In the US at least, they don’t seem to actually check the identify of the second person on the profile.
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@Marion That’s a different Q versus how do you spend your workday. The Q about workday is prying into people’s work at a micromanaging level. I’ve managed teams of up to about 100 and don’t even ask about what people do during their workday, because I focus on results. For host purposes, that’s none of their business. And I’m happy to pass on any hosts who ask that.
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They may have bungled the wording but I think they are just trying to get a picture of how much attention their pet/s will be getting from 9-5:00.
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If so, the OP best work on their wording, because how they frame Qs and the tone in which they ask them matter — many sitters pass on sits when hosts come across iffy or untrusting. Plus, this host is looking to check ID as well, which would put off even more potential sitters.
I suspect that’s what happened with the sitter who was vague, given what the OP described.
Why I say that: No sitter would get sits from any hosts, given what the OP shared. Unless the sitter also was new to THS and clueless, it’s very unlikely they would’ve answered as they did.
An experienced sitter would know that answering that way would be a waste of time, because they wouldn’t get the sit. Why bother? That’s why I think the OP asked in a way that led the sitter to blow them off. Not that that’s good, because that kind of behavior would be passive-aggressive.
@Maggie8K the whole wording of what the OP said needs to be taken into context. Prior to the OP’s dubious wording about how the sitter spends their workday, the OP had said they didn’t get very clear answers to some basic questions, and that the sitters said their phone number didn’t work, that’s probably why the OP had to ask about what they spent their work day, because the sitter didn’t seem to give them any answers to basic questions.
This is what the OP said, to put it into context:-
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Yes, seems like a very odd conversation — what sitters think they’ll get any sit with those types of answers? That’s why I wondered about the tone of the conversation.
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We were homeowners and sitters, although quite frankly I never used a TrustedHousesitters sitter when my boy was alive because I already trusted my paid sitter so much.
Now that he has passed we are just sitters.
My opinion: These people are going to be in your home caring for your most precious possessions. If they are offended or don’t want to respond then move on and get somebody that you will feel full confidence in. Would you feel comfortable having someone in your home that you don’t know their last name?
Usually the way something is asked can make a big difference in how people react but as sitters if someone asked us if we mind them knowing what our last names are, or what our occupations are, We would never mind. I would put myself in your place and think that I would never want someone in my home whose last name I didn’t know.
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@Marion I agree with @Maggie8K that “how will you spend your time” is a different question than wanting details about my work schedule and what I do during my workday. I routinely discuss what I plan to do while I’m at a sit as part of a friendly conversation. However, I did have a HO want to know my specific work schedule and was pushy about wanting details about my work. She couldn’t seem to accept that I don’t have ‘required’ work hours. I do my work and do it very well and no one cares what time I work.
If a host wants info about how the sitter will spend their time during the sit, that’s completely fine. How it’s asked matters. Wanting a general sense of what the sitter might be doing is different than wanting work details.
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Welcome to THS @Kena your line of questioning seems more like an interview and could be off putting to sitters. I totally understand your being cautious and mindful of whom you give access to your home and pets but also be mindful that us sitters are just as cautious with whom we share our personal information. My suggestion is to have a video chat with potential sitters you’re interested in and present as a casual conversation (incorporating the questions you’d like to ask) rather than an interview format. I’m an American who has pet / house sat for over a year throughout Europe, Asia, Australia, UAE, North America I’ve never been asked this line of questioning when video chatting for a potential sit. The only time I was asked for ID was in the Philippines - the HO needed to provide a copy to the concierge to add me to their guest list. Also, read the sitter’s profile and reviews throughly. Make sure the sitter has experience that aligns with the level of care needed for your pet. Good luck!
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In this day and age , surnames can be incredibly revealing ! Google, anyone !?!
Another sitter chiming in : Every single q you have posited is acceptable in my book (but some of us don’t have Linked in or other social media presence).
I have this theory about asking people questions about themselves : I believe that anyone can ask anyone else anything - as long as the questions are asked with respect, honesty and actual interest and have merit.
And, I also believe that the respondent can chose to not answer any question asked of them - for any reason or no reason.
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Tangentially, I spent decades working in daily news and we asked all sorts of sensitive and provocative Qs. The skilled folks always got results when asking. The ones lacking such ability typically fell short over and over. And since changing careers years ago, I’ve found that knowing how to ask even about sensitive or provocative things works just as well in different circumstances.
Some folks on this thread keep chiming in to say that X questions are perfectly fine. I suspect that that won’t help the OP, if they keep asking as they did, because HOW they’re asking is likely the problem. Knowing how to frame the right Qs and delivering them in the right tone matter.
Note that there have been various comments from sitters over the years on this forum that have mentioned sitters passing on sits because the potential hosts came across as entitled, micromanaging, untrusting, like they were hiring, etc.
The fact that the OP is nervous, a first-timer, etc., makes it more likely that they don’t know how to ask (versus a sitter refusing to share a bunch of basic info just randomly). If that sitter routinely did that, they’d never get sits.
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I do believe that all opinions are valid and helpful. I think this question
can only be answered by saying how we feel and that is going to be different for different people. @Kena will be able to draw their own conclusions by reading all the different posts and their different perspectives.
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Many people aren’t professionals when it comes to asking questions. I work a lot in research with people, and I also have a degree in this field because it’s not as easy as it seems to phrase questions in a way that ensures they get answered, or even better, to avoid asking questions outright and instead guide a conversation so naturally that the answer is given before the question is even asked. But not everyone has this ability.
For many, it’s difficult to articulate things, even when they are explicitly told how to do it. Early in my career, I found this frustrating until I realized that I first needed to put in the effort to understand my target audience, then break things down further to the specific person in front of me. Information and statements aren’t processed the same way by everyone, even if they are communicated identically.
This makes coexisting in society challenging because most people assume that others perceive information the same way they do. This is why people vote differently, why some excel at certain things while others struggle, and why so many relationship problems exist.
For me, learning how to communicate, and even more importantly, learning how to understand people, remains one of the most essential skills in life.
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I think asking their full name is a bit intrusive as well as ID. THS does some vetting of sitters when you join. I think you will find that it will be based on the person. As for online links, assuming that folks have a Linkedin post is presumptuous. Personally, as a sitter, I insist on a video phone call at least once. That way you can see each other. Hope this helps.
Yup. Plus, everyone has different strengths and ability (or interest) in learning. One of the best question-askers I know is actually an entrepreneur who’s never held a real job, working for anyone else. He’s intensely curious and has a great personality, as well as smarts. I don’t think he even finished college, but he’s sold several businesses.
For THS, the ability to ask Qs well is a huge competitive differentiator, for both hosts and sitters. We’re all trying to make good matches. Plus, everyone is competing for the best sitters, the best hosts, specific locations, etc.
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I don’t know where you are, but here in the UK, if you’re going to be using the H.O’s car, their insurers require a copy of your driving licence. So you have to send it to the HO.
I admit, I was a bit taken-aback first time. But I had no real problem. Now, I don’t even think about it.
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Yes, I do understand and it makes 
percent sense that the drivers licence is required from the sitter in these cases. (I imagine this is required in all countries by insurance companies).
I’ve yet to use a car of an HO and prefer not to due to the reasons stated in my letter.
The problem regardless of the necessity of submitting the copy of the drivers licence is the fact the identity theft/misuse/improper handling and storage are threats that still remain for anyone that has to share their personal identity.
Ask away, whatever you want/need to know. You may not get a reply but at least you have asked for the details you think are necessary and you won’t be forever wondering …l.
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I am surprised by the angst of some sitters over sharing their full identity. THS may have that information but beware that THS will NOT share it with HOs without a court order. Without an identity as a starting place, what options would an HO have in the event of needing to make an insurance claim, report a crime or ??? Of course I don’t expect to need to do any of that but stuff happens.
OTOH, sitters in my home would have no problem poking around a bit and learning my full name and identity, who I bank with, what credit cards I have, whether the IRS considers me an asset or a drain, my Social Security number and so on. In that light, it just seems odd that some sitters are so anxious about sharing their IDs.
Yes THS is based on trust but that trust cuts both ways. I’m trusting you with my house and beloved pets but you don’t trust me to know/berify your full name?
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