Hi
Still quite new to THS and I was just wondering how frequently sitters withdraw their application after a video call? If so, for what reasons and then what reason do you give to HO.
( Thank you to all contributors to the forum- I’ve learnt so much from you all!)
I don’t give a reason, because I’m not obligated to. It doesn’t matter what my reasons are at that point — it could be as vague as I don’t like the feel of things. All I tell the HO is, I’ve considered things and this sit isn’t a good fit for me. Best wishes on finding a great sitter.
Just remember that “no” is a complete answer in many cases in life, without explanation needed. Rarely are you beholden to anyone for your free time. If you made a commitment, sure. But at screening stage, there’s zero commitment in either direction.
Some people feel awkward about saying no without making excuses. It’s good to get comfortable with that.
It’s one thing if you feel like being helpful and sharing your reason(s), but you’re never obligated to give one for refusing a sit offer or withdrawing from screening stage. (That’s versus canceling for no legit reason after accepting a sit, which I consider jerkish behavior.)
If you didn’t feel comfortable after the video call, it is your intuition telling you not to proceed. Intuition is rarely wrong. When it has happened to me, I have just notified the HO the following day that I don’t feel I am the sitter they are looking for and am withdrawing my interest to sit. I always wish them well and assure them that they will have no trouble finding a suitable sitter, I just don’t feel that is me and thank them for their time.
You must remember, you don’t owe anybody anything at this stage and you must do what is right for you, with courtesy to the HO as soon as possible after the video call.
I have been a sitter for approximately 18 months now and recently withdrew my application after a videocall for 2 reasons. First, the dog had a history of being aggressive with other dogs and was larger than I felt comfortable handling. However, the second reason was the clincher: she had a university student that lived in the home (not a separate self-contained unit). I advised the owner of the third party policy and told her that I would be withdrawing my application for these two reasons.
I did it once many many years ago. I was no longer interested because during the video call I found out that the sit required having a helper come over every day to help with feeding/wrangling a approximately 7 indoor cats.
I am very experienced with cats including feral colonies but having to work around someone else’s schedule was not okay with me. I bring my work with me when I travel and have meetings with clients at unusual hours. I just didn’t want to deal with an extra person coming into my routine. I would also have to think about bring fully dressed, having the house pristine everyday etc with a visitor coming into my world.
I chickened out with my reason for withdrawing and said my dates changed. I don’t know why I just didn’t tell the truth. Perhaps at the time I felt inadequate rather than just knowing my needs.
We have withdrawn our application twice out of around 50 sits.
1 - During the call the (2) dogs were constantly jumping all over the home hosts and the home hosts were constantly wiping slobber from the dog’s mouths
2 - During the call the home hosts spent most of the time telling us how disappointed they had been with previous sitters but had “decided that they would give it one last chance”
Totally fine to say “thanks but not the sit for me.” We’ve declined a few sits after video calls. One was because the house was so dirty, another was like a cross examination/interrogation with notes being taken throughout and the third was because the host didn’t ask us a single question, just talked at us. If it’s not a fit then best to say so now and trust your gut.
@MaggieUU did you also report the sit with the student to member services ?
You made a very wise decision in each case there! My alarm bells would’ve also been sounding!!!
Hi Silversitters. In this case, I did not. I suggested that the HO consider asking the university student to care for the dog in exchange for a brief rent reduction. The HO said she would consider this and I never saw the listing go live again. Rest assured, I have reported other third party situations to THS before.
For me I usually have a lot of moving parts between work, visa restrictions, and personal obligations so if I decide I do not want the sit after a video call I usually politely decline and say I have had a change in plans. I always try to let the host know I would be interested in another date if they seem like good people. If I am not interested in ever sitting for them because of something on a video call, I generally keep things vague.
I’ve withdrawn my application after a call a couple times just because they took so long to get back to me and I was offered another sit during that time.
- PP (rabbit) seemed very intense and demanding. I was about to withdraw the next day when she declined.
- A call made it clear that it would be a lovely, but probably isolating sit, and the dates were not set due to their personal situation.
This was previously discussed here:
We’ve had a few occasions, however, we clearly communicate that the video call is not an interview but a conversation where the PP could evaluate if we are a good match for their sit, but also an opportunity for us to decide if the sit is a good fit for us.
Here are just a few memorable examples where we withdrew our application:
- During our video call the PP’s husband was lounging on the back in his underwear and drinking beer. He did not participate in the call and the house looked cluttered and messy.
- PPs informed us that they have already promised the sit to a previous sitter, but wanted us to visit them as friends.
- PPs wife and husband got into an argument if we can arrive and stay with them the night before.
- PP informed us that she will also be bringing her daughter’s cat to the sit ( The sit listed just only 1 cat) and the two cats don’t get along and often fight.
In the 12 months I’ve been a member, I’ve:
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Accepted 11 sits (all positive experiences)
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Had 2 sits cancelled by the PPs because they changed their vacation plans (both were new to THS, which has made me reluctant to apply to sit for new members)
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Declined 1 sit after the video call
For the declined sit, I messaged the PP shortly after our call, thanked her for her time and consideration, and said it wasn’t a good fit for me. I didn’t explain why.
The reasons were that during the call I learned things that weren’t in the post:
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The two dogs barked excessively, to the point of annoying the neighbors.
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The PP was fine with me being away for 4-6 hours as long as I was fine with cleaning up accidents (I wasn’t, at least not as a regular event).
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The dogs had to be walked multiple times a day (no problem) but one of them had to be muzzled because it would go berserk at the sight of skateboards, scooters, squirrels, bicycles etc. If it weren’t muzzled, it would get so frustrated it would bite the dog walker.
Even though the sit was in a place I longed to visit, it was an easy “no thanks.”
Hi @Home
I have withdrawn 3 sit applications after a video chat.
One the lady advised I couldn’t use the heating in December in the UK
Another one asked me to arrive 4 days early and book a costly hotel prior to the sit ‘to get to know one another’
Last one the guy suddenly brought walking the neighbours dog 4 times a day for a hour each time into the sit as well as feeding his 9 cats 5 times a day.
I just advised the HO’s that after thinking about it I didn’t believe I was the right fit for their sit and was therefore withdrawing my application.
Pets with a history of aggression towards humans are not allowed, as per the THS terms and conditions.
Eeeewwww!! The very luckiest of lucky escapes there @BunnyCat!
Yes we have withdrawn after a video call
The owners spoke down to us throughout the call and seemed very distrustful of the whole process. It was clearly not an exchange in their eyes and we were made to feel almost like we were a necessary evil because they wanted a holiday and didn’t have any other choice than to get a sitter.
They also wanted various friends to drop in on the sit throughout the week to check up on us
Once I canceled my application after the video meet.
The couple asked me more questions about my personal life than I felt was necessary. They asked how I spent my free
time . I told them about some of my interests and hobbys but they wanted me to elaborate.
I canceled and said I was no longer available. I felt no need to critique their video meeting style.