I’m new to THS, with one completed (and successful) sitter prior to this. A couple of months ago I confirmed a sitter for a one week trip that was to begin this weekend. Yesterday, I felt mortified and ashamed to have to cancel but I am seriously ill. What I thought was a stomach flu, in December, has morphed into gallbladder disease and possibly pancreatitis; more tests to come. I’m so dizzy I can’t maintain a sitting position for a long time. I apologized profusely to the sitter, of course. She is currently abroad on another sit as well as she, too, lives outside of the U.S. The other thing I know is that she has a sit bookending what would have been ours, near my city, 30 minutes away. Her two responses have been galling. She is accusing me of not merely lying now about my reason but having deceived her all along (??). At one point, she noted that she’s a therapist and “could tell” I wasn’t mentally right or something to that affect. Then she demanded expense reimbursement. My husband and I had been discussing what is the fair and “right thing to do” by her, beyond the compensation I think she is eligible for through THS. But that was prior to the accusations. I haven’t and won’t reply to her second message–which was the tirade–because I feel to do so is to legitimize it in some way. Does that sound right to others? And What is the mechanism for reporting egregious behavior like this?
Document and contact THS at support@trustedhousesitters.com.
Sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you recover quickly. I would report the sitter to THS, send screenshots of the communications if they are written and cease communications with the sitter. You do not owe the sitter anything. This is why everyone should have a backup plan. Emergencies happen. If the sitter has premium she can file a claim for reimbursement for alternate accommodations. I had a sit in Europe cancelled due to an emergency that was between two other sits and I just wished the HOs well and booked a hotel for those dates. The sitters response is completely inappropriate.
You need to contact THS support, using the word ‘dispute’ in the title (other words like complaint or issue don’t result in any action).
Screenshot the messages urgently if you’ve received them in any way outside of the THS inbox.
Outline the abuse you’ve received and attach copies of the messages.
You don’t owe her any expenses. Emergencies happen, with HOs or sitters, and everyone should be prepared with a Plan B. Anyone who is travelling internationally is foolish not to have premium membership with its assistance towards alternative accommodation costs in cases of late cancellation. It’s the reason I only do UK sits - if it’s cancelled, I can simply just not go.
Sorry you are going through all this.
We’re sitters. Don’t send her a penny given how appauling she is behaving! Plus report her to THS, not that they’ll help much given the sit hasn’t started, but at least you have made them aware of how she is acting.
It’s not a great situation for you or her, but as sitters it is our choice to travel to your destination, we take a chance hoping everything will be fine, the same as you take the chance on a sitter who doesn’t fall seriously ill too.
Ignore her, you didn’t deliberately plan to be sick.
We had 2 sits cancel last summer, both for a very good reason, which was a total of 11 weeks and it only took us 3 days to fill the entire time up again. Now I’m not saying it’s as easy for others when they live a long distance away, but still, it’s her choice to chose to travel such a long distance, it’s the gamble she took.
Ill health and death of a pet or family member is the only thing that we can’t plan for. Switch off to her, and get yourself well again.
Hope you get well soon.
@Purpledress i do hope you are feeling better and the worse is behind you illness wise.
Like others say, report your concerns to THS and let them deal with it how they decide. It’s a kind thought to compensate her, but as sitters, we face this possibility and have funds just incase, so as much as you may want to, don’t make a financial gesture.
We all face unforeseen circumstances and deal with them in different ways, how she’s reacted is out of your control.
So please just chalk this up to a difficult situation that’s now in the past and concentrate on your recovery, which is more important than anything else.
All the best for 2025.
Hi @Purpledress
Just popping on to say that I agree with the advice you’ve already been given, especially around working with Membership Services, and I can see that you’ve reached out to them.
I’ve asked the team to pick up your email as soon as they’re able to.
Please do keep us updated here on how things are going, and lean on us if you need to talk things out.
Jenny
THS needs a blocking function.
Report her, ignore her, move on. Mature sitters shouldn’t act in this manner. Hope you get better soon.
Welcome to forum, @Purpledress . I’m so sorry you have been ill.
Speaking as a sitter, no, you should not reimburse anything. All members, sitters and host, should have a plan B if the sit falls through.
This is what the premium plans are for. If one choose not to have a premium plan (like me) that is something I should be prepared to fix myself.
I guess under special circumstances one could decide to offer something, but I would actually discourage it in this case, as it could be interpreted as bullying paying off and result in more of similar behavior by this sitter and/ or other the sitter gives advice to (or someone reading here).
Wishing you a speedy recovery and happy sits in the future!
Feel better soon @Purpledress 
Do not engage. Do not justify. You aren’t responsible for inappropriate reactions to life…document, screen shot and send to support
Agree with NOT offering anything in response to something like this, even as a one off.
Yup. I’d suggest NEVER giving any kind of compensation or such out of generosity when anyone becomes rude or abusive. That’s because it will only encourage them to think that jerkish behavior gets rewarded, so they might actually increase such behavior. And that would be a disservice to others who encounter them.
Hi @Purpledress, welcome to the forum. I just wanted to wish you a quick recovery.
I agree with everyone else that no compensation should be offered and I would keep no further communication with them after such outrageous behaviour.
Hello
I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this. This sitter’s behavior is completely out of line and unjustified.
While it can certainly be a kind gesture to offer to reimburse lost money, sitters are responsible for their own travel costs and hosts are under no obligations to reimburse them should there be a cancellation. And in this particular instance, the sitter does not seem very deserving of such a gesture.
I have been sitting since 2014, and I have never once bought a refundable plane ticket. I will usually book the cheaper non-refundable rate for accommodation if one is available when I have gaps between sits or arrive in the country earlier than I need to be there.
Fortunately I have never had a sit cancelled but in the event I did, that lost money would be my issue alone, even if the host cancelled for the flimsiest reasons in the world.
Cancellations are always a possibility and if the only way a sitter can afford to travel to a destination is to book a non-refundable fare–or that is simply their preference-- they have to be willing to accept the risk they may lose that money.
If a cancellation means the possibility of having to pay for alternative accommodation, they have to consider if they can afford it in the area they may have to book it.
I know when a sitter has back to back sits booked, a cancellation of one can prove particularly tricky since that may limit where they can try and fill the open dates, but again, this something that can happen and people need to be prepared.
You did not do anything wrong here and like others have suggested, you should report her behavior to the site. Not sure what will come of it, but this is not how members should be speaking to each other.
Good luck and feel better!
Bypass THS and report her behaviour to the police.
A tad harsh, I feel.
As others have mentioned let THS support know what has happened & then if it was me I wouldn’t engage any further. These things happen. Concentrate on getting well.
Screenshot all abusive messages and send them to THS. This behaviour is totally unacceptable. Life happens, and now the most important thing is for you to get well, so try not to let this stress you out.