Confirmed sit but listing is out of date, Welcome Guide not sent + HO not currently active

In mid-May this year I confirmed a sit for December. Since then the host moved further out of town (in August) but they have not updated THS their listing so I am unable to see what the new home looks like.

I have a vague memory of them telling me they were planning to move when we did the video chat last May and that if the new address did not suit me, I could ask to cancel the sit but I only just found out what the new address is.

I will meet them next week to meet them and the pet and look at the new home, so they gave me the new address last week when we chatted on whatsapp. Tbh I already feel like the new address does not suit me all that well as it is further out in “suburbia” while I wanted to be closer to the centre.

What would you do? I guess I should be patient and wait till I see the new home but my gut feeling is not great about this sit -
1/ they moved in August but never informed me of the new address until a few days ago;
2/ they have not shared the Welcome Guide with me even though we confirmed the sit in May. Even though they moved house in August, they could then have revised the Welcome Guide;
3/ When I told them last week that I want to read the Welcome Guide they replied: “Oh I normally just give the sitter a paper copy of the welcome guide, but I could easily type something up this week.” But they have not done that yet…. They have decent feedback from 4 past sitters, but obviously none of them had access to a Welcome Guide.


UPDATE: I just asked them to update their listing and asked again if they have now written their Welcome Guide.

Tbh I feel like I have been patient - I requested their Welcome Guide in May 2023 and still did not receive it! They moved house in August and never thought to inform me of the new address. Now I feel like we have gotten off to a bad start - I don’t feel like apologising but my gut feeling is getting worse now…

Edited to meet posting terms Copies of another members messages removed.


Trust your gut. This feels one sided. We’d decline and say thanks but no thanks, no longer a fit for me. Best of luck & should all be fine as you have “a month and a half to find a sitter so no urgency” (clearly being facetious there but you get the gist) :+1:t3:


Thanks for the good advice. I agree, it feels one-sided. If I had not happened to be in the same town this week and suggested a meeting, I never even would have known that they have moved house.


It probably wasn’t on purpose that they haven’t informed you earlier, but they didn’t and you also didn’t ask.
This might really only be a misunderstanding or you assuming that they should have reached out to you.
You also could have simply asked earlier instead of waiting for them to do it. They said that they would leave the decision to you if you wanted to go along or not, so why not simply ask as soon as possible?

I always reach out to my confirmed sitters at least once a every 3-4 weeks if the confirmation took place months earlier. Like this I am always quite up to date if major changes have happened. Same applies to the sitters. I always want them updated on anything concerning them.

About the welcome guide. I have a very detailed welcome guide but I don’t send it right away, because my cats are seniors and need medication, which might change and also affect their routines. I keep adding and deleting parts, depending on the length of the sitter’s stay, the time of year it’s about to take place and the sitters themselves (couple, single, two friends, mother and daughter…whatever combination).
I don’t understand why home owners don’t have it ready to send out if requested anytime, even if minor changes can be expected.
It’s also not written within a few minutes. Mine has been a continuing process and I still haven’t covered everything, which I just found out when communicating with our current sitters about how some machines work and about some quirks they have.

What puts me off is the wording of the home owner. It sounds a little exasperated that you might want to be informed and not very appreciative of you.

Even though this might have been handled differently, I now would suggest to draw out of it if you’re not comfortable with the sit.


thanks for the input @Pawtastic

I have spoken to the host and we agreed that the best solution is to cancel this sit.


Feels like @cat.tails DID ask, but the request was ignored.

IMHO the red flags are coming in hot-and-heavy,

:triangular_flag_on_post: Sitters aren’t mind readers, and it’s not logical to assume they will know if and when the residence changes.

:triangular_flag_on_post: Gaslighting a sitter into believing that the WG isn’t important is a big issue

:triangular_flag_on_post: the host’s defensiveness is the cherry on top of this :poop::ice_cream:.


To me this doesn’t sound malicious and I’d probably have gone ahead with meeting the owner and seeing their new place. I’d maybe be disappointed they’d moved out of the city but it wouldn’t be a deal breaker unless you now needed a car or something.

Agree though trust your gut always! It also sounds like things have started to go south in terms of relationship with the owners so bailing is probably the right call at this point.

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i just saw some messages on whatsapp that the HO sent just before calling me. I will not reply to them - they are quite unpleasant and accusatory.

Archived the chat in whatsapp, and moving on now :slight_smile:


Yikes yeah good call

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You dodged a bullet. Glad you’re moving on.

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I agree, not malicious, just disorganised (which is not a great thing in a host). I am aware that it requires a lot of thinking and planning and list-making when moving house - but I was not even at the bottom of any list as in “inform pet sitter of new address.”

Tbh I do not need a Welcome Guide 7 months in advance, but when a sit is confirmed I think it is easier for the host to send the sitter the WG immediately, then it is out of the way and the host does not have to think about sending it later on. The HO of course can revise and update the WG as often as they like, but the initial sending out can be done straight away unless they have not yet written it, then they can tell the sitter that they are still working on it or that they never write a WG or whatever. But silence and non-action is not acceptable imo.

You need to what is right for you.

But I wouldn’t get too hung up on the THS Welcome guide. I have only seen it used for about 1/2 of my sits. It’s difficult to prepare, read, and share.

If a HO sent me this “You seem worried. The sit is a month and a half away. You’re going to see our house in person. I’m happy to do these things but why the urgency?”

My response would be “I’m not worried. I want to provide the best care for your pet, and need information to do that. I’m looking forward to seeing your home and will discuss any concerns then, as we agreed in May. I had hoped to do this earlier but I’m sure you have been busy since your move.”

Turn it around on them. Center the conversation on THIER PET, not you. Make it clear that if you decide to pull out the inconvenience to them is due to their delay.

good luck.

thanks for the good advice but the sit is already cancelled. By chance, that is basically what I said when we spoke before agreeing to cancel.

I am currently on my 44th sit at THS - for every single one of them there was a Welcome Guide or else a doc sent to me by email which was a subsitute for a WG. That is why I am very accustomed to having a WG.


Glad you resolved this.

My experience is much the same as yours, for the sits that did not provide a THS WG I’ve seen some other doc (usually a better solution, the WG is awful to prepare & use). I should have been more clear.

Do they break THS Terms of Service? I’d be inclined to report them to member services. This HO does not belong on THS.

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I’m not sure what you mean @anon42826925

Wow, I would not have appreciated being spoken to like that. Seemed like you were ‘bothering’ them with your incredibly normal and appropriate request

@cat.tails - you are a very experienced sitter and understand the importance of timely receipt of a WG or other document outlining the important information sitters require.
In this situation it was even more important as you didn’t even have an address or any details about the home.

So this is a cautionary tale for any new sitters reading this.
The Welcome Guide (or owner’s equivalent) is so important.
There will still be surprises but at least you have an opportunity to read the guide and have an opportunity to ask any relevant questions.

I feel you had a lucky escape and if I was made to feel like a nuisance I wouldn’t be happy moving forward either.

Onwards and upwards :+1:


I just read the original post again. This HO was also a sitter? That makes it even less cool that they balked at providing the WG

thanks @Twitcher
I’ve always found the WG very useful and convenient, having all the info in one place rather than spread here & there between messages on the THS site and whatsapp where it can be hard to track down a bit of info in a long chat thread, let alone remember where I am supposed to look for a certain bit of info (THS, email or whatsapp or where?). I am not the sort of person who has a photographic memory for all these bits of info so I appreciate it all being easy to find in the WG at the THS site or emailed to me in a single doc.

I can imagine it’s a lot of work for a HO to create the WG (I’m a sitter only, not combined sitter & host so I have no experience of filling in a WG), but once it’s done it is re-used for future sitters (and of course can be revised and updated if that is what the HO wants to do). A lot of the info in the WG makes it easier for us sitters to look after the HO’s home and pets correctly. Yes, it takes of lot of time and effort on the part of the HO but surely it is something that is worth doing to ensure the successful completion of a sit?