Please start (if you haven’t already) keeping documentation of who you spoke to, when, the content of the conversations, etc. It gives much more credence to your side of things if and when you have to recall details
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Multiple red flags. Walk away and never return. Most pet parents are great. A few seek to be employers of volunteers or seek unreasonable exchange - steer clear of them.
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THS Third Party Policy
“A pet parent must ensure that their property is vacant and that no other person will be living in the home apart from the sitters. This includes (and is not limited to) no family members, tenants or employees. ”
https://support.trustedhousesitters.com/hc/en-gb/articles/360001881117-Third-party-policy
Recommend report HO to support@trustedhousesitter.com.
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I am sure it feels good to be done with that and it sounds like your next sit will go better.
And that you can’t really lodge a complaint to get a review revised is largely true. There are instances where they might consider it but it is very rare–perhaps if someone says something truly slanderous or bigoted for example.
But other than that, THS will not make any revisions and the only recourse is to respond with your side.
And this is the case even with things that you may be able to prove are not true. For example, if the host criticized your cleanliness but you have photos showing how clean you left it, it is highly unlikely they would take that part out of the review.
Again, unless it is some truly harmful statement or accusation, they are not going to alter it in any way.
I know this can be frustrating when people know certain statements are not true, and even more so if they can solidly prove it. But I do understand the site’s policy of largely staying out of it except for the most limited of circumstances.
If altering reviews became more commonplace–especially altering hosts’ reviews of sitters–that would certainly become known through member complaints on various channels and wouldn’t be a good look for a business.
Totally agree!
I would focus on raising a member dispute
Third parties are not permitted.
If you raise a member dispute and submit evidence ( screenshots of messages etc ) THS will suspend her account whilst they investigate. The hosts will not be able to submit a review during this time .
If THS agree that she breached the terms (which she clearly did by having a third party living in the home ) they may remove her from the platform .
You can ask for transcripts from your phone calls with THS which maybe useful for your dispute .
This thread discusses the member dispute process
https://forum.trustedhousesitters.com/t/member-dispute-process
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Thank you!
I am now worried as they told me from THS that I could be added to their watchlist for having left earlier, before she arrived and before the end date on the platform, even though they had told me they’d end the sit for me, that I could abandon it given the breach of terms, that there was a camera and a third-party involved…
I also noticed she changed the listing again, saying this time that the sitter will sleep in the living room and providing actual details for the pet’s care in the responsibilities section when initially there was nothing other than it was an indoor cat who likes company.
Anyway, I’m trying not to stress anymore and put this behind me. I just hope they take the evidence and my side of the story into account upon investigating and don’t take disciplinary action against me instead as it would just not be fair.
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They won’t investigate your side of the story unless you raise a member dispute .
If she has raised a member dispute against you - you will be able to present your side of the story - include transcripts of your phone calls with THS where they said the sit would be ended and you could leave .
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I already raised a member dispute – the first time I called the first thing I said was that I wanted to raise a member dispute and proceeded to explain the situation as I wasn’t sure whether it qualified as urgent and they confirmed it did due to the third party and camera thing.
I don’t think she raised a member dispute against me. She just messaged me asking me why I used her bottle and why I didn’t clean it as it smelled of orange juice (?) I have no idea what bottle she’s talking about as I didn’t use any bottles that weren’t my own and ofc washed everything I used. I took pictures before leaving of how spotless I left the place. I think I will need to block her.
The guy that emailed me said he couldn’t access the conversation I had with the last girl I spoke to yesterday who said she’d end the sit by 4pm ET but that he’d keep looking into it. The call was definitely recorded so they should indeed be able to access it and provide a transcription if needed.
Thanks again for the help!
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Yes, do that
Sad to hear about this sit for you. We sat for a women who was also ( let’s say not stable!) was her first time utilizing the service . We are couple and sat many times with 5 star reviews. We’re excellent communicators and always like to go above and beyond what is expected of us.
She was a little off on video call and I just didn’t listen to my gut. I now know to always decline when I get an obviously unstable personality vibes. A flip flopper
Here’s just a few things .. too many to go into detail.. A man kept coming over asking for her ( we noticed there were photos of him with her all over the place ) she claimed not to know someone of that name.. it was obvious it was an ex partner.
We sent photos daily and reports of her cats.. did all gardening, cleaned thoroughly the home and she asked us to stay extra night as her dates changed..
we agreed. We had initially asked via system for a sheet with instructions.. ZERO given..
instead she rushed through telling us things.. once I texted to double check .. her attitude was condescending saying .. I told you that already.. then that continued.. every text every day was rude and like that..
we cleaned cobwebs, garden pool, house .. she left shitty stars ( but nice words) simply saying how nice we were and took care of the cats. But some were 4 stars.. 
she was a piece of work..
she personally texted us saying because we left the washing not in washer..in basket ..
( we left at 9am that day and she was arriving late night so didn’t want it to be all moldy)
And that furniture was moved.. we don’t know what she was talking about! Such a weird comment and feel sorry for people that are so wound up and miserable like she is..
It made no sense and I can see why she was not with that partner! She was really mean and nasty as a personality..
the moral is always interview them very well.. if they’re sketchy on the call about anything it’s red flag for me!
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I’m so sorry you went through that but thank you for posting. I’m glad you mentioned the disparity between written instructions and verbal instructions and her shaming you afterward, suggesting she already told you things, because I’ve now noticed a trope of this happening in high maintenance and manipulative sits.
I was never a stickler for the Welcome Guide or any other written details coming before the sit, because I do video calls and usually sus out everything there, plus my sits are usually just a week or two. It’s very rare that there are big surprises during the final handover or the sit. Though it has happened, it’s never been enough to ruin the sit or make me want to leave before. (Ie once I came to a sit and found out I would have to be cooking dinners for a dog, or walking one 3 times a day instead of two, or that a cat was a lot more pukey and depressed than reported, especially when owners were away….all of these are not dealbreakers but probably should have been disclosed.)
I encourage HOs to fill out the Welcome Guide in general, as some sitters do require it and it’s just useful to have as a reference. But I don’t put a time requirement on it. Most of them do it but some protest. Still, it’s never been a huge issue and I was not worried about it.
Yet I just experienced a “toxic HO” doing exactly this—bombarding me with instructions, preferences, questions, changes to the sit, etc., in the handover period, along with an overflow of convo. Then scolding me if I asked something she felt she had already told me, as though forgetting a detail or asking for clarification in a whirlwind of info is justification for treating me like I’m stupid or not paying attention. Or worse, lying? Of course, none of which are true. I’m just a bit overwhelmed by an intense and demanding person and situation! Oh, and I’m a human lol.
So this seems to be a common behavioral pattern and one I’ll have to be on guard against going forward….and legally speaking, it means checking the Welcome Guide much earlier in the process and even going over it together.
I hope this won’t be necessary on short sits but I just no longer trust how easy and laid back HOs make their sits sound anymore, whether it’s intentional or not.
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Another reason to contact Member Services for all this awful stuff is that you don’t want her to be able to leave you an awful review which will cut you down at the knees before you even begin. Just so awful and out of policy!!! Ugh So sorry, you sound so nice and accommodating but she sounds abusive and manipulative.
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Thank you! Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a way to prevent her from posting a review, unless her account gets shut down. I just hope she’s not mean enough to leave a 1-star review, I will have to think very well about my response should that happen. THS support already confirmed they can’t make her not leave a review.
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I agree you must contact THS. Reach out and get their support.
THS should be able to easily look into their system and see if she edited her listing after you agreed to the sit.
I agree with all that advice to report her. She’s a nightmare and has violated a lot of THS rules and no one else should suffer.
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Hi everyone!
It looks like the HO has already left me a review but I can’t see it until I leave mine. I’m quite scared to see it as I fear she’s capable of having left me a 1-star review.
Here is the review I wrote – could you give me your thoughts before I post it? The average count of stars is 3. I’m not sure whether to mention about the cancelled August sit or not:
"[Cat name] is the most loving and cuddly cat. She’s easy to look after and I very much enjoyed spending my time with her. She’s very curious and loves to be with you all the time.
The communication with [owner’s name] could use some work, though. We confirmed the sit about a month in advance, yet at no point was I provided with written instructions, even though I had asked for a welcome guide. The dates, instructions and expectations kept changing until the last minute and all throughout the sit. I actually learned I would be sharing the flat with her roommate the night before I arrived, as there was no mention of him during our more than an hour long videocall.
She does not seem to trust her roommate so everything, including the closet with the cat’s food, is under luck. At night, I was instructed to lock myself in the room with her. She also kept asking me about her roommate: whether he was in, if he bought toilet paper, etc.
There is an indoor camera I saw when I arrived too, she said she wouldn’t use it, however it was never disconnected.
She likes to receive at least 3 updates a day and gets upset if she has to ask for them. She will likely message every 4 hours tops if she hasn’t heard from you yet that day.
I understand this was her first time using the platform. Nonetheless, I am afraid I did not feel comfortable or treated well and, even though I loved the cat, I would prefer not to go through the anxiety and stress I experienced again. We had already confirmed another sit in August but she wanted me to work and sleep on the sofa instead this time, therefore I asked to cancel given I could no longer keep up with the changes and it wasn’t what we initially agreed upon. So I would guess future sitters will be sleeping on the sofa rather than the green room she has on the cover of the posting. Also, bring your own towels. "
I believe I didn’t forget anything. Do let me know if you think there are more things I should mention.
Thank you in advance (and once again) for all the help <3
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did you mean “under lock”?
“her” is ambiguous – I assume you mean the cat?
I would adjust this wording to make the reality just slightly clearer:
“She likes to receive at least 3 updates a day at very specific but undefined times and gets upset if she has to ask for them. She messaged me within every 4 hours demanding an immediate update.”
I think this is TMI / not necessary. Maybe only say “She mentioned that in the future, she’ll have the sitter sleep on the sofa in the living area and that only the cat should go in her bedroom.”
you might also mention that she canceled another sitter (after confirming their sit) to offer it to you because she changed her mind about their “vibes.”
these are some statements you made in your OP that might be worth including:
- The dates, the instructions, the expectations constantly changed because she’s unpredictable and changes her mind a lot.
- I feel she’s treating me as if I was her employee.
personally, this is how I think I would rate:
- communication: 2
- hospitality: 1
- cleanliness: ?
- pet behavior: 5?
- accuracy: 2-3
- overall: probably 2 for me
keep in mind though that a balanced review is more believable than an extreme one. so you might be right in hovering around 3…
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overall though, I think this review is great – it gives a pretty clear picture of what you went through without sounding dramatic or out of your mind. it’s clear that you’re trying to give her the benefit of a doubt but that she made the sit very difficult for you.
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I think it would be prudent to state that the presence of the roommate and the camera were both a violation of THS terms.
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