I’m at a house now and have been here for FOUR days, and the sit doesn’t actually start until Monday. During the past four days, the home/pet owner has yelled at me multiple times, pushed past me once, redone everything I was supposed to do, and tonight said she was afraid I was going to burn the house down. She appears bipolar to me, because one moment she’s yelling, and the next, she’s making me lunch. She was so angry one day that she broke the handle on a door. Yesterday, we went to a local hammam and the woman came into the dressing room while I was nude. I could go on and on about the boundaries crossed – not to mention that the dog walks are at 6AM across a vineyard where there are multiple holes and wild boars. I’m afraid I’m going to get hurt. I want to leave, but it’s so rural that I can’t even get a cab, and I don’t want a bad review because I left, even though it was for my own safety. Anyone else have this experience? Would you like to share some advice? Thanks!
I have questions about how you ended up being there a week early & how the sit is structured on the site (ie the actual start date,) but ultimately this is what’s important: based on your description, I think you almost certainly need to cancel & leave. I don’t know if you’re premium, but given your sense that you feel trapped there, I think you need to contact THS & ask for advice or assistance.
If you prefer to try to salvage the situation, I guess you might try to have a conversation with the host, and tell her you feel this may no longer be a good fit & ask to be taken somewhere you can get transportation from. But I’d stop worrying about the review; that’s probably a done deal regardless of whether you stay or not, & there are ways to mitigate it. It doesn’t make sense to be concerned about reviews if you feel your safety is at stake.
If the sit doesn’t officially start until Monday and the host is still at home with the pets you can leave
Contact THS on the Urgent Support 24/7 Phone Line explain that you are concerned for your safety . Ask them to officially cancel the sit . Explain that you are NOT abandoning the pets as the host hasn’t left yet and the sit doesn’t start until xx January . If the sit hasn’t officially started then no party will be able to leave a review .
You will have to pay for your own onward transport . You must have had a plan in mind for the transport that you would use when the sit ended ?
Once you have got yourself to a safe place ( home / another sit ? ) you may consider if you want to raise a member dispute about the host .
Silversitters is correct that since the sit has not officially started you can leave and no review. If you can’t get a cab or Uber I would call the police and tell them the situation. Let them know you are scared for your safety and they can take you to a safety point.
Leave now & don’t look back. Too many read flags here.
Why on earth are you there a week early?? This is highly unusual and suspicious to begin with.
Did you have a video chat with this woman in advance?
Leave the same way you got there.
Why are you there so early? It’s not even started and it sounds horrible.
Leave. Tell THS the circumstances and let the chips fall where they may.
And going forward it is your responsibility to know how to get to a sit (or anywhere in life) especially if it’s a remote one, on your own. If it’s not possible decline the sit. You can’t make yourself this vulnerable and dependent as a grown adult.
If your well-being is compromised, which it sounds like it is, you should, and are justified, in leaving. And THS should cancel the sit. Look through their policy for what the HO is violating and utilize that to cancel the sit. I did this previously due to safety issue violations.
Thank you very much, @MerryPuppins! I was going to say the same thing.
I did have a video chat, during which she was kind. She said she wanted sitters there 4 days early, which I thought was strange, but I came anyway and stayed a few towns away. She stated she would pick me up there and grateful for the ride, I came early (6 days). It’s been one thing after another, but the inappropriate behavior (yelling, breaking the door handle, walking in on me several times, and correcting absolutely everything I do – including how hot I want my tea water – has been too much. The switches back and forth in behavior are extremely weird. And this morning, she said to me, “I’m sure you don’t want to walk with 100 mph winds this morning,” so I took the dogs into the expansive yard and walked there, brought in some wood, checked all the cats, and finally sat down to have some tea. Immediately she asked whether I had checked the weather, and no, I had not–because I’d just sat down. Two seconds later, she was taking the dogs out – when she had told me the night before that she was going to stay out of my way. The dogs had both pooped and peed in the yard. When I asked if she wanted me to come (even though I hadn’t finished my tea), she said, “No, thank you.” I’m going to talk to her when she comes back and decide whether to leave. This is above and beyond.
It would be a whole lot easier if I had a phone. Mine broke right before this sit. And I am a grown adult, so I know how to handle myself.
Hi @proflangley
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation.
We’ve asked Membership Services to get in touch with you to give you some support - hopefully you’ll have heard from them already.
Please let us know how you get on, and feel free to keep posting if you need support in the meantime.
Jenny
Thank you, Jenny. Someone contacted me.
I appreciate your support. This is not something I expected to see happen.
Thanks,
Dawn
How do you travel without a phone in this day of age. Wouldn’t your priority be to obtain a new phone before going to an isolated area? Now that you are there can’t she drive you to get a phone? So you are saying, you are in an isolated place and when she leaves you will have no phone and no transportation. What happens if the pets get sick or you get sick or there is some other kind of emergency. This story is started to sound unreal.
I am so sorry that you’re going through that. I agree with merry puppins. You need to get yourself out of there, but before you do that document everything and with pictures if you can and definitely contact THS and let them know what’s going on. This sounds really severe. From what you’re saying it sounds like even if you stay it’s gonna be a bad review. But I did have a bad review once and I was able to counter it, you can leave a response that explains everything and from what people told me they really believed me in my response and didn’t hold it against me. I stayed in a bad situation because I was afraid of a bad review and she still gave me a bad review. And I did everything I could to make things good. I’m so sorry. But it sounds really terrible. And dangerous.
Oh, I just read what Silver sitters said, and I had not read your full post. If the homeowner is still there, then you can definitely leave. And like she said if you don’t do the sit, then no one will leave a review. So I would definitely just get out right now and let THS know what’s going on.
From my experience, things like this, only escalate. If you’re experiencing this now, it will get worse.
Are you a full time sitter with no home of our own? This is the only reason I can think of why you would agree to arriving a week in advance. Was this something the HO asked you to do (arrive early) or is it something you requested because you are a full time nomadic sitter?
The arrangement sounds as strange as what you are describing is happening with the HO.
Sounds like you are a roommate with someone who didn’t really want or need one. And being without a phone is just wild. That is the first thing I would take care of even if I had to pay a taxi to take me to get one.
You have access to some kind of device, because you posted here repeatedly. So ping a friend if needed and have them order you a ride share or taxi. Or ask them to call the police for a wellness check on you and then catch a ride with them away from the sit home if you’re fearful for your safety.
If this account is true, I suggest that you never again go on any sit where you can’t easily protect yourself / don’t take odd sits in rural areas.