I get declined after every video call - I am frustrated

Good morning! I am a sitter on THS for about 3 years and have so far got 17 5-star reviews. Lately I applied for many sits and had quite a lot of video calls - but i got declined every single time after the video call. Most of the time they just say “we decided to go with another sitter this time.”

I can’t help but feel frustrated and questioning what is wrong with me. What also bothers me is that a few times the HO didn’t even ask any questions - like - why did you want to video call if you don’t have any questions for me? I am not the type of person who just does a presentation about myself when I am not asked. I am a more introverted person, so I am not good in “selling” myself, i guess that’s one of the reasons… Can anyone relate?


Don’t give up hope. We are only occasional sitters by choice and have only ever had two video calls, so i would say most home owners don’t look at this as essential, and dont even request a video call.
Your seventeen five star reviews should speak for itself.

And nothing wrong with being an introvert either.

Good luck


It’s not really about what’s wrong with you but possibly it’s about putting more attention to applying to HOs where there’s an obvious fit/connection maybe? You say you’ve applied to lots recently, have you got more of an ‘all in’ approach than before? Are you taking time to carefully select the right sit for you? I’m only speculating here to be helpful.


What do you mean by “fit”? I apply to sits in attractive locations, with pets I like - what else has to be a fit? I don’t apply as the new best friend of the home owner…


That’s sounds as though it is you that is asking for the video chat, if that’s correct, then why video at all if you feel it is going against you? We typically leave it up to the HO to ask to video, unless there’s a particular reason we want to video chat. We put it in our message that we’re happy to video chat but we don’t always do it unless the pet owner asks to.


no i think you got me wrong - i don’t ask for a video call but i will do it when the home owner asks for it, and most home owners do. But i had the experience that they HO wants a video call but then doesn’t ask me any questions, as if they would expect me to give a “presentation” about myself. I mean - sorry but this is not a job interview…


Well it isn’t a “job interview” but you ARE looking at living in someone’s home and caring for someone’s loved pets so it kinda does sound like an interview when it’s happening sometimes, don’t take it personally. Maybe therein lies the problem here? :thinking:

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@lalalein94 Since you have been successful with video calls in the past and have 17 five star reviews, you must be doing many things right. Has anything changed recently in your approach to sitting that might explain your recent declines? For example, are you now applying for sits in different countries or highly sought-after locations? We all get declined at some point, especially if we are seeking highly competitive sits. Don’t take it personally. The advice given about trying to find a way to connect with the home host is good.


Yes but at the same time they look for a “free” sitter for their pets, so if the HO act like i they are interviewing for a middle management position, and interview 7 different people, it feels like over the top, at least for me…

Hm, i just increased the number of applications immensly, as I am more flexible now with my job… And yes i guess most of the sits I apply for are also attractive for other sitters… I guess I just come across unlikeable on the video somehow du to my rather shy personality…

I think your attitude sounds not in keeping with the ethos of THS which could be the problem. It’s a mutual exchange of benefits not “free” for either party. You certainly don’t come across here as shy so maybe you aren’t coming across on video chats that way either. You have asked for advice so I am giving mine so please don’t take it as anything else - advice. We all have different perspectives and personalities on the forum.


of course it’s a mutual exchange of benefits! and i take my responsibility seriously, I care very good for each pet! But anyway, I just wanted to check in with other sitters, and how they take “rejection”…

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I guess the only way to handle rejection is to just keep on trying. Nobody ever knows why a sitter is rejected or a homeowner for that matter, very very few will ever say why. Usually it’s just along the lines of “we decided to go with another sitter” but who knows the actual reason. You just have to try to not take it personally, again, though I know rejection can be very demoralising sometimes.

Try to go over all the rejections and think about what you may have been able to do or say differently, then keep on trying, and trying, because eventually it will all happen again. You will just “click” and you’ll be fine.

But yes, rejection is really hard at times but you just have to put on your big girl pants and move forward to the next possibility.


No easy answer to this because people can be driven by so many things. In terms of the video call. No need for silence. If the HO isn’t peppering you with questions just ask your own. Focus on the pets care, any idiocies with the home etc etc. That will show them you are organised and caring. Good luck.

Well if it’s not you asking for the video chat, then maybe you are expecting to be turned down. I’m shy and I’ve never been able to do small talk, but I’m okay chatting 121 with HO’s about things whereby I am very confident in my abilities, ie love of animals and property know-how. So why don’t you try thinking of 3 or 4 things that you feel particularly confident in linked to homes, pets, or why you want to sit, and see if you can somehow insert those into your video chats if the conversation flows that way, that way you’ll naturally relax and naturally ooze more confidence and assurance.

I think all an owner really wants to get out of a video chat is the feeling that they know-know you, because they’d already decided your profile looked good on paper, so personally I’d make sure they know the basic facts about you again, like what you do for income, and why you are pet sitting.


If you want sits, there’s always an element of selling yourself. Try to put yourself in the place of a host and imagine what would help give them confidence that they’d be leaving their home and pets with someone trustworthy and kind. It’s not a presentation. It’s a conversation. And plenty of introverts can manage those.

One of the things that you might consider: It sounds like you’re going into these conversations expecting the host to make the primary efforts. But the success of any conversations in life require both parties to be engaged. It’s like playing tennis — there has to be equal return or it’s going to suck.

And if you’re already frustrated and your expectations for the other party and yourself aren’t realistic or you feel put upon, it’s likely to show when you communicate. If you don’t show curiosity (like with your own questions) or enthusiasm, doing video chats or phone calls are unlikely to turn out well, because you’re competing against other sitters.


My definition of ‘fit’ is that it’s an intangible feeling between people that’s created by observing and responding to micro signals in what is said how it is said and the associated body language too. If there’s a ‘fit’ it leads to a warm feeling of being on the same wavelength, this is an important safety net in case of any emergencies where trust/communication/action is required at arms length during the sit.
Another thing not much spoken about is where you sit for the video chat- HOs are looking at the space around/behind you, is it messy, cluttered, weird? You will help yourself a lot if you stage manage what they see… it’s a small thing but it’s all about Marketing yourself if it’s a popular location with appealing pets.


I don’t do that either. But I try to make some notes before a video chat about things that are not clear from the listing, like where do the pets sleep, how long they can be left alone for, etc. And with the names of the HO, of the location and of the pets. And their genders (I think once the reason for decline was that I had the wrong pronoun of the pet). Also arrival times, departure times. So then I have something to talk about, and it creates the impression that I am prepared and proactive.

Most of the chats were quite short. And I have accepted quite a few without any chat at all.


I’m a bit surprised by your comment here because it gives the impression that you are only taking into consideration your side of the interaction. The HO’s have to feel a connection with you too, have to sense that you are a good fit for them. After all, they are entrusting their house, prized possessions, and loved pets to a complete stranger. So, yes, you have to sell yourself, otherwise, why would they choose you and not another person?

I like the suggestion that other people have given you to make a short list of questions which can also help to make the conversation flow.

Rejection is not easy, and we have all been declined, but don’t take it personally.
Onward you go!


Being introverted and/or shy is very different when writing something (an application or on the forum) than in person. People who are not introverted or shy may not understand this.
I suggest that you practice, especially how you start the conversation. For example " Thank you so much for suggesting that we meet in a video call. I’m pleased to meet you and hear any further questions that I can answer for you. … I don’t have any specific questions for you as I feel you covered them well in your posting…or… At the moment, I think I only have one question for you".
Obviously these are just examples, but you can practice with a friend or just set up your cell phone to video and practice a few pretend conversations and then listen back to them yourself.
As an owner, I’ve never gone out of my way to have a video call, but it’s something that I am considering now. Doing after having someone show up at the house who was not as I expected. Things ended out working out but I was actually not sure I would be able to leave my dog with the person because physically he was not as represented. I mention this just as an example of why people may want to do a video call.