I’m not sure you read my whole post. There was a lot of detail that I didn’t include because I didn’t want the post to be too long, but I think that there is enough in there that explains my point of view.
@BunnyCat How do you want me to treat leftovers or perishables in the fridge?
Great question and really well worded!!
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I second what BunnyCat said about reading the reviews that other sitters have given the HO, as well as reading the reviews the HO has given of former sitters.
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Hi
I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time. Sometimes, whatever you do to check beforehand, the home owner(s) can become unpleasant. It may be nothing to do with you.
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Thanks Trainer🧡. I am finding that! That is what is happening. I appreciate your understanding.
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I’ve read your situation and several responses to it. May I suggest as a brand new member (haven’t even completed my profile due to not sure it’s for me) but what if @TrustedHousesitters created a space for HO reviews as well as the sitters. That way sitters can have the same quality experience as the HO. Since this is supposed to be a quid pro quo deal. Or have I misinterpreted it?
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Hey Rachel. There is a place for HO reviews. We can review them and they can review us. I really do like doing this. And have had many great sits. Just to encourage you.
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Welcome to forum @anon86416762 .
I can’t see that you have done wrong, you seem very kind and accommodating.
It seems to me here on forum that very kind and accommodating people tend to be exploited more often. No, that is not their «fault» and we should not stop to be kind to each other. But we can be aware.
I haven’t had as many sits as you, but never had a bad one, either, I never talk with hosts about how much I can do for them, how much I can be home etc.
First; I am picky about what I apply for. I look carefully for the tone of the listing (are they friendly, want the sitter to have a nice experience? Micromanaging, clean-freaks?) I prefer ordinary folks that have a life (jobs, interests), family homes, that come across as friendly, treat the pet as a pet and not a child or significant other. That are aware of the terms of THS (read it or understand it instintively - equal partners, voluntary trade). I pass on a LOT of listings even if time/ location is great. I don’t take risks with hosts if I can avoid it. (I’m sure some good hosts are passed also.)
Second: This is important. Timewise even before «First». 
I know what I want and what is important to me. I know my boundaries and I am prepared to stand by them. It is possible for me to cancel and to leave a sit. Worst case scenario is being terminated as a THS-member. I am willing to leave the platform if I am not treated as a fellow member should. I believe this attitude itself is a great help avoiding bad sits. Having choices will influence my own behavior and the risk of people trying to take advantage.
Third: A sitter should have expectations and is allowed to have boundaries. It is ok to say that that is beyond our agreement or simply I can’t do that. Several hosts has asked me, as an example, to extend the sit. I have in each case said that that is not possible for me to do. Each time they have found other solutions and given good reviews.
What many of us need to practice, is also to just say No. I think many of us have an urge to explain «why». But the «why» isn’t really necessary to share. The only thing that could lead to, is to discuss whether the reason is «valid» or to persuade you to cross the boundaries you’ve set. Just say no.
Another matter is to be afraid of someone not wanting me, giving me a bad review and such. But that is based on needing people that treat me bad. I don’t want that. I avoid hosts that seem high strung, high level of anxiety and such.
I want hosts that are entitled to decline me. Saves me time and trouble. I believe that honest and factual reviews can be kind, and I believe they will help me get the right hosts. If an entitled host should complain about their nitpicking needs, I hope that nitpicking hosts will avoid me. That would be a great service to me. While the accommodating hosts will be able to see through it.
I am not that social with hosts. I’ve been taken out for a meal which is nice, but I don’t think I would like, me personally, to hang around with the hosts for hours while they do stuff. I would say I had things to do and go somewhere with my ipad or whatever, gone to town to «run errands» or take the dog for a walk to get to know the neighborhood.
I might be wrong, but so far it has worked out.
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I think it is just sometimes a gut feeling. I had applied for a sit, a date filler, but then had all this crap happen with my car and I was not responsive to her, she was understanding, so when offered the sit, I accepted, but something in my gut didn’t feel right. As details progressed as I was going from one sit to another – the second being a repeat sit, the HOs love me and were willing to get a dog walker until I got there, but she had a real attitude problem that I was going to leave her cat alone. I tried getting out of the sit then, but she wouldn’t cancel. And then she wanted me to drive to her place to see everything. She didn’t accomodate me when I was driving by her town on a certain day and wanted me to drive 2 hours RT through traffic, if not more to do this. I told her I was not staff and messages escalated that she eventually cancelled me. There was nothing about the sit that looked bad, but as the conversation grew, there seemed to be an attitude problem. The cat went out on the leash in the mornings and afternoon and you had to be there. Not even like, I walk the dog and I can go to the grocery store. You had to arrange your schedule around the cat’s time outdoors. Sometimes you cannot tell. I got out of the sit. Luckily sits are not forever. You can get through it.
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I had a sit planned and the person informed me that there would be road works outside her house, I had to park 5 min away and could not walk the dogs in the village. Never asked me if this was ok. It wasn’t and I asked her to unconfirm the sit. She still had 3 weeks to find someone else. Never during the whole exchange did she use the word please or asked me how I felt, just took for granted that I’d go along with anything. I’m so glad I got out of that one. The person got very angry but did unconfirm quickly.
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A listing I had favorited when I first signed up had recently posted dates that aligned with my availability. The home, location, and pets look lovely, but upon reading through the listing, I didn’t see any mention of accommodations for the sitter. There was no indication that they hoped the sitter would enjoy the stay, nor did they express appreciation for the mutual exchange. They only listed location, amenities, pet needs, and responsibilities. They’ve had four sitters, but only two of the sitters left reviews. The reviews left for the sitters confirmed that they were punctual, sent updates, and left the house clean. There was nothing wrong with the listing, and a year ago, I might have applied, but the tone didn’t feel welcoming or appreciative, so I removed them from my list of favorites.
It reminded me how my perspective has shifted since I first started with THS. In the end, I realized I’m not just looking for a house sit—I’m looking for a host who values the exchange as much as I do. Warmth and gratitude go a long way, and without those, even the most beautiful home doesn’t feel like the right fit.
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Oh Garfield, thank you so much. I really really appreciate that kind of a thorough response. That really helps me what you said about if a nitpicky host complains about me then that is fine, then other nitpicky hosts will decline me.
I think I can definitely take a step back in my warmth as far as offering to help. I do do that with each host, letting them know that if they need anything while they’re gone, I can pick up something at the post office or retrieve a phone number. And I can just take a step back on that unless it’s someone that I really have a strong good feeling about and is being really kind which I have had that experience.
I really would like to avoid anxious and nitpicky hosts. Sometimes during the zoom meeting, they tell me how anxious they are and in the past I just reassured them and now I just don’t take that sit. But sometimes, it is not revealed in the review or in the zoom. But I’m gonna take a more careful look at the reviews in the past and just see how the host is described.
Because I know when I’m not happy with a host, I don’t say anything good about them in the review. I don’t mention them.
Thank you again for taking the time to respond to me. I really appreciate all the responses that I’m getting.
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Hey Andrea, I never have ever unconfirmed a sit but if something like that happens where things are not as they were described, it’s really good to know that that is possible. To unconfirm a sit.
That is so terrible. I’m so sorry that that happened to you.
I had one sit where there was construction going on for an entire month which included eight hours of jackhammering at the house right next-door. When I told her, the host, she said nothing at all just oh? She gave me lower marks, but it was all to do with the friend that sat right before me and nothing to do with me. So she did contact, trusted house, sitters, and make the adjustment. However, her cat also got fleas, which were so bad that there were tapeworms coming out of his butt. I had informed her at the first side of them, but she did not want to do anything to prevent it. Until the tapeworm showed up. She did not have adequate flea protection. I had to take him to the vet… But mostly it was uncomfortable for me and him. And there was no apology no consideration.
It just has stunned me this kind of stuff because I just never thought people would be like this.
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I actually have gone through a lot of bad sits and I think I’m just at the point where I don’t wanna go through this anymore, which is why I’m trying to figure out how I can avoid it in the future. But it’s interesting to me to know that you can unconfirm a sit. I always thought the terms were that you should never cancel unless it’s something extreme, but I also think that if the situation is turning out to be different than it was described that that is a good reason, but I just didn’t know that you could do that so that’s good to know.
The problem is, you CANNOT unconfirm a sit. The HO has to. That is why I was struggling with the one booking. She refused to unconfirm, even when she was very unhappy when I had to leave for the next sit. Blaming me. But eventually when she wanted me to come by and I insisted she was treating me like staff did she finally unconfirm me. That is the problem. An HO can unconfirm, but a sitter can’t. But like mdarden1x mentioned, it takes a while to weed out listings. I might still take one that isn’t my favorite, since I am nomadic, but I am realizing how many listings are there – though not in New Orleans where I have been searching for a month. 
in mid March, there are more listings.
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@anon86416762, kudos on caring attitude and on completion of many sits. Sorry to hear of your recent challenges.
Like you, we’ve completed many housesits. Vast majority have been great. Some truly exceptional. And some learning experiences … that have educated us about THS, pet parents, pets and frankly our own preferences. As a result, we have materially evolved our application criteria; video call approach; red flags; and decision basis.
Our approach to video calls has changed from employee-employer (us selling PP on why invite us as housesitters) to peer-peer (two-way Q&A with targeted questions on topics of importance to us or concerns from listing). We withdraw applications after perhaps one-third of our video calls. Sometimes there was simply a poor fit. Sometimes we learned a fact that terminated our interest. Much much walk away rather than commit to poor experience.
Housesit community is diverse and selection criteria are variable. Suggest reflect on attributes of housesits that have both brought you joy and suffering. Incorporate specific related questions into your application/diligence process.
It’s also possible that you simply came across a bad apple. Regardless, no harm in evolving approach to lessen probability of recurrence.
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Yeah, I love what you said. I’ve been doing this for so long, and I just feel that it is such a lovely thing. This exchange. And I really enjoy caring for the animals and caring for their home. and I just want to be treated well. Not like an employee not like somebody who’s going to mess things up for them. And I think it’s really good, these exchanges if they are warm it just add something to the world. So I’m gonna be much more careful. I’m already more careful after this post and these responses. It’s already making me more aware and careful. And just really aware of how good it feels when you connect with a homeowner who is warm and appreciative just like you said.
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That is a really wonderful suggestion. I’m gonna start doing that with the video calls and making it a question and answer thing peer to peer.
I think it’s the anxiety and the nitpicking and the micromanagement and the disregard for me and my time and who I am. And really, I think it is just looking at me as an employee. Stern tones. But I think yes, I bet you I can catch a lot of it in the videos.
And I just really, really appreciate you responding and I appreciate what you said. Like I said, I’ve been doing this a while and I’ve encountered quite a few bad ones, especially lately and that’s what drove me to make a post and I was a little hesitant, but I am really appreciative of the way people are responding. It really helping me a lot. Thank you so much.
Yes, and exactly. I’ve come to the point where it’s really not worth it to spend time miserably. To spend really any time worrying about how someone is going to react and having to constantly assuage situations.. It’s a total waste.
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I have experienced all of this in my 8 years. Suffice to say, doing less housesitting after each incident. We had a few overseas sits of 1 and 2 night handovers. Micromanaging, disrespectful and condescending behaviour. Even telling my husband how to drive (a retired Policeman) and reminding us not to drink drive! 
I don’t know the answer to avoid this. 
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