You know, I do pay attention to homeowners and the reviews that they leave. Because I think that is important. And if they are leaving picky reviews, then I would not want to sit for them. And, yes, I really pay attention to the cleaning Reviews. I would be uncomfortable about them giving the sitter four stars for cleaning. One thing I do do also is check and see what other kinds of reviews that sitter got. And if that sitter is getting really good reviews on cleanliness from everybody else, then that is a really good clue that that particular homeowner is particular.
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It’s really easy to withdraw the application. Just like the other said go to the application and hit cancel. You can leave a reason or not. It’s totally up to you and that sounds horrific to be in a winter house with no heat. I’m so glad you asked those questions!
That sit sounds like MS should step in and tell them no third parties (annex person) and also about the need to offer basic amenities for sitters e.g. heating in a UK winter if they want to be on the platform. You can email support@trustedhousesitters.com and ask them to talk to that host. #saveasitter
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@outdoorsy, firstly kudos on fab name. Having spent bunch years playing in Western Canadian Rockies then outdoorsy resonates!
Re questions, we don’t believe that video calls need be aggressive at all. It’s just conversation. But the work is before the call … identifying topics that are important to you; listing any potential red flags; and then weaving questions into the conversation. My spouse and I complete video calls. We have notes written out and I jot responses. Housesitter preferences seem to vary significantly but we are keen to understand:
- housesit logistics (what is PP trip? booked? departure date/time? return date/time? … we find that dates per listing vary in their accuracy) … a “green flag” pet parent will respond that their trip is committed; that we are welcome to arrive on day x or y (perhaps to share a meal before their departure); and that we are welcome to leave on day x or y. For us, as full-time housesitters, flexible dates are gold dust.
- pet specifics (day in the life of pet; where sleep; time/distance/frequency walk; any medications; any behavioural concerns, etc)
- property basics (ballpark location; nearby amenities; local walking areas; transit options, etc)
We try to ask open questions and then let conversation flow. “describe a typical day for [pet]” typically yields lots info. if there’s gap then we clarify, eg. “where does [pet] sleep?” A few of our questions are probably loaded, in that an undesirable response will terminate our application. That’s ok.
We observe that Pet Parents appreciate questions. It shows preparation, effort and respect for the intent to assess a good fit. We totally recognize that we are absolutely not going to be the best housesitter for each situation, heaven forbid.
In your question, you note neighbours dog barking … bravo, it’s great to identify dealbreakers (we all have them, or should). Suggest simply weave into conversation “how are your neighbours?” … we’d wager that most times this will identify any neighbour pets. As appropriate then followup re barking. It’s totally ok to ask questions! Objective of the call is to assess best fit for both parties - much better to ask in video call rather than be surprised on arrival.
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That’s really helpful, thank you. I have managed to withdraw that one now.
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Thank you, and yes absolutely, the HOs may be fine living in a cold house and cold water but it isn’t reasonable to expect everyone to live in that super-frugal way. I have managed to withdraw the application now. The dog looked great!
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Thank you for replying. I have managed to withdraw the application now.
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Thank you; I have emailed now. I thought about it before then decided against, but in the interests of other sitters, HOs need to understand about creating a welcoming space that is comfortable enough, and certainly about having an on site person in the annex. I sat for three summer weeks with other family in the annex and they were all over the garden every day so it was a busier sit than I anticipated.
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I do paid pet sits as well. Where I get up to 125 a day. To stay in their house. So the thing with trusted house sitters is that they do need to make a welcoming space for the sitter. that’s the whole thing of it. I’m so glad you’re not doing it. And I’m sorry about the people that were overrunning the garden. I had one homeowner who had her son come visit, with some excuse about him wanting to see the dogs and then he took videos of where I put my stuff in the kitchen and sent it to her, and she was outraged because it wasn’t in neat rows. As well as some other stuff. Which I won’t go into. But it has made me really alert to not having anyone else in the house which is one of the trusted house sitters rules.
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Hi Heymaties, so you were spied on, how unpleasant, and probably a TSH rule-breaker. It’s important we all trust each other so I imagine that your HO wasn’t really comfortable having anyone in her house. I am now very alert to third party and annex-dwellers, simply because I am very peaceful and I like to be left alone with a book! I did have a visit from the HOs mother which I guessed was a check-up, especially when it was unannounced, and the annex-dwellers were fretting because I had been out (walking the dog) on her first visit, although in on her second visit. I understood that need to check on a stranger in the house, although when I asked her for help to identify or solve the terrible smells problem, she suggested I crawl under the decking to identify the cause! Not my area. After I left, the HOs found over 300 chicken eggs under there, some of which were exploding . . . HOs were lovely people, warm and very easy-going. It was an eye-opening first sit 
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Yes. I was spied on! And this is one of those circumstances where I totally felt her anxiety and distrust in the zoom. But just thought because I’m so easy-going and I’m really great, just thought it would be fine. But right from the beginning there was a demand and a impatience and then it escalated. And this is one of those things where I learned. I really need to trust the red flags.
And me too! Me too! Left alone with a book to read.
Yes. I agree with you, not your area. That’s crazy She wanted you to go under the decking.
If you can get paid doing it, why do you do it for free?
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Great! I think I was the one who suggested that question (and I am actually a HO) - it can be so revealing when you ask an open ended question like that. The HO that want staff will say talk about their own basic needs - eg they travel a lot and want ‘free’ staff.
I know the answer I would give (won’t share it here) but it has nothing to do with needing ‘free’ help for when we travel.
Good for you for asking!! I wish sitters would ask me more questions!!
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I’m speechless! 
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If people say in their profile that the place needs to be kept clean at all times, it is another warning sign. Most people would only care if the place is clean when they return!
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These are wonderful suggestions!
I had the thought reading this topic up to your comment that we need something like this and was so glad someone offered ideas.
I hope other sitters offer their own ideas of screening questions that we can ask that will help detect issues — including as much by what’s not said and by how things are said, as by what the HO answers. I think what’s between the lines, and the HO’s reaction (including facial expressions and body language if you are on Zoom or FaceTime) are just as important as the words, because people can say what they think is the “right” answer. (I used to teach managers how to interview job applicants and this was a key point for them to learn.)
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This is excellent, very helpful information! I’m curious if you would be willing to share your “loaded” questions that can lead to answers that you consider dealbreakers. (I understand if you don’t want to do that, though!)
I think you’ve received a ton of helpful ideas and feedback. (Sounds like you feel you have, too.)
All I’d add is that I think we set up “contracts” with other people of how we will treat them and how they can treat us. I think we do this largely unconsciously, and from the first moments of meeting.
Think about people you encounter in your life. People who give off “don’t mess with me” vibes, or just good self-confidence vs. other people who seem to want to please whoever they meet and go along with whatever other people want. Those are broad strokes, and most of us are more complex and subtle, but we do constantly communicate who we are, what we expect from others, and what we are willing to offer. And other people read those signals and take us at our word. “You’re offering that? OK, I accept.”
So the key to being treated well is become aware of what contract we are unconsciously offering other people. That can take a lot of introspection and also sometimes the help of a professional, or at least the discerning and compassionate feedback of wise friends.
You talk about being easygoing and able to flex to what others need or want. That can be a great asset in many ways. But every strength we have also has a flip side that can cause us problems. Perhaps, as you suggested yourself, you give people the impression that you will go along with things and not stand up for yourself. Most people are kind and good and won’t take advantage of this. But a few will. And you may have just run into a bad streak of those types of people.
So as others have suggested, doing some things in the initial contact (zoom etc) that show you will stand up for yourself and that you need and want to get something out of this exchange, too, may be the key to weeding out the HOs who will treat you badly. Don’t be afraid to have HOs reject you, either. We women especially can try to be accommodating to other people and not have them get angry at us or reject us. It can be hard to turn that off, but it is essential for being sure we take care of ourselves. Don’t be afraid to be more assertive than you usually are. You might even feel you are being a little bit rude and demanding. You probably won’t be, though. You probably are just used to being so kind and accommodating that it will feel that way to you.
Good luck and I hope you report back here on how it’s going for you in the coming months!
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Sitters do review the homeowners!
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Vocabulary used and tone of voice is a good way to tell if a HO will be respectful. Sometimes if I get an inkling that a HO might be a bad choice I ask if we can change the call time/day and see how they respond to a request/change of plan. I ask for the Wg right up front, if they bawk on that I back out. That is always a bad sign. If they say they have a “print out” for me upon arrival I ask for it to be emailed right away. I always reiterate in writing what has been agreed upon in the video meeting. I look at the reviews they have left former sitters. That can tell you a lot. I note whether or not they ask me if I have any questions for them or do they just talk at me for an hour… that’s a no for me. I always say I’d like to sleep on it at the end of the call before committing. Their response to that tells me a lot too. Most HO’s appreciate it and are pretty good.
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