hello! i’m new to th and have already had conversations with some really great potential sitters! it looks like i’ve found one and we’re both in agreement that it’s happening, but i confirmed here on th and she has not done the same. i asked her about it and she said that it was ok, that we have a verbal agreement.
i’m just curious if that’s the usual way to go. it feels a little shaky to me. i’d feel more comfortable with more of a “paper trail” so that she can access my welcome guide and so i can leave a review.
A verbal agreement is not okay. She needs to confirm the sit so it becomes “official”
The only reason, that I can think of, that someone wouldn’t want to confirm a sit is that they are still shopping around for other sits that include your same dates or overlap your dates. Once a sit is confirmed a sitter cannot even communicate with people that post listings with the same dates.
I would reach out to her and explain the need for a confirmation. If she resists, you may need to find someone else.
@jm7 I agree with @Alice’s thoughts but also it may be that they are actually booked for a sit that overlaps your dates, not just shopping around. You can search the sitters profile and figure that one out though.
The other reason would be if their membership would expire during your sit and they don’t intend to renew. That would complicate things for them. If you confirmed and they did not renew, that would also complicate things for you as I think the sit could not go ahead via TrustedHousesitters.
A verbal agreement only from a sitter tells me that they have no intention of really confirming at this point.
Exactly. There’s no good reason for someone to not confirm via THS.
You might want to report them to THS, because maybe they’ve flaked on hosts before or might in the future. If so, better that there’s a record of them doing such. People who don’t deal in good faith on THS should not be part of this ecosystem.
these are all really good points. she’s coming over this afternoon for a meet and greet, so i will talk with her more in depth about it.
i really appreciate these insights
Run. Nope. There is no good reason for a sitter to say this to you. The sitter is not locked in until they confirm. You are not locked in until you confirmed. Once confirmed if either one of you needed to cancel, there would have to be an “extraordinary” reason, and you could report the sitter if they confirmed for no good reason. Until a few weeks ago, bad sitters could game the system by continuing to look for sits after accepting the sit. The system has now changed so that they can’t do this. In all likelihood your sitter is NOT committed to the sit and is continuing to look for something better. She could at any point tell you OR not that she is no longer interested, hit you up for $ or do who knows what. I wouldn’t even negotiate this. I would decline the sitter. REPORT it. And move on.
I would not bother even meeting with someone who would not confirm through the system - but if you really felt this this sitter was so far above the other applicants that you want to pursue it, I’d have her accept through THS while there with you. If there is any pushback to this at all, move on.
It appears that the OP is asking about the veracity of a verbal agreement, and two hours later, the OP states that the potential Sitter is coming to the home that afternoon, for a visit.
Now it all makes sense. The potential Sitter is going to visit in person before confirming the Sit!
Sounds like a smart move to me (on the part of the potential Sitter). For the moment, the commitment is verbal. After the visit, the Sitter will firm up the commitment, if the fit is right.
The sitter is visiting the HO to actually meet her and see the home and pets before confirming.
Considering she is a new HO with no reviews this is very sensible before committing to a sit and running into any surprises. It will also be better for the HO as she will be able to put a face to the profile and build better rapport.
I don’t see the problem - she will obviously confirm officially after meeting.
Have a little trust and patience @jm7 that is what this site is all about
Then there’s no agreement, verbal or otherwise. If they’re going to meet, then they’d still be checking each other out for a potential fit. And if that goes well, presumably they’d reach agreement. If so, the OP doesn’t make sense. Why ask then?
Meet up with your potential sitter and you can weigh each other up, if she still hasn’t officially confirmed by the end of the day, move on. A verbal agreement isn’t good enough.
What you describe, a meet and greet where a local sitter wants to check out the sit before confirming, would not be setting off any alarm bells for me. That is NOT what the OP describes:
This is out of the ordinary. Any time a sitter or a HO suggest moving things “offsite” you are raising alarm bells. It’s not usual. It could lead to disasterous consquences. That’s not an overreaction.
If the Homeowner misunderstood the sitter’s intent, that’s another matter. I’m responding to what the OP said happened. The HO’s understanding is that there is “a verbal agreement” and the sitter is taking the sit. There is no such thing as a verbal agreement under THS.
Others have posted that this is not what OP said was happening, but also - I know there has been at least one thread about a HO wanting to meet in person before confirming a sitter, and the response was overwhelmingly that the sitter should walk away, that needing to meet after a video call was unnecessary and also insulting, and wasting the sitter’s time. What is different here?
@belluca Perhaps they live very close to each other, and the potential Sitter is interested in helping out the Owner, but the Sitter wanted to visit first. It does not sound like the Owner demanded an “in person” interview. That is what everyone was complaining about in the other thread.
It doesn’t all make sense to me. This is how I read it: The HO asked the sitter to confirm a sit. The sitter said they have a verbal agreement and confirming isn’t necessary. The HO seems to believe the sit is definitely happening. People have responded that there is no such thing as a verbal agreement.
The HO then posts they will get clarification when the sitter comes over for a meet and greet. My concern for the HO is that the sitter will continue to say they have a verbal agreement and take the HOs keys and walk away and either show up for the sit outside of Trusted Housesitters or not. If there is no paper trail the sitter can say there was no agreement. If there is no confirmation the sitter can come to the homeowner two days before the sit and demand payment. There is NO agreement without the confirmation. It’s dodgy.
People insisting that “it’s obvious that” the sitter is just going to check out the home before confirming are reading something in that is different from what the HO is saying. They are making the assumption that the HO – new to this – misunderstood the sitter’s intent. I’m not making that assumption.
Sitters and HOs need to be honest. If I was a local sitter and a HO wanted me to meet and greet before making a decision, I’d probably say “No thanks” but maybe if it was a longterm great opportunity, I’d say, “Sure. Fine.” My choice. Same understanding. If was a homeowner and a local sitter said they’d like to meet the pets and see the home first before taking the sit, I might say fine or I might choose someone for whom a video chat would be enough. But that is NOT the HO’s understanding of what the sitter said. And I have no reason to believe that the HO “misunderstood” what the sitter “obviously meant.”
The HO came to the forum and started this thread because something felt off. Something is off.
thank you you all for your replies. you all bring up very good points. i think that the sitter was wanting to check out the house, meet the kitties and see the location as well. she’s from out of the country (though is traveling around california for a while) and was already in my town, so she wanted to meet in person, which i actually appreciate. she offered to do it.
because i am new to the community and have no reviews, i think she was being cautious which i completely understand.
after reading all of your replies and the various trains of thought and possibilities, i’m getting a much better sense of how things work here on th. i love it and agree with the rules and protocols to keep this a safe and well working community.
the sitter has agreed to confirm this afternoon. she is traveling and says she will confirm when she has wifi and gets settled.
if she ends up not confirming (i doubt that will happen) but if, then i will report her.
i appreciate this discussion and everyone’s insights. it’s been so helpful.
If she decides not to confirm because there was something she saw that she didn’t like, there is nothing to report. My response was to how you phrased the situation in the opening post. The sit isn’t confirmed until both sides confirm it.