My misunderstanding with a pending sitter

[idocsteve]

We confirmed a sitter for a 1 month sit beginning March 1st at our property in Greece. For this trip, my wife is headed to the Greek island of Samos to supervise renovations on an apartment in a small village that she received as an early inheritance. She’s got lots of relatives there, most of which speak no English and she has rich history there, but since I don’t speak Greek and I don’t have roots there I’m not all that into going there regularly.

For the month of March I plan to head back to the US, SE Florida, to visit my 96 year old dad, my daughter, a couple of college buddies, and my favorite activity which is scuba diving on shipwrecks from the Keys through Jupiter.

I am currently waiting on my US passport renewal. I had to relinquish my old passport that expires in 6 months, so I currently cannot travel. To save time and a potential” lost in the mail” scenario, I applied in person through the US Embassy in Athens, who assured me they would have the passport by March 1st, but hey you never know.

During the video chat I advised the sitter that there could be a delay in my travel plans due to the passport issue, she was ok with it and asked to please be kept updated.

Yesterday I sent her the following message, which is an exact cut and paste with her name removed for privacy reasons. Please read it, and make your own conclusions before you read further, because I really want to know if the problem is on my end and I didn’t make things clear, or she misread, and just sort of freaked out. As I get older I start to wonder about whether I’m expressing myself clearly and I would greatly appreciate the feedback.

My text to her:

“Hi-

Nothing yet on my passport but in March Despina is going to the island of Samos to supervise renovations on a property she received as an “early inheritance” from her parents. We figure if my US travel plans are affected I will go there with her for some or all of March. So the sit won’t be affected regardless of what happens with the passport.”

*Please take a moment and think about what I was trying to say here and come up with your own conclusion before you read further.

A few hours later she sent me a voice message. She was rather upset, and said that if I planned to share the our home with her for part of the month she wanted to cancel the sit ASAP so she can find another one, as she does not want to be in the home with the host present.

I immediately clarified what I meant in the text and we are all good. I welcome your thoughts. Did you come to the same conclusion she did or was my explanation clear enough for you?

[andrealovesanimals]

Well, you said the sit won’t be affected, so how much clearer can you be?

[Silversitters]

Just a mis-understanding because the sitter didn’t know the back story that you explained to us .

I think this sentence might have lead to the misunderstanding and not have been clear as it could have been

@idocsteve

We figure if my US travel plans are affected I will go there with her for some or all of March.

Seems that she thought you’re sating that there is a possibility that you might be back home for some of March ?

If you wanted the message to be really clear, you could cut out all the background information .

“In March, Despina will be in Samos. I haven’t received my U.S. passport yet, so if it doesn’t arrive by then, I’ll go with her to Samos and the sit won’t be affected.”

But no harm done , you’ve cleared up the misunderstanding .

[idocsteve]

@Silversitters

Maybe she thought you’d be back home for some of March ?

If you wanted the message to be really clear, you could cut out all the background information .

Yes that is precisely how she interpreted it.

Thanks, I do tend to be a bit wordy at times to my own detriment.

[BunnyCat]

It sounds pretty clear to me, but if the sitter isn’t a native English speaker, there could be a misunderstanding.

[idocsteve]

@BunnyCat

if the sitter isn’t a native English speaker

She is.

[BonnyinBrighton]

Why did the sitter need to know anything as it’s irrelevant to her where you’re going to be…. if it doesn’t impact the sit I’d have sent a simple text once it was certain where you’d be just for information.

[idocsteve]

@BonnyinBrighton

Why did the sitter need to know anything as it’s irrelevant to her where you’re going to be

Yes I probably say too much which confuses the issue.

[Highfive]

Alls well that ends well but yes you are juggling quite a lot more than most ! Great that it was resolved.. I’ve had things happen like this. I had a sit where the instructions “if you take x out in the garden keep him on a lead … so I did this religiously.. this was meant for when I sat for ages in the garden and maybe got distracted and the dog would then likely escape.. As a result he didn’t go to the toilet like the other two off lead and secretly went in the basement lounge area.. I later discovered!

Well some tweaking after a useful discussion post sit sorted it out! Poor dog!

Communication is key in all this negotiating and especially before arrival! Better to over explain than leave the sitter uncertain.

[Silversitters]

Small mis communications can happen easily even face to face and are just as quickly cleared up .

For example at a handover in a bustling family home when having the full house tour ( showing us the guest room , how the doors patio opened , where the keys were, the wi-fi code , meeting their young children , how to work the washing machine , the veggies that needed watering , the recycling bins etc ) at the end I asked “what about the food ? “

The host looked puzzled and said I thought you’d get your own food ?

To which I replied “ I meant the cats food -you haven’t shown me where do you keep that ? “

We laughed and she showed me the cupboard where the cats food was ..

[Nofurbabies]

I think your message is perfectly clear and should have given her reassurance that she needn’t worry about the passport issue. I’m wondering if the sitter’s first language isn’t English and so she may have misunderstood.

[idocsteve]

@Nofurbabies

I think your message is perfectly clear and should have given her reassurance that she needn’t worry about the passport issue.

Thank you. Thats how I felt (obviously). Since I had mentioned the passport issue may affect the sit, and then came up with an alternate plan if I don’t receive it by March 1st, I sort of felt obliged to give her more info.

But I could have simply said that if I don’t get the passport in time we will travel locally and her sit won’t be affected regardless.

[idocsteve]

@Silversitters

I asked “what about the food ? “

If this was done via text, you may very well have gotten a cancelation to the effect of “sorry we don’t feed our sitters”.

[idocsteve]

@Silversitters

Seems that she thought you’re sating that there is a possibility that you might be back home for some of March ?

It does sort of read that way doesn’t it. I meant that I would shorten my US trip by whatever any delay might be.

But sure, she read it just as you suggested and that’s when she freaked at the idea of having me as a roommate.

[august]

The message was clear to me. I understood it as: ‘I will go with my wife while waiting for my passport, and then I am off to the US.’ You also clarified that ‘the sit won’t be affected regardless of what happens with the passport.’ Clear.

This is why I was somewhat surprised by your question, so I read your note to the sitter again, and the phrase ‘I will go there with her for some or all of March’ caught my eye. ‘Some or all?’ If some, where will you stay the rest of the time, she wondered. This must have confused her, and she likely missed the part where you stated the sit wouldn’t be affected

[bakindoki]

You were very clear. The sitter did not read all the words.

I do agree though that they probably didn’t need the backstory.

What may be helpful in future if you plan to give additional context is add a “TLDR, we’re all set for originally intended dates (x to y) and looking forward to having you!”

[idocsteve]

@august

If some, where will you stay the rest of the time?

In the US, after I receive my passport, if it was delayed and I didn’t receive it by March 1st.

[august]

right, this was clear to me

[HappyDeb]

@idocsteve

with her for some or all of March

Ah yes, while I read it the way you intended, it will be the word ‘some’ that freaked her out. She may have thought that you would be home-home for part of the time, and Samos/US for the rest.

While I understood it correctly, I’d say on this occasion, her reaction is understandable, as I can see how it could have potentially be taken in different way, because of the word ‘some’.

I’m glad you explained things to and everything is now good.

[Lassie]

I agree that it was probably the “some or all of March” wording that caused her to be concerned. If the sit was not going to be affected by your passport delays, there was no need to go into the details of where you and your wife would be traveling (either in your text to the sitter or in your original post here). The background details are irrelevant. All the sitter needs to know is that the sit is taking place as agreed.