How often to you withdraw your application after a video call, based mainly on the owners’ manners?
I just withdrew from a sit that had many great features, but…
I found out that the puppy woke very early (doesn’t sound great in the winter) and, perhaps more importantly, something about the owner rubbed me up the wrong way. Although she was pleasant, she never asked anything about me, and gave me the feeling being an unequal partner.
Am I being too sensitive?!
(I have done over 100 five-star sits, so I guess I’m just getting pickier!)
A lot of people base their decision on whether to accept a sit on feelings and whether you were being ‘too sensitive’ or picking up on something ‘valid’ is not really something that can be easily answered.
The thing about deciding not to do something based on a feeling is that we will never really know if our ‘hunch’ was correct since we didn’t go through with the experience and see how it turned out.
But there are lots of sits out there so no need to say yes to those you don’t feel fully good about. And even if that hunch turned out to be ‘wrong’ sometimes, it really doesn’t matter because of the abundant opportunities.
And as you start tuning into these feelings more in sitting, and in life in general, you may have certain experiences where you receive clear feedback that perhaps you were being 'too sensitive,'etc…and you will be able to discern these sorts of ‘ego feelings’ from true intuition.
And again, no need to worry about getting that perfect since there are so many sits out there so no big deal.
But one thing I will say is that generally speaking–and not about you specifically-- I think sometimes sitters can be a bit oversensitive about certain things when the host probably means no disrespect such as using certain terminology in their listings, the way they phrase certain questions,etc…
But if you truly felt that way then it was probably good to take a pass.
I can only recall one instance where we didn’t accept a sit once we did a video call and it had nothing to do with the hosts. There were just certain things I noticed about the house and dogs that probably would have been challenging for a 2 month sit.
I have been sitting for a decade and rely heavily on gut feeling–combined with lots of clarity about what I want and sticking to it-- and have had a really positive experience. So I definitely recommend letting your feelings be a major guide for the decision process.
I have never withdrawn from a sit after a video call, however I did withdraw from one of my early sits after meeting the owners in person. By the time I got home they confirmed me and I accepted. However, I slept on it and woke up wanting to withdraw. The main reason being that they wanted me to arrive at the house after they’d left for the airport and to leave before they got home!! There was a dog, ducks, geese, chickens. I wasn’t even shown my bedroom and it seemed they didn’t get on with their neighbours. This was a very large house in big grounds. I felt they were treating me like a servant. They had also been unkind to a previous sitter who, on a repeat sit, had to pull out at the last minute to look after her elderly mother who’s carer had a death in the family. I did bring it to the attention of THS at the time. They had plenty of time to find another sitter.
A HO stopped a scheduled video chat to answer a phone call.
A HO’s husband got up in the middle of a video chat.
A HO interrupted me while I was speaking.
I have also asked a HO to cancel a confirmed sit because:
A HO would not respond about my inquiries of sending her Welcome Guide
A HO was dismissive on my informing him that I could not access his address in maps and he had not made flight arrangements for a sit that was to begin within 2 weeks.
Do HOs and Sitters need to become best pals? No. But having a nice rapport and great communication between HOs and sitters can go a long way in establishing a beneficial partnership.
No one can tell you what you feel (sensitive or not)—only you know that.
Generally, I am a people-pleaser, and don’t easily say ‘no’, so perhaps I’m just feeling proud to have exercised a little of that strength.
Had it just been the owner’s manner, I think I would have gone ahead (after all, they won’t be around after a couple of hours), I might have gone ahead with the sit, but that, combined with the early waking (and ‘slightly bitey’) dog sealed the deal for me.
@Rhe
You are welcome. Even if the host had been really friendly, that they mentioned you had to do something during the sit you really would not have wanted to do was reason enough. It is important to honor those preferences. For me, what my day to day experience and comfort will be like is my top priority. It is all too easy to make major compromises on that for a variety of reasons and it just invites the risk of bad experiences.
Thanks, Sharon. I guess if it doesn’t feel right, then it makes sense to move on. There are plenty of sits out there, and who needs stress when there are lots of other options.
Any doubt - don’t confirm until you are ready to.
Video calls are important as it’s the first time you meet face to face. You either click or you don’t. I know it’s the pets we are concerned with but if there is no connection with the host it won’t work.
I’ve recently withdrew my application after a video call. Which I’ve never done before. Usually the HO is the one that rejects after a video call aka chooses someone else. For the first time I’ve withdrew because the call was weird. The owner never really answered my questions that I sent before the call and kept talking long about unimportant things. They also seemed to not trust me at all during the call and asked for ID. Wanted more info on me since they’ll be leaving there car. I told the owner I wouldn’t be using there car at all. The person also wanted to meet a couple times beforehand which I didn’t really feel comfortable with, the vibe through out the call was odd. Not sure how to explain, it wasn’t horrible but didn’t feel right
always always always follow your gut. could you end up being wrong? sure. but that’s better than ignoring it and ending up being right. it doesn’t have to be logical to anyone/thing but your gut.
The question I would ask myself regarding a bad gut feeling is
Will i be more likely to
kick myself because I was wrong and passed on a great sit, or
kick myself for ignoring my gut feeling and finding myself on a horrible sit?
As I sit to have a good time, I need to risk missing out rather than have a horrible time. It is just not worth it.
You have a wealth of experience as a sitter @Rhe and have trusted your gut on this one. Don’t waste any more time on it as there’s a lovely one coming up in its place.
We’ve also withdrawn twice after video calls. Once the house was grim, the host sat on an unmade bed covered in cat hair talking to us about how we would manage the Spanish cleaning lady and nothing more?! Second, a drill like “interview” of questions with various scenarios from a panel of wife, husband and a grown child peppered at us to be scored on. #cheerybyetothose
I haven’t withdrawn my application after a video call but only because I’m a bit of a people-pleaser. However, I have withdrawn an application when the HO moved the time of the video call half an hour before it was due to start and when the call had only been scheduled that morning and I had organised my day around the original call time. It struck me that she wasn’t treating me with respect and that attitude was only likely to persist. I think it’s important to trust your gut and if you don’t feel good about a sit then don’t take it. Something better will come along. Oh and it’s okay to be sensitive - that’s just how some of us are.
• Host turned out to not have firm dates, despite not indicating that in her listing for Bath, U.K. Nope.
• Hosts turned out to want their grown son to be able to visit their dog. Said he had a key to the home in Bellevue, Washington. Also mentioned during our video call that their dog sometimes needed letting out overnight and didn’t sleep reliably. NO WAY.
• Hosts shared their welcome guide immediately after our call and mutual acceptance. WG then revealed that one dog needed letting out overnight and the other was prone to diarrhea. This was in Portland, Oregon. When I said I wouldn’t be able to do the sit, given those dealbreakers, they tried telling me that that was old info and the dog no longer needed letting out at night. Nope, nope, nope.
• Host updated me months after we agreed on a sit and said their grown son had moved back to town and would be overlapping my sit in the Houston, Texas, area. Tried to talk me into being OK with it. NOPE.
I am used to couchsurfing, BeWelcome etc and there it is exceedingly rare to have video calls. So that is where you are living with them in the same house, have meals together, maybe go out together.
I had a request last night, perfectly written, lovely profile and enthusiastic reviews, interesting person. I would have accepted right away if I had not been away from home.
(Of course, because I am there, I can also ask them to leave if they would turn out to be obnoxious.)
In THS, I don’t find the “clicking” very important - one does not spend much time with the humans. But the chat is useful to learn more about the pets.
No, you’re not being too sensitive! Usually it’s their profile I typically feel connected to first, a video or messaging just re-confirms that good feeling, We’ve only done 30+ sits, so nowhere near your 100+ but if I didn’t have a good feeling about someone we wouldn’t sit for them, fortunately we’ve had amazing pet owners.
If I had a bad feeling about someone even on say the bus or subway, I’d get away from them. With sitting, there’s even less reason to partner with someone with a bad vibe.
Why that’s important: Various things can go wrong with any sit. If things went sideways, a sitter’s best odds of working things out with the host is if they have a good vibe. If not, you might easily end up dealing with needless grief.
To me, there’s no reason to take that chance when sitting is voluntary and is meant to be beneficial — not leave you with a bad taste.
Go with your gut - which is really your brain working hard in the background and sending back warning signals.
We have sat for all kinds of people, pets, homes.
NUMBER ONE for us now is our rapport with the HO.
If we don’t feel good about them during a video call, we remove our application.
Because the two times we felt “iffy” but went forward? We shouldn’t have gone forward.
Since those two incidents, we’ve have removed two applications following a not-good-feeling Video Chat.