication, compassion, and trust,
Claire + Lady Tarkina Snowfire, my assistance dog.
Hi @anon84784007 - Do you have any way to contact the home host where the profile has gone to inactive?
This probably means that her membership has run out. In this case the sit it still valid. It may be worth asking THS to check for you.
She has reached out and asked me to wait another week now, after waiting 3 weeks, after she asked me to sit…so, thanks for the insight, Colin. Very helpful; I am waiting for her reply now.
@anon84784007 Hi Claire. Sorry to hear about your sits falling through. As for the woman who you are still waiting to connect with, ultimately you can do whatever you feel comfortable doing. But if that were me, I probably would not consider doing that sit. At the very least, I hope you aren’t passing up the opportunity to apply for other sits whose dates would preclude you from doing this one.
I understand people are busy but when it takes weeks to connect, securing a sitter obviously isn’t a top priority at the moment, and that’s fine. But most sitters like things to move a bit more quickly as they need to plan. An interview call is not some hours long process–in most cases, they may be 30 minutes tops in my experience, rarely longer than that, and often shorter.
When people are new to sitting, I know there can be fears of not getting jobs, attachments to certain locations,etc…and this makes them approach the process differently, leading to a lot of frustrations they ultimately don’t need to deal with, but may not be confident enough yet to know they don’t have to deal with, such as what you are experiencing with this woman.
I remember awhile back I applied for a sit where the woman read our application almost immediately, replied within minutes that we sounded great, yet she didn’t want to schedule an interview until 11 days later. I told her that we can plan to talk then but we would definitely apply for other sits in the meantime if any came up since that was a really long time to wait for an interview.
She then reached out around that time asking if we were still interested, but then didn’t want to schedule a call for another week. I just got a bad vibe and said we weren’t available. Something seemed ‘off’ and I noticed over the next several weeks, she had resposted her listing at least 6 times, meaning after dozens of applicants she still wasn’t finding someone she liked, or perhaps she was losing people like myself, if she was still waiting a really long time to set up interviews. Regardless, seeing that just confirmed my decision to take a pass.
So moral of that story is, if something isn’t coming together smoothly, I take that to mean it’s not the right fit.
I have been doing this for many years, and I have found a combination of honoring my intuition, getting clarity on my preferences and sticking to that, and some trust and faith the right sits will come along so no need to take anything I am not fully excited about, has served me well. I have done dozens of sits and with the exception of a few that were challenging in one respect or another, they have all been really great experiences.
Thank you @KC1102 as always a very measured and balanced perspective, I do have one thing to add, it’s not just sitters who are new to the concept but PP/Owners also, uncertainties and concerns often flow both ways.
No one likes rejection or rejecting, as an owner knowing I could only choose one of the excellent sitters applicants was always difficult. The ability for both sides of the arrangement to take the other view, not personalize or internalize the process and adopt a more pragmatic approach will often help make the journey one of successful, discovery, leading to a fulfilling and rewarding house sitting experience.
Hi @Beetherapy I think it’s perfectly OK for you to feel disappointed, indignant etc. I would have been too!
I think the art is not to get stuck in the negative emotion. My very first house-sit didn’t go at all well and it took me several months to pick myself up and get back in the saddle. After having years of therapy I am much better at accepting my own emotions and moving on. For me this works better than pushing it all away in a so-called pragmatic approach!
Thanks for your reply
Thank you for your very thoughtful and chock-full message.
It helped me write to the person, and be very clear, including my needs and request, and I received a reply that makes it possible to move forward.
Thank you for your caring,
Claire + Tarkina
Based on advice from this forum, we do not accept any sits without a video chat first. The video chat enables us to ensure we have “chemistry” together, and also seeing a live video of the pets and living space helps us understand clearly whether we want the sit or not.
We have also gotten great feedback during chats and then been rejected with no explanation. We try not to take it personally - it’s somewhat like a job interview, and until the homeowner confirms they want us for their sit, we do not book any travel arrangements and we keep looking at other sits too even if they conflict with the dates. Nothing is final until both parties confirm.
Best wishes for getting sits in the future, and it sounds as though you learned some valuable lessons from this experience. Luckily you didn’t lose anything other than time.
This seems to be the best way to operate; stay open to all potential sits, until there is a confirmation. Even with a confirmation, it can go sideways, I just found out.
Wow, I am sorry that you have had such a challenging experience as a new sitter! I agree with all the great comments here. Stay the course, and I am sure that you are on your way to some amazing sits!
As my mother says, “Zebras don’t change their stripes.” It is pretty easy to figure out which people are “all over it,” reliable, responsible. And then there are people who, for whatever reasons, are not as organized. I try to avoid the disorganized people.
One more bit of advice: As soon as you are confirmed as a Sitter, ask the Owner for their home address, their email address, and their phone number. That way, it is easier to communicate. If they refuse to provide these, they better have a good reason!