How do you screen homeowners to ensure that you will get a caring and respectful homeowner

Sitter Questions, Advice & Chat
41

@anon86416762 I haven’t read the entire thread yet, so apologies if I simply repeat what others have already said!

You sound like a caring and competent sitter. We’ve occasionally encountered situations like those you’ve mentioned, and this is how we coped with them:

If this happens during handover, we just go along with it, rationalising that we’re already there and with them for just a relatively short while, so if they feel the need to go on, and on, and on, that’s about their needs, not ours, so best to just let them get on with it and zone out a bit. If a pet parent demonstrates this leaning towards minutiae during the chat - as one recently guy did - we will subsequently withdraw our application. I think it’s fair to say that it denotes a bit of anxiety but it can also signal a micro-managing HO, so we’d prefer to partner with more laid-back folk.

We’ve encountered this on a couple of occasions and we use the time to either walk the dog and/or go shopping for provisions. If you want to avoid this situation, just ask for departure times and time your arrival accordingly. We often arrive in the area a good few hours before arrival time and just go and get a coffee somewhere or investigate someplace nearby.

(Edited to say: We don’t apply for sits where we’d be expected to stay in the HO’s bedroom. Personal preference but, if you opt for sits with a guest room, you’ll be guaranteed some personal space).

You can be assertive without being rude. Just say something like: “I can see you’re still busy packing, so I’ll head out to collect some groceries. What time are you planning on leaving?”

This one is easy: we don’t take all out stuff in until the HOs have departed. Just take in the necessities and get the rest later. Mind you, we travel by car, so it’s not a problem for us. If you travel by other means, simply plonk your stuff down and don’t venture to set it out or arrange things until the HOs have left and you have the place to yourself.

You could state in pre-confirmation messages that you’d appreciate some fridge and freezer space / wardrobe and drawer space (we actually include this in our profile).

She was gardening for two hours, following your arrival? What about showing you around and introducing you to the pets? Again, we’d have taken that as a signal to go for a walk or head to the shops for provisions.

Did you not notice the behavioural issues when you met the HO prior to the sit? Did you ask about any health issues? If health and behavioural issues were not disclosed in the listing, you could have raised this as an issue and given 24 hours notice to leave. Since you continued the sit despite not being supported by the HO, did you leave appropriate feedback and dock stars in the relevant sections?

It sounds as if you just need to ask a few more questions, work out a few strategies and be a bit more assertive. First and foremost, you have to look after yourself.

Take care.

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42

@Garfield I like your approach. It is a very mature and healthy attitude to hold as a sitter. A sitter needs to remain ‘in their power’ regardless of circumstances. Sometimes we forget that we can always walk away if needed. We are not slaves without choices and being a member of THS is not everything.

It is too easy to slip into ‘pleaser’ mode out of fear of jeopardising the 5* review but, like you, we are becoming more and more discerning as the years go by. Thanks for sharing. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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43

Aw, thank you so much for writing. And I’m sorry this is happening to you and it really helps just to hear that you are having the same experiences and feelings as I do it just really helps. Thank you so much.

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44

PS. I took a peek at your profile and you have such amazing reviews. I can’t believe you’ve done that many pet sit. Which just makes what you said to me all the more good and helpful.

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45

Oh God, I don’t expect you to read the whole thread! I do appreciate you responding.

yes. That’s what I do. I try to limit it because I’m just so sick of the micromanaging. But in this case, when I said yes, I understand how to do that. She just kept going on. So I just let them go on and hope that it will get over soon

it just shows me a real lack of consideration in that the homeowner didn’t prepare the house for me like she said she would. And then once I got there rather than taking 15 minutes to prepare the space for me, she chose to garden, which granted that was an important thing she needed to do before she left. But it was I think inconsiderate and then to expect me to have me arrange my belongings in a certain fashion. This sit also she changed the arrival times at the last minute really a few times.

I do not have a hard time standing up for myself. I mean I used to, but I don’t have as much of a hard time now. But I was at that sit late at night. It was a handover. And the zoom that I had with her as I said was extremely lovely. I thought oh this may be a new friend like we really had a good connection.

The one that I ended up having to take the dog to the vet. There were no health issues. The health issue came from just some unawareness on her part of what she needed to do in order to keep him healthy. And again, with this person, I had a two hour meet and greet, and it was lovely and fine.

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46

Yes I did leave a very clear review to which she responded, That’s what you get for having an anxious, senior citizen sit for you. There were no behavioral issues that I noticed when I had the meet and greet.

I did have a concussion from getting knocked down by another dog that I was sitting, and I did tell her about that. And she didn’t bring up the fact that her dogs jump on you are and are unable to be walked. So it was very difficult.

I did let trusted house sitter know pretty much immediately once things started really being bad. In hopes of support. After this sit was over, I went through the long process with trusted house sitter to get her bad review of me removed, but they did not feel they could do that

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But I’m definitely definitely feeling like I need to ask more questions and if I have any feeling, that is not a good feeling about the homeowner that I should refuse the sit. And this is coming from reading all these responses to my post and I really appreciate people taking the time and letting me know what’s going on for them. And what they do. it really is helping me a lot because I was just feeling really terrible.

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48

I am sorry you are feeling disrespected. Your post describes a number of different situations. Some do seem like the host is being less than gracious or unequal in their expectations. It happens. We do our best to avoid those folks, but it happens.

But, some of your examples seem like humans being human. When it comes to this, my advice is to let it go. We are all individuals and have our ways of doing, our ways of communicating. If someone seems directive/bossy, that is how it is. Thankfully I am not staying with them, I am staying with Fido or Fluffy. If someone feels the need to give me overly precise instructions about something I already know, I just let them. They are doing it for their own reasons. Maybe anxiety. Maybe trying to be helpful. If someone wants me to store my bags in a particular way for 2 hours while we crossover in the house, let them. When they leave, I can unpack and make myself at home. Is it silly for them to care so much about my luggage in the kitchen for 2 hours? Yes. But in a way it is equally silly for me to care that they prefer I put my bags somewhere else. Just do what they say and wait for them to leave. (BTW, generally I put my bags down in an out of the way place and ask, if it is okay to leave my things here for now?)

Like I said, let it go. It’s about them. Not you. There is freedom in trying not to control other people. JMO.

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49

@gotyourback Very wise words there. Would you mind sharing some of the questions you ask? I am a fairly assertive person but I can’t seem to phrase questions in such a way as to make me comfortable asking them in that initial zoom call.

I am realising that there are some dealbreakers for me, one being if the neighbours dog barks constantly, that’s definitely something I’m going to ask about in future zoom calls!

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50

Reading through this, I’ve been trying to identify what might have been different at an early stage with my loveliest, most appreciative home owners.

It’s that they totally understand the mutual decision and want to attract me to agree their sit as much as check me out. They ask when I’m free for a call or send me a couple of time options and ask politely if either of those would be convenient. During the call, they offer up info on what my experience will be like without having to be asked - what the bedroom’s like, what facilities they have, any pet quirks, what the neighbourhood is like. They are friendly and very enthusiastic. If they have cleaners they don’t just tell me, they ask if I’m happy to have their cleaner come while I’m sitting.

This has been a really useful thing to think about.

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52

I’m surprised that THS allowed a review which contained an ageist remark. Then again, this HO has probably just obliterated a huge number of potential future applicants!

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53

Do any of you pay attention to scores they gave previous sitters for cleaning?

I’m in communication with someone right now and she has given 2 previous sitters just 4 stars for cleaning. Along with great reviews, but I feel a bit uneasy about it. The sit sounds great otherwise. I’ll have a call with her and then decide. She did ask me which call times were convenient! :smiling_face:

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54

@andrealovesanimals Has this HO had just the 2 previous sitters? If so, that’d be a ‘nope’ from us! :rofl:

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No, she has had 4 or 5. One she gave 5 stars to, the other seems to have left THS as I could not open her profile.

56

Ah, potentially not such a red flag then. :crossed_fingers:

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Hi, so sorry you’ve had some experiences of feeling like unpaid staff. I am gleaning this ‘employer’ attitude from a lot of descriptions so am not applying for those.

I’ve only done one sit; this was stressful, mostly due to the dog’s behaviour (plus a lot of free-range poultry I hadn’t expected!) and taught me a lot about what questions to ask - eg is your dog really trained?!

As others have pointed out, feeling like a useful equal is a good starting point, then asking questions on a video call that clarify the HO expectations, and yours. I just had one call that was going well, they offered me the sit, then I started asking specific questions about how the house worked (during Winter in the UK). It turned out there was no heat upstairs, and no hot water (the HOs boiled a kettle for sink use), and the HOs ‘try not to use the tumble dryer). The heating was timed for a brief period each day, and the sitter wasn’t allowed to use the woodstove. Also, there was a third party in their annex, not mentioned in the listing. Does anyone know how to Withdraw an Application?

So, being new to this, the forum is really helpful with suggestions for making a sit an equal, respectful exchange. With a clear profile of what you offer - as a sitter and as a HO) and a list of questions about what matters to you, communication will be a bit clearer, and both parties’ expectations ought to match.

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58

Go to your dashboard, click on the application, then manage, then withdraw application. It’s good to also send a quick note, saying you are withdrawing .

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59

@anon73778367

If you have not actually confirmed the sit then you just have to scroll to the top of your application and press the Cancel Application button.

Good job you asked those extra questions!! What a nightmare sit that would be!! Nothing worse than freezing your butt off in a draughty house in the UK just because the HOs are tight! (Also with themselves by the sounds of it!)

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60

Thank you! I’m saying this with much appreciation. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. And that is really great to think about; the things that you said. I just had a call with a potential homeowner and she didn’t do those things and she really did treat it as a employer/employee call with interview questions. It was interesting because the first question she asked me is why do I do trusted house sitter and I laughed and said oh I wanted to ask you the same thing because I wanted to try one of the suggestions from the other sitter. So I spoke about how I loved the mutuality and she didn’t want to really answer me. And just said they like to travel a lot. And I just had a feeling that she wanted to remain on top. Like an employer.

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61

Trusted house sitter did remove the senior part but then it just read an anxious sitter which was worse because I agree with you the senior part would’ve alerted people to the ageism

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