I Now Have a Headache After a Video Call

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
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Hello THS family, I need to vent:

So, I had a video call scheduled today with a wife / husband.

Red flag number one: The wife sent me a message at the time our video call (FaceTime) was supposed to take place stating that she needed my phone number. However, I had already sent my phone number in my application–so I resent it again. When we scheduled the video call, I had stated that I looked forward to her call, meaning that she already had my phone number. So, why would she wait to ask for my phone number at the scheduled time of our video call?

The video call was one of the most mentally exhausting conversations I have ever had. I now have a headache.

Red flag number two: The husband had an aggressive tone, kept mansplaining, and kept overtalking / interrupting the wife. If she said something, he disagreed. They both had conflicting information for the care of the dog. Just one example: I asked what type of playtime does the dog enjoy because the listing had stated the dog likes to play in the backyard. The husband stated the dog chases him and the wife stated that the dog really doesn’t play. When she would say something, she would always look to him for reassurance. It was like she needed confirmation from him in what she was saying.

Red flag number three: He also interrupted me when I was speaking

One of the questions I ask towards the end of a video call is, “What time would you like for the sitter to arrive?” Keep in mind, I sent my questions 6 hours prior to our video call.

Red flag number four: They were arguing about the day they would leave and had not even made flight arrangements. During the video call, the husband was looking up airline flights. They were not also sure of the end dates for the sit. With a pounding headache and after several minutes had gone by, I said for them to contact me when they finalize their dates. I don’t know why I said that (knowing that I was going to withdraw my application)—wait, yes, I do. I just wanted the video call to be over.

Needless to say, I withdrew my application.

Have you ever had a video call that literally gave you a headache?

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I really hope they aren’t on the forum reading that.

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@sharondc … likely a wise decision to withdraw. Hope your headache is short-lived.

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If they are, perhaps they could learn something

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@MaggieUU It has been a long time since I had a headache. I took a couple of Aleve–so, I hope so too!

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It is very different when there’s a couple and the original connection/bond is with one half, and then you video chat with both, and the other half sometimes has no idea what’s in our profile.

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Dodged a bullet.

You’re more patient than I am — I would’ve cut the call short before getting a headache.

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I mean, regardless of whether the couple is HO or sitter, that doesn’t speak well of them if they can’t both be prepared for the call.

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@Maggie8K

After the husband interrupted me in the beginning of the conversation, the thought did cross my mind to end the conversation. But I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance. And then the wife brought the adorable pup into the video call with the most mesmerizing eyes.

It was an adorable pup and a great location, but as the conversation continued, I knew it would not be a fit for me.

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I consider hosts the No. 1 potential dealbreaker for any sit, no matter how great otherwise. That’s because if anything goes sideways, that’s whom you’ll be dealing with.

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@HappyDeb

Should sitters applying be penalized for one half not knowing what is in a HO’s listing/profile? You don’t find it ridiculous that one half does not know what is in the HO’s listing / profile? Should sitters be penalized when both halves cannot agree on the care of their pet? Should sitters be penalized when sitters are asked questions that they have already stated in their application?

When a couple is part of a scheduled video call, they should come prepared and they both should be on the same page. They should not spend valuable time arguing about things that should have been discussed prior or spend time looking up flight information during a scheduled video call.

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Luckily not so far……I think, like @Maggie8K I’d have cut the call short

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And I hope my headache goes away.

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Woahhhhhh, I wasn’t saying it was right, not sure why you thought that’s what I was saying. I was saying it was different (in a weird way) when one half has no idea about who we are (or indeed how they should act for that matter).

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Not knowing what’s on the sitter profile is different from having conflicting answers to basic pet questions and questions about your trip dates. I have had calls where clearly only one person read my profile and that’s whatever, but they were both able to answer any questions I had easily and completely.

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16

One of the very first sits I applied for was super problematic. The applications said something about wee-wee pads. It was a cat. I made the assumption it might be a cat with issues who used pads in case they missed the box or as an alternative. It didn’t bother me because I had experience with a dog with cushings disease who used wee-wee pads. However, it turned out that after a UTI the cat had continued to urinate on the host’s bed, so there was a mat and pads on the bed. The host said the cat only went in one corner so no problem! This was the bed offered to me and clearly the one the host wanted me to sleep on, but the host said I could also use their partner’s room and bed and keep the cat out. The partner having moved to a separate bedroom. In addition, because of the cat’s anxiety, they didn’t want me to leave for longer than a couple of hours at a time. The more they talked the more even they could also hear how nuts this was. They weren’t entitled. They were desperate. I bit my tongue a lot. I did not take the sit. They wound up finding a neighbor who would do drop-ins.

I knew in my brain what probably needed to be done or what I would have done in that situation. Get rid of the bed which was now a litter box in the cat’s brain. possibly redo the floors. Certainly do something to de-scent the room. Start the cat on prosac or whatever the vet recommended. Very likely not let the cats sleep on any bed with a human. I kept my mouth shut. I hope they figured it out.

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Wow! I like you prefer to give the benefit of the doubt, but considering all the red flags i would if ended it. I had a sit awhile sgo that was an invite for a lengthy stay, despite some red flags. I went with it. I eventually had some regrets, yet had committed so went with it. For me I’m constantly learning to fine tune my instincts when something feels off.

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absolutely outrageous !!!

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Some people are simply not right in the head.

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I hate all phone calls where I am speaking to 2 hosts.
I really wish that the HO would just let the person who initially responds to my application to be the only one on the phone call.
During all calls, they speak over each other; the conversation is all over the place and I have to really focus to ensure that I receive answers to my list of questions.
So yes, I can understand how they can end up giving anyone a headache.

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