Hello. I am new to Trusted House Sitters I and am getting a few responses for a house sit but feel they are either too young or appear to lack true value in what I am looking for in a sitter. Many seem to be ‘free spirited’ and need to be close to nature etc. which are absolutely fine qualities, but not quite what I am looking for in a sitter unfortunately. I feel that if I describe the sitter I am truly looking for (+50 year old or a retired couple), that it may appear to be insulting or discriminating. How would I word a preference such as this in my introduction?
2 Likes
Save everyone time and be specific in your listing. For instance, say something like: We lean toward older sitters.
That way, you don’t waste applicants’ time and you don’t need to decline a bunch of people you’d never pick anyway.
If anyone applies who’s not a fit, you can just say something like: We appreciate your applying and wish you well with sits. Meanwhile, we’re looking for a better match.
You don’t need to explain why you’re not picking anyone.
10 Likes
Why do you need to go into detail or specifics? If you don’t think they’re suitable just tell them you went with another sitter. That’s totally fine. Most pet parents here don’t even bother to respond personally to applications, either to initially acknowledge the application or to then decline the application. That’s annoying after a sitter has spent a lot of time telling the pet parent everything about themselves.
The more specific and detailed a HO’s listing is the better.
I agree with @Maggie8K
I have seen listings that I would have applied for but stated “couples only”, but I travel solo. In seeing listings that prefer couples, I feel disappointed, but realize that the HOs have their reasons. The listings gave me something specific and detailed. And I do not waste my time or the HOs’ time by applying to those sits as it would be pointless.
If the HOs have specific requirements in what they are seeking in sitters, it should be implicitly stated. if sitters applied that were not a fit—even though the HO clearly stated what they were looking for, it wastes the HOs and sitters’ time.
With the 5 applicants’ rule especially—the only sitters that should apply are those sitters that meet the HOs’ criteria / specific requirements.
3 Likes
I’m responding to the original asking how to decline an application. Pet parents don’t need to go into detail as to why they don’t want to use a sitter when declining an application. Just tell them you chose someone else.
2 Likes
I am on a sit now, where it was for a 5 yo lab, then they got a puppy so I also have this large 5 month old puppy. Although I am active, workout, this is a challenging sit. Walking both of them is hard. The puppy wants to wrestle the other while walking. The lab sees a rabbit and wants to run after it. I got the sit before they got the puppy and I am sure they probably won’t need a sitter until the puppy is out of the puppy stage, chewing everything, but once they got the puppy, it should have been for a couple. Luckily, my daughter is coming from a summer course today – yes, owner knows – so it will get easier after today. They are large, strong dogs. The good part is that it is very hot and they only walk early morning and evening. They have a doggie door, so they can be left all day. I don’t do it, but I have no problem going to get my daughter from the marina today, or go shopping with her next week. If the puppy chews the dining room chair leg…hopefully not. But the chewing is an issue.
1 Like
Sorry, I based my response off of the above question. The OP had two questions–one in the title / thread.
1 Like
I had a sit that would’ve been better suited to a couple or family, which I noted my hosts and mentioned in my review. Yet my hosts kept trying to get me to accept repeat sits.
The year-old pup needed nonstop attention, was intensely jealous and would attack the cats, so I had to keep them separated. I would’ve loved to spend more time with the cats otherwise.
I adored all the pets, but it was an exhausting sit and I wouldn’t do it again.
1 Like
I think any explanation upon declining a sitter is better than just hitting the decline button without any explanation! We’re an older retired couple who have been quite successful with sits but have also received just a “decline” with no message. I’ve often thought perhaps we’re too old and the homeowners were looking for younger sitters so an honest explanation is appreciated.
2 Likes
@Globetrotter, asking sincerely: would you really be okay being told you’re too old for a sit, and would it really make you feel better? I always write a personal message, but I would never feel comfortable telling an applicant they were too old. Or too young, if I’m honest. It’s discriminatory, and age doesn’t indicate capability. Our next sitter is in the 65+ category and I asked specific questions to make sure they’d be okay on our multi-level, uneven property and even that made me squeamish. I can’t imagine anyone being comfortable sending a “sorry but you’re too old” message. Ouch 
2 Likes
That’s not really what I meant. As in your reply, you’re concerned that the sitters may not be comfortable in your multi level home so you’ve asked the appropriate questions due to concern for their capabilities which is understandable. On the other hand, people make a lot of age related assumptions which is unfortunate. I recently declined a sit I’ve done a number of times due to the homeowner getting a puppy as her elderly dog had passed away. I voluntarily chose to decline as I knew the puppy would be too much for me to handle. It’s really hard to know sometimes who homeowners are looking for.
1 Like
As a sitter it really doesn’t matter whatever reason a homeowner has for declining.
What I do appreciate is that if you see it is not a match, decline and «set me free» for new opportunities.
If a HO doesn’t answer in any way for a couple of days (either scheduling a video-call, saying «I’m reviewing and will get back to you on x-day» or decline) I will cancel my application. For me, communication is key for a good match and I’m looking for a HO that communicates in a timely fashion. Yes, I know I’m picky. 
I can see not wanting to be agist in either direction. I think you can simply state a minimum number of reviews or other experience, and use the word “mature.” You might not need 50 plus specifically.
If you are are declining people, I wouldn’t worry about them taking it personally. I would however suggest that age is a number and there are plenty of older sitters who might not be suitable either.
2 Likes
Ok, so you are not getting many applicants. I don’t believe that you would get more retirees applying if you specified that. And you would miss out on applicants that are just 30 or 40.
Probably, your listing will attract more applicants after you have received a good review. And maybe the free-spirited young person would write something really enthusiastic about how nice it all was, and that would help you.
Some of the top sitters on this forum (those that get to sit in the really amazing properties) seem delightfully free-spirited 
4 Likes
Hi @kallalb
Welcome and thanks for thinking about sitters as many HO simple decline a sitter without a message. I always appreciate a message that thanks me but says the HO has chosen another sitter.
As a home and pet owner, you have every right to list and request anything you want. And, yes, this discriminates ; and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this !
It saves you the time and effort sorting through applicants who don’t fit your needs and potential sitters the time and effort in applying for sits for which they’re not qualified (according to your needs). State your needs/wants clearly and as specifically as possible using positives ( "I’m looking for ‘x’ ") as opposed to negatives ("I don’t want ‘y’ "). Remember, it is your home with your pets, the most important things in your life and defining your needs is crucial …and 100 % fair and acceptable.
*** Thank you for your application. It’s tough to choose just one but we have to, so, unfortunately this time we are declining your application. Good luck with finding other sits. Kindest regards XYZ ***
It doesn’t have to be personalised about age or free spiritedness, just neutral.
Assuming a 50+ will do a better job than an under 50 is a bit silly in my opinion but THS is about matching up with the perfect fit with different strokes for different folks.
2 Likes
I have some explicit sitter restrictions at the top of my listing (no kids, no pets) and still occasionally get applicants asking to bring one or the other. I also have some implicit restrictions in the Responsibilities section (daily walking on hilly private trails or walking on public flat trails, so some athleticism or reactive dog handling skills required) and occasionally get applicants don’t appear to be physically able to do that. I also sometimes get applicants who I don’t want to invite for other reasons.
To all of these, I have the same general template:
- “Hi [name], thanks for reaching out.”
- Depending on their initial message I might say something nice about them or their plans: “Taking a road trip up the west coast sounds fantastic!”
- Depending on the reason why:
- I might say it outright: “Unfortunately since Cortana is reactive, we can’t invite other pets into her home.”
- (And if I’m feeling cranky I’ll start by telling them to read the listing, because I’ve written it there twice: “I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to read through our entire listing, since I know the 5-application limit can force some quick clicks.”)
- or I might describe what I’m not sure they can fulfill, then let them decide if they want to continue the conversation: “Tuna’s safety is paramount to us and of course we also don’t want you to have a stressful time of it, so if this outside your comfort zone that is totally understandable!”
- or if they put no effort into their message, I won’t put any into mine either: “I don’t think this is the right fit.”
- I might say it outright: “Unfortunately since Cortana is reactive, we can’t invite other pets into her home.”
- And then I end with: “Hope you have a great weekend!” or something similar.
One time someone argued with me about declining them lol. Otherwise this has worked out pretty well for me. I think it’s nice to send personal messages!
4 Likes
I think there’s some distance between
and
For me, “sorry, we went with another sitter this time” is enough. Sometimes they add some kind of reference to future sittings but I really don’t need an explanation.
1 Like
I applied for a sit, in a location I need to be in, during a set period. It is in a northern area, in early March, so cold weather, in a suburb, pretty far from a city, so not great access to transit. I got declined, and the sit is still up and there is only one applicant. I asked why, since the sit is still up, I have 5 star reviews. They said they wanted a sitter who lived closer, but they hadn’t video called her yet and if it didn’t work out, they would reach out back to me. ??? Why would you decline someone if you hadn’t made a decision, only had one other applicant. I won’t take the sit now, unless really desperate, but think other sits will come up in the city as we get closer to march. But writing this out, since I am venting.