Being REALLY you on the forum

We recently had a lovely HO invite us to a sit, apparently solely based on our “many sensible comments” she’d observed here on the forum that led her to our profile. How nice is that?! An idyllic sit too, with surrounding vineyards, a gorgeous chocolate Labrador, a beautiful home & an engaging host, all in a fab location. Sadly, we were already booked but the moral of the story? Be you on here. Really you. Because what you write here reflects on what the community think of you and how good or bad a sitter or host you would be. It can also bring great opportunities you never knew were out there. #hopingforthosevineyardsoneday :heart:

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I’ve always thought that this Forum plus the unofficial FB group build your reputation over time and show your character/ethics/values. Even if a HO doesn’t agree with all of a Sitter’s opinions on all topics- they can also see how the sitter manages differences of opinion with respectful replies.

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Very wise words @Cuttlefish. What a pity you were unable to do this sit but hopefully there’ll be another opportunity.

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@Cuttlefish, I bow to you oh wise one :student::pray::grin:

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@BonnyinBrighton sometimes :rofl:

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The forum is definitely helping me build a list of homeowner users I will certainly never sit for, that’s for sure.

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@Cuttlefish I have my forum username shown early on in my sitter profile. I stand by all I say on the forum. Those owners who then take the time to look at the forum and my comments are happy to select me :slightly_smiling_face:

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I need a high five :raised_hands:t3: for you @Snowbird. I know you to always be wise countenance on here!

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@Cuttlefish

I agree, we have been delighted to have recieved 3 invites directly from home hosts using this group ( 1 couldn’t do, 1 completed, 1 still to do)

Its extremely flattering to have been chosen on their impression of us purely gained from reading our input on the forum.

:heart:

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I’ve received sit offers based on forum and Facebook group posts, but haven’t accepted any. I did do a sit where one of my hosts mentioned having read my forum comments. I hadn’t connected them to the group till they mentioned it. Our sit went well and they said they’d welcome me back.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and have no problem with that. If there are hosts who read my comments and decline me based on that, that’s also a good outcome, IMO.

I strongly believe in always being yourself, because it’s psychologically healthier to not be a fraud — whether anyone else knows, you know. I also recommend that people do that even while dating or doing job interviews, situations when folks are often tempted to put on their best behavior or to front. Why: You’re much more likely to get a good match, and if not, they weren’t right for you anyway, so why waste anyone’s time? Bait and switch by contrast is likely to not end well and how long can you fake things?

For better or worse, my husband knew exactly who I was from early on, when we started dating three decades+ ago. We’ve done well together.

With job interviews, I’m also direct, push back, ask hard questions and such. I don’t try to hide any rough edges. So far, that’s led to great relationships with bosses over decades — I’ve stayed friendly with them long after switching jobs and they’ve continued to help me. I figure if anyone hated or disliked and didn’t hire the real me, it’s better we all know that upfront.

I push from the outset, because inevitably there will be tough situations, problems and disagreements during marriage and work. The better matched you are, the better your odds of working things through without needless grief.

Sitting is similar — serious stuff can go wrong — so the better matched the sitter and host are, the better for everyone, including the pets.

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I have learned a ton from your posts @Maggie8K and hope to meet you someday. I find your candor to be so refreshing!

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@Cuttlefish I guess there’s no hope for me then, unless someone likes straightforward, direct and sometimes argumentative and usually stands up for the underdog. They love me in Oz though for those traits :rofl: Love you mate :heartbeat:

@Colin you are chosen surely on your dry humour skills, you are my kinda people :disguised_face::rofl:

@Snowbird you were my inspiration from day one on the Forum, so diplomatic in all your words, a true inspiration to all :pray:

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I need a whoop whoop :raised_hands:t3::raised_hands:t3::raised_hands:t3::raised_hands:t3: emoji @ziggy - plenty of love :heart: on here. Often asked if I’m part Ozzie so that says a lot I reckon. Love you too buddy, now get to Turkey :tr: pronto!! :hugs:

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Me too, and also a list of sitters that will be declined if they ever apply to my listing!

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This 100%. I will emphatically always do the morally just thing and will call out mindless folks who mistreat, lie, deceive, and abuse those who provide a service. Some folks simply don’t like taking accountability for themselves or their actions.

It’s the reason I love contract work because you don’t have to deal with ding-dongs managing you and able to actually recoup your own worth.

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100% agree. I am not everyone’s cup of tea either and often disagree with forum posts. If someone reads that and doesn’t want me as a sitter as a result, it’s better for me and better for them too.

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Fortunately, I’ve been able to pick whom I work with. With strong teams, the sum is greater than the parts.

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@Cuttlefish totally agree. As a relatively new HO to THS, I confess I was very nervous before our first sit BECAUSE of some of the stuff I’d read on the forum! (To the point I started to question our decision to sign up) There were a couple whose comments were so negative I wondered why they were actually still sitting at all. (It’s not a good look if it reads like the animals you sit for are a nuisance…)

Having now had two great sitters, I’m getting more relaxed but avoid reading too much on here to avoid negativity - which is a shame as it means I miss out on the positive. But we do check for forum for comments by sitters who apply to sit for us.

I get it that sometimes people need to vent, and sometimes people want to leave an honest comment on a post ‘warts and all’. But this forum is essentially like a private Facebook group - the angry remark made after a bad day will still be there 6 months later.

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A lot of the forum is a toxic pool of negativity. If you don’t enter into that and keep posting good things and encouragement, it’s also a way of being yourself and not getting swept along by what’s not so good.

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Good to know what suits your temperament. Also good to keep in mind that forums of this nature will typically include complaints, problems and such, and those are outsized versus positive posts, because it’s normal for humans to want help with problems or to vent.

Personally, I just take negative posts as cautionary tales and keep perspective about how they’re not the norm among experiences. Logically, if they were, people wouldn’t keep paying membership fees and voluntarily keep doing sits.

For folks who find it hard to not soak up negativity, it can be useful to remember that the forum also is voluntary and it makes sense to avoid (or avoid certain posts) if only for self-care. If you read the subject headers on posts, it’s pretty easy to discern which posts will include negativity. Skipping those is an option. There’s even a mute toggle at the bottom of posts if you want to avoid seeing them ever again.

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