Expectations when arriving the day before, Dinner?

Remember @TheTinnedTomatoes that your review is for the benefit of future sitters. I would say something like ‘meal planning self-sufficiency for sitters would be an asset even if overlapping with the Homeowners’
(Translation: you are on your own)

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HO perspective - I’ve been on this site for 1 year, and out of the 3 times where the sitter came the day before, we took them out for dinner (our treat). This was always a great experience from our side. We love getting to know people and it helps build trusts with the sitter.
With all that being said - I would be put off by a sitter docking a star JUST for not being given dinner. Hospitality is subjective, and to me, as long as they gave you the space and utilities, and bedroom/bathroom where you can have autonomy, this is a bit of an abuse to the stars system

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According to Merriam-Webster, hospitality is defined as “generous and friendly treatment of visitors and guests”.

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Hospitality is definitely subjective, but would you really sit and eat your massive dinners and pour yourself a glass of wine whilst the house sitters are standing right there, after they had come the day before to make it easier on you? Docking 1 star i think is valid as we felt as though their hospitality wasnt at the 5 star level, as like you said, its subjective and subjectively think this wasnt very hospitable.

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I would give 3 stars for hospitality if everything else merits 5. Don’t gush about the positives in the review, just use a neutral tone while describing the general sitting experience. If the HOs are socially awkward/clueless they probably won’t get that anything was amiss from the text but the docked hospitality stars will jolt them. They might ask about that afterwards and then you can say that it felt quite awkward having to eat beans while they feasted in front of you and offered you nothing. Maybe they will learn something.

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would you really sit and eat your massive dinners and pour yourself a glass of wine whilst the house sitters are standing right there

No, I wouldn’t. In fact, this is such an anti-social behavior that I feel like it must be either a cultural difference or a person who is extremely awkward and unaware of social norms. So I don’t know that I would fault them for that (IF everything else is 5 stars according to you)

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I have always been given dinner when I arrive the night before. A couple of times people have said the will get a takeaway or fish and chips just to make it easier for everyone. I do have emergency food with me just in case. I do a couple of repeat sits where not only do they cook, they make enough for the next day and bake a cake.
I would say I have made a lot of friends doing THS and I am booked up until next July. I go to one home where they always book to go the next day, so we can have dinner together and have a good catch up.

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We’ve completed ~30 housesits. Many involved Pet Parent request to arrive a day early. Only a tiny fraction did not include host providing dinner. For most, it’s a pleasure to meet people; talk about their house/pets; and be courteous.
On flip side, when we leave housesit then we often leave fresh bread, eggs & milk for Pet Parent. And where we’ve been asked & agreed to stay an extra night at end (e.g. international inbound flight) then we prepare dinner for Pet Parent. Courteous.

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I think the point here is not getting dinner but the whole awkward situation.

Of course we all assume we get our own food but in most cultures it is expected some kind of hospitality from the host. Things like, “have a seat”, “can I offer you a drink?”, “make yourself at home”. If I had been in the OP’s position, I would have felt awkward too because I would not like to make the first move, I don’t want to offend the hosts implying I am going to get my own dinner, I would not feel comfortable either offering dinner to them as it is their home and and I don’t want to take over when they are there.
I am not saying it’s wrong not to offer dinner but it would have been nice of the owner to give a hint much earlier so the sitter could act accordingly. Something like mentioning stores, restaurants or delivery services.

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Literally spot on NewPetLover. I think Garfield thinks we just care about the dinner aspect and not the actual handling of the situation and hospitality

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It’s not about not supplying dinner, but about not giving consideration to the sitter whilst they themselves dine.

Sitters rate hosts on hospitality. This sort of thoughtless behaviour is neither kind nor welcoming so is inhospitable.

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I completely agree with you that this couple was very rude in their actions. Really awkward. Everyone could have/should have been more proactive in their communication about expectations for a meal that evening.

We usually eat our evening meal around 6 or 6:30 pm, so we would not have waited around to see what was going to happen. We likely would have unloaded our car and then let the owner know that we were going out for dinner and would return around 7:30 pm.

Honestly, though, I am such a planner and a foodie, that I don’t think that we would ever put ourselves in a situation where we did not know about our dinner plan well in advance.

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Interesting discussions - I feel I should add - only a few sits where this happened but when the HO is returning late afternoon and because of flight schedules I’m staying that night I’ve cooked dinner for the HO (after checking if they’d like that and for any food allergies). Nothing fancy or expensive - I grew up in New Orleans so its usually jambalaya (like paella or jollof) - rice, the Cajun trinity (onions, bell pepper, celery and some garlic outside the trinity), smoked sausage, chicken or shrimp, and seasonings.

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I would have found that rude and awkward. We used to do arriving day before for handover and eating with hosts but we try to avoid this now. Husband is vegetarian and a bit fussy about food being cooked beside meat. I only have half a bowel so huge list of things I can’t eat. We just make it very clear that we won’t eat together as we are too complicated but would love to join them for a cuppa. Once had a dreadful experience going out to eat with HO and their friends. Much wine consumed over dinner by them and they were driving, then took us to their friends house where more alcohol consumed. We were nervous wrecks by the time we got back to their house! Our preference now is arrive the day before and stay in a hotel, visit HO that day and then take over on the day of the sit. Our next sit the HO’s have a very early flight so they are staying in hotel near the airport on the day of the sit and we arrive earlier in the day for handover and to start the sit.

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That really does sound awkward. I can’t imagine eating a huge dinner in front of a guest while they are eating baked beans. I haven’t run into this type of situation yet and hope I never do. Pet parents have been clear so far as to whether they will have dinner for us or just dessert.

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I learned a long time go to never assume anything. When arriving the night before I have always been asked to join them for dinner. If I wasn’t I would say, I will have an early dinner on the road and arrive at your house at 6. They will usually say, you are welcome to join us for dinner if you like. If they don’t then you know you are on your own for dinner. Sometimes the sitter doesn’t want to join homeowners for dinner but the invitation should always be extended.

I think it is extremely rude of them not to invite you for dinner. It would make me feel like unpaid staff. And to see you eat baked beans while they are having a roast is unbelievable. I don’t understand how one can do it.

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I agree. It’s called human decency.

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No, I don’t. Making assumptions on what others think and/ or do/might do is probably the root of what happened here.

I think once again you’re missing the point about this whole post. But that’s fine I understand what you mean but yeah the point is the human interaction when we arrived not the actual dinner itself or expecting it, it was how it was handled and how it made us feel.

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I can see your perspective and also have another opinion. I’m sorry you were put in that situation. A mistake is never wasted if one can learn from it. Best of luck.

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