Do I need to ask Member Services to upscale to a dispute, do you think?
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@kirstyS Yes absolutely. I was not sure if you’d already done so. Unfortunately THS will only take action against the other member I.e suspend/investigate & warn or remove them- if you raise an official Member Dispute. Using those exact words.
I speak from experience. We left one sit under dramatic circumstances (not nearly as bad as yours) informed THS immediately & got the sit cancelled. They asked us if we wanted to raise an official complaint but we declined- just happy to get out of it. However a few days later the HO raised her own member dispute against us! We were immediately suspended, with no access to our account, while THS investigated the situation. We were forced to explain & defend ourselves- even though it was the HO in the wrong. It took 2 weeks of back & forth to be ‘unsuspended’ but we remain indefinitely on a ‘watch list’ it was very unfair and also a highly stressful experience. The HO got a warning but no suspension. If we had raised a Member Dispute ourselves the exact opposite would have happened.
Your host deserves to be thoroughly investigated, warned and, preferably, removed. You will be standing up for yourselves and doing all other sitters a favour in the process.
I can understand your anxiety right now but rest assured this type of experience is an absolute exception. Don’t give up! In 7 years of sitting we have only had 3 really bad sits- two of which we had to abandon- and we are currently on sit no.126! 
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I just shot off an email to THS there. Hopefully the HO didn’t get there first! Thank you so much for the heads up, and I’m sorry you are still dealing with the fallout from such an awful experience 
Here is draft 3, hopefully the last one!
Unfortunately this sit, which was scheduled to be 7 weeks long, descended into a nightmare due to extreme and unreasonable behaviour from the host. My partner and I did our absolute best to accomodate the homeowner as far as we were able, and to reason with her, but we were forced to leave after a week. Details below:
First off, D, H and S (yes, there are three. S is a foster and a recent addition), are some of the loveliest, absolute best dogs I have ever met. H is a young rescue with a significant hip problem, but it doesn’t slow her down and she is full of fun. D is super smart and very obedient. S is a bit older than the other two, and had a hard life before her recent rescue, but is super-loving and very chill. All three are very sensitive, easy on their walks (they need to be driven to their walks) and just lovely to be around.
The cave house is a boon in the very hot weather and the pool was easy to maintain and offered a welcome respite from the heat. The guest bed is comfortable and the homeowner is generous with towels and bedding.
Unfortunately, she had not acquainted herself with THS policies or the Code of Conduct, had provided inadequate communications prior to the sit and was in breach of multiple core policies, as we discovered only when we arrived:
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An undisclosed pet,
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Booking her return to overlap the end of our sit by two days,
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A tidy but dirty home,
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Not disclosing her outdoor camera and then using it to monitor us and communicate with us about our actions.
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No Welcome Guide, which is generally no issue, but I do feel that if the homeowner had collated one, a lot of heartache would have been avoided.
My partner and I overlooked these issues - just gave the place a good clean, loved the third dog to pieces, and started making plans to stay elsewhere for the two nights before our flight home (though we weren’t happy with having our actions on camera commented on).
Issues that don’t appear to breach policy but make for a deeply unpleasant experience, and ultimately resulted in the premature ending of the sit were:
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The homeowners ever-changing and downright unreasonable demands,
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Dictatorial instructions as to every minute aspect of our stay,
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Constant monitoring on the camera (and irritation that we didn’t like it. She framed her surveillance as monitoring the dogs once I called her out on monitoring us) and
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Excessive and unclear communications
Over 5 days, the two of us generated 30 pages of WhatsApp messages, and I was expected to be available at all times for phone calls, her preferred method of communication. Her style of communication is ambiguous and unclear and she became annoyed, and occasionally aggressive, when I would ask for clarification.
Because of S’s needs, and because the homeowner had not organised enough medication for S before she left, or left me with any of the dogs’ documentation, there were another 40-odd pages of WhatsApp comms over the same period with the dog rescue centre (officially S’s owner) and a friend of the homeowner, living locally, trying to coordinate actions for the dogs.
In all, I have 112 pages of WhatsApp comms for what amounted to a 7-day sit.
The homeowner expected us to pay for the dogs’ treats ourselves, as she hadn’t left enough, and wanted constant updates. I willingly obliged with updates, but the sit was over long before the treats ran out. When I asked if she had left a float for the treats, she responded aggressively, stating that it was only a few euros for the treats, and that she had left us lots of food. She had indeed left some food and drink, but had also told us to replace it. We didn’t touch any of it.
There were far too many (changing) demands to list here, but the homeowner also expected us to do jobs around the house and outdoors that she hadn’t got around to since she moved in a year or two ago (putting up pictures, sharpening all the knives, clearing out the shed, fixing the vacuum cleaner). We were actually going to do some of them to be obliging, until the nature of our uncomfortable situation became clearer. She seemed to hold us to a far higher standard than she was operating on herself.
What was supposed to be a sit of over seven weeks, surrounded by loving doggies, ended in bullying and extremely unpleasant circumstances after only a week, when the homeowner sent colleagues over to get us out of the house, without warning, under the guise of taking her dogs to a kennel, the day before the newly agreed end-of-sit date. My partner and I helped with transporting the dogs to the kennel (a truly heartbreaking experience), gave the homeowner’s cave another clean, and got out of there. At enormous expense.
It is far too long a story to tell here, but it is incomprehensible to me that someone would place their sensitive and needy pups in a kennel, as she did, when loving and caring humans are available and willing to mind them in their home, rather than adjust her behaviours to be more in line with the platform’s recommendations.
It felt like the homeowner considered the use of her home an enormous favour, and that we were staff rather than pet sitters. She seemed to need to control every single minute of the sitter’s stay.
I cannot recommend this sit
(Post edited by the Forum Team to remove names as per the Terms of Service).
Although you feel strongly about the dogs going into kennels for six weeks, this should not be part of your review as it is your opinion. Stick to facts like the specific examples of the terms of service and/or Code of Conduct she broke.
Also, make it clear that you involved THS right from the start (or whenever you first contacted them) and had their full support, including them contacting the HO re her breaches and instigating the end of the sit (if they did).
Her review of you is likely to be charged with emotion which will do her no good. Be prepared to respond to her outrageous claims in a calm and factual manner.
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Good point, I’ll remove the bit about my feelings on kennels. Thank you!
@kirstyS I agree with all additional comments from @temba
Your review is very long but under the circumstances, I would say, warranted. Future sitters need that info.
One thing to be aware of is that as soon as the forum moderators see your post they will edit it to remove all identifiers, especially names. I’d suggest you edit it yourself right now using just the first letter of each name.
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Oh thank you! I’m assuming that includes pets’ names?
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@kirstyS , I appreciate your drafting the reviews, but they are getting longer and longer, which I think is the wrong direction. I actually thought the first one was best (although I agree with others that the breach of TOS was vague). I am an HO, not a sitter, but I read all reviews left by potential sitters for former sits. The longer and more detailed a review (especially a negative one), the less well it reflects on the reviewer - whether sitter or HO - IMO. I know there are an astonishing amount of issues that arose in such a short time, but I think it’s critical to pick the most salient points and covey them as briefly and unemotionally as possible.
BTW, I am so sorry this happened. This HO sounds like an absolute nightmare of a person.
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Yeah it is terribly long…
also, I agree with @temba that you will likely get an unhinged negative review from the HO. Be prepared, know that this is her issue and not yours, and that if her review is anything like her WhatsApp messaging, good HOs will be able to see right through it.
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Thank you! I’ve read some real doozies and you know the lunatics when you read them!
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I’ve cut the length significantly, and I’m not expecting anyone to read this (fourth!) version. Just posting it here for my own reference. Thank you everyone for reading the pleasant novel (!) and for all the extremely useful advice 
Unfortunately this sit, which was scheduled to be 7 weeks long, descended into a nightmare due to extreme and unreasonable behaviour from the host. My partner and I did our absolute best to accomodate the HO but we were forced to leave after a week. Details below:
First off, the three dogs are some of the loveliest, absolute best dogs I have ever met. H is a young rescue with a significant hip problem, but it doesn’t slow her down and she is full of fun. D is super smart and very obedient. S is a bit older, and a recent rescue, but is super-loving and very chill. All three are very sensitive, easy to walk (they need to be driven to their walks) and just lovely to be around.
The cave house is a boon in the hot weather and the pool offers a welcome respite from the heat. The guest bed is comfortable and HO is generous with towels and bedding.
Unfortunately, she didn’t acquaint herself with THS policies or the Code of Conduct, provided inadequate communications prior to the sit and was in breach of multiple core policies, as we discovered only when we arrived:
-
An undisclosed third pet,
-
Booking her return to overlap the end of our sit by two days,
-
A tidy but dirty home,
-
Not disclosing her outdoor camera and then using it to monitor us and communicate with us about our actions.
-
No Welcome Guide, which is generally no issue, but if HO had collated one, I believe a lot of heartache could have been avoided.
My partner and I overlooked these issues - just gave the place a good clean, loved the third dog to pieces, and made plans to stay elsewhere for the two nights before our flight home (though we weren’t happy with having our actions on camera commented on).
Issues that made for a deeply unpleasant experience were:
-
HO’s ever-changing demands,
-
Dictatorial and erratically changing instructions as to every aspect of our stay,
-
Constant monitoring on the camera (and irritation that we didn’t like it. She framed her surveillance as monitoring the dogs once I called her out on monitoring us),
-
Excessive and unclear communications, and
-
Insufficient supplies of meds and dog treats. Meds were organised and paid for by HO, but we were met with aggression when we asked if there was a float for the dogs’ supplies.
Over 5 days, we generated 30 pages of WhatsApp messages, and I was expected to be available at all times for phone calls, her preferred method of communication. Her communications are ambiguous and unclear and she becomes annoyed, even aggressive, when asked for clarification.
Because HO had not organised S’s meds before she left, or left us the dogs’ documentation, there were another 40-odd pages of WhatsApp comms over the same period with two local contacts, trying to coordinate actions for the dogs. In all, I have 112 pages of WhatsApp comms for a 7-day sit.
Three days in, I contacted THS, and remained in daily contact as the situation escalated. On day 5, I (very) carefully brought up some of the issues outlined above, and HO began removing ‘privileges’, like the use of her car (needed to transport her dogs), and eventually, the sit altogether. At this point, reasonable communication with HO was no longer possible and THS reached out to her on my behalf.
There were far too many (changing) demands to list here, but HO expectations went beyond the remit for house- and petsitting. We were actually going to do some of them to be obliging, until the nature of our situation became clearer.
This already stressful experience reached the point of no return after only a week, when HO sent colleagues over to get us out of the house, under the guise of taking her dogs to a kennel, the day BEFORE our newly agreed end-of-sit date. My partner and I helped with transporting the dogs to the kennel (a truly heartbreaking experience), gave HO’s cave another clean, and got out of there. At enormous expense.
It felt like HO considered us staff rather than pet sitters and seemed to need to control every minute of our stay.
I absolutely cannot recommend this sit.
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Your advice and wording are fantastic!!!
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Absolutely, you definitely need to upscale to a dispute.
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@kirstyS Fab! This latest review says it all! Future sitters will run a mile!! We’ll done.
Onwards and upwards! 
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This 112 pages of Whatsapp comms–I can relate. I just went through a similar sit which I “escaped” before the end date, and in writing up my member dispute to TH I really got exhausted going through it all. I don’t know the official page count, I can check, but for three weeks of a sit it felt like I was now a legal assistant, going through page after page of text to “highlight” and correlate certain items. It was too much. I’m all for communication but I will say – in the two worst sits I’ve ever done, one being on TH and one being off, both times the HO was excessively messaging to this degree. So I count this as a red flag…maybe one that can be caught early, not sure.
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Oh and this–“she becomes annoyed, even aggressive, when asked for clarification”. I hadn’t experienced this until my recent bad sit and I’ve realized it’s a HUGE red flag you can catch early. Even if an HO complains about other sitters “forgetting” or “missing instructions”, it’s just a very resentful tone and a bit of a manipulative trap. If it’s your job as HO to communicate and walk someone through an onboarding process, then if they missed something it’s actually your issue and your job to repeat it or make it clearer. And put it in writing. Make it big and loud and help them understand. Set them up for success! You know? Also, people are human and are managing other things in their lives besides the sit, including travel, work and self care logistics.
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It has been totally exhausting going through it all and I’m pretty sure I’m not done yet I agree the overcommunication would be a red flag, but sadly, until the sit began, she was an undercommunicator 
Absolutely it’s the HO’s job to make sure everything is clear. She’s very very bad at that.
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I think you have nailed it this time. Good Luck.
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I hope you get an absolutely brilliant next sit- you totally deserve it. Any HOs on here reading this thread I think would love to give you the opportunity to get a 5* review on your profile! Best wishes
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