Hi, I have had two applications for our sit and had responded to both. Because of personal circumstances I was unable to follow up with both immediately, but did message both. One person was relatively local to us and I suggested we meet up or the sitter come and visit sometime before the sit. She didn’t respond to that but withdrew the application. Of course that could have been for a number of reasons. I would like to acknowledge her withdrawal - is it acceptable to ask if it was anything about the sit or my suggestion we meet beforehand that deterred her?
We’re sitters, the most likely reason she withdrew is because she got offered a sit elsewhere, and because they may have responded speedily she possibly felt more in aligned with the others.
I prefer owners that respond quickly, not necessarily accepting our application, just acknowledging some details within our profile, and asking questions and/or giving us more details etc.
You can reach out to her if you like, but personally I’d move on, you weren’t a good fit on this occasion. It’s an energy thing, focus on the sitters you want, not the ones that you don’t want or don’t match up with.
When I withdraw an application, I always write a message at the same time with a brief note to say why I’d withdrawn, but not all sitters do.
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I’ve read on here that at least one sitter will withdraw her application if she isn’t confirmed for a sit within 24 hours.
Some people have unreasonable expectations and don’t get why a host might want to have a face to face meeting before accepting them.
Sitters often complain when hosts decline them with no message yet it’s ok for them to withdraw an application without a message that wasted the hosts time and filled a slot in the que.
Acknowledge your comments but if a Sitter withdraws their application, surely the ‘space’ opens up again so not to compromise the 5 Applicant rule??
Not if the maximum number of applicants is reached, and that happens whenever we list dates, often within an hour.
This will depend on the number of applicants. If there are only 4 or less then withdrawing an application, or declining a sitter, will automatically open up a space.
However if the listing has reached 5 apps then THS places an automatic pause on it and the sit goes into ‘reviewing’ status. In that case the HO needs to decline one or more applications and manually ‘unpause’ the listing to open it up again. If a sitter withdraws their application, while the sit is ‘reviewing’, the HO still needs to unpause to open up that space.
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You can ask. You might not get a response. I’m going to guess that the suggestion for a meet up prior to a confirmation might have been enough to cause a withdrawal. Sitters might have you location because they are local, or they might have your location aspirationally because it is where they are looking for a sit, but noboday is that interested in meeting prior to a confirmation even if the sit is local. Some sitters might do this if they are pretty sure you are going to confirm them and this is a “high value” sit that they’d really love, but honestly it isn’t the usual.
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Honestly all these posts about a need for some explanation or hand holding with a decline or now a withdraw.
I think this says more about the party needing some explanation.
Fully formed human adults should understand that no is a complete sentence. No one is required to explain the logic behind their no. No means no.
I decline with a polite thanks for the application but we went a different direction. Only exceptions are if we get applicants that are families or sitters wanting to bring their pets (both are a no-no in our listing) so then I decline and refer them to our listing.
Really just move on from a decline or withdraw. This is not the place to seek whatever validation your looking for.
And for those saying it’s just impolite, yes it is. This is the year 2026 and the Internet has been around for awhile. Don’t look for politeness online.
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@Annetarctica your request for a meet up, or for her to come over before the sit, might well have put her off. (But it may also be unconnected!) However It’s rare to meet in person before confirming a sit. After all the sitter might be risking time and money if ultimately not chosen. Going forwards I’d suggest you invite your first choice applicant for a video call and get a feel for each other that way. That may or may not lead to a personal visit if you still feel its necessary (and if they are willing!)
We have only twice (in 7 years sitting) had a face to face meeting before confirming a sit. The first time, about 5 years ago, was a 200km round trip which we had (fortunately!) combined with a pre sit visit to another, already confirmed, sit nearby. The HO took an hour of our time, enthusiastically showing us everything, but when we suggested confirming the sit they said they had another couple coming to visit and would let us know!! Major let down. We were annoyed by their lack of transparency and withdrew our application. We swore never to do another pre sit visit unless the sit was already confirmed.
The only other time was very recently, here in Perth, where we currently are. Applied for a sit with first timers about 80km up the coast. They requested a face to face- I.e for us to visit them and the dog at home. As this sit was for 3 weeks and perfectly fitted our travel schedule, and we had a car, we decided to make an exception. We explained our usual reluctance but that we’d be willing to make an exception if we were their clear first choice, so as not to waste our time or theirs. They assured us we were the only sitters they were considering. So we went, got on well and confirmed the sit. They said they were ‘old school’ and did not like video calls. It also turned out their travel timings meant there will be no personal handover at the beginning of the sit and (maybe) not at the end either. So we did the whole “handover” at the time of that meeting and have WG back up. So in the end it was all worth it.
Re- asking the sitter why she withdrew her application… Since she was impolite enough to withdraw without comment I would not bother. She’ll probably ignore you. We withdrew from a sit yesterday after a bit of contact. We’d asked loads of questions in our application. The HO answered quickly and fully with extra pics. The new info confirmed our niggle that this sit may not work for us so we thanked her for her interest in us and politely withdrew with a simple excuse (did not want to offend in any way). She thanked us but also asked us if it was something she’d said?! I was happy to reassure it was not! & not to take it personally (I just didn’t feel like explaining our reasons in detail.) Sometimes its best to keep things simple.
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So there was a lag and then a request to meet. If I were the sitter, I’d write off the sit, figuring that it could end up as a messy sit, maybe with an entitled host. I would send a note declining, without explaining, because I wouldn’t feel obliged to.
As a sitter I always send a message first and then decline the invitation.
In the past if I did them both at the same time sometimes the message didn’t go through.
If their message is personalised and friendly then I respond in a similar manner.
If it is a general cut and paste job to everyone I keep it brief.
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“but noboday is that interested in meeting prior to a confirmation even if the sit is local.”
@Marion Perhaps I am the exception to the rule, but one of the reasons I sit locally is in order to meet perspective hosts before agreeing to a sit. But I have had my own cat-sitting business for almost 30 years and this is normal for me: Meet and greet, then decide if it’s a go.